1. Are you planning to upload your awesome map to Hive? Please review the rules here.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Updated Resource Submission Rules: All model & skin resource submissions must now include an in-game screenshot. This is to help speed up the moderation process and to show how the model and/or texture looks like from the in-game camera.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. DID YOU KNOW - That you can unlock new rank icons by posting on the forums or winning contests? Click here to customize your rank or read our User Rank Policy to see a list of ranks that you can unlock. Have you won a contest and still havn't received your rank award? Then please contact the administration.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. The Lich King demands your service! We've reached the 19th edition of the Icon Contest. Come along and make some chilling servants for the one true king.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. The 4th SFX Contest has started. Be sure to participate and have a fun factor in it.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. The poll for the 21st Terraining Contest is LIVE. Be sure to check out the entries and vote for one.
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The results are out! Check them out.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. Don’t forget to sign up for the Hive Cup. There’s a 555 EUR prize pool. Sign up now!
    Dismiss Notice
  9. The Hive Workshop Cup contest results have been announced! See the maps that'll be featured in the Hive Workshop Cup tournament!
    Dismiss Notice
  10. Check out the Staff job openings thread.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
60,000 passwords have been reset on July 8, 2019. If you cannot login, read this.

Garner's Quest

Submitted by Thorneon
This bundle is marked as approved. It works and satisfies the submission rules.
Garner is a poor little murloc warrior who was captured by humans and forced to fight in a gladiator arena. He meets a night elf named Nai've (whos skin is Shandris by Black Stan) and attempts a daring escape. update: added new scenes, camera angles and dialogue. There will most likely be one more update or prologue for storyline's sake.

Keywords:
cinematic, muroc, night elf, gladiator, jail, human
Contents

Garner's Quest (Map)

Reviews
Moderator
01:50, 3rd Feb 2009 by bounty hunter2: A interesting plot to a not so well made cinematic, with lacking terrain, cameras and fade filters. It has some strange twist offs aswell. However it will still entertain you, thus Approved with a 2/5 (Lacking)...
  1. 01:50, 3rd Feb 2009 by bounty hunter2:
    A interesting plot to a not so well made cinematic, with lacking terrain, cameras and fade filters. It has some strange twist offs aswell. However it will still entertain you, thus Approved with a 2/5 (Lacking) rating. You still need a lot of work on it to make it better.

    You can find my new review Here.
    You can find my old review Here.
     
  2. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    my first uploaded map. I hope you guys enjoy!
     
  3. DredLord2

    DredLord2

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    290
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Pretty good cinematic. The only thing I would change is make it a little more detailed, how did Garner and Nai've get captured?
     
  4. Day-Elven

    Day-Elven

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    699
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    [+] It don't have a complexive storyline, but it's a funny cinematic =)
    [+] It's original in comparison with other cinematics
    [+] Nice landscape
    [] Why is it "created by Unknown"?

    Overall: it's a very good cinematic [9/10]
     
  5. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    i dont really know why its unkown. Oh and dredlord, maybe I will make a prologue.
     
  6. WONDERWOMAN

    WONDERWOMAN

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2009
    Messages:
    15
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Yes, it's funny, good job. But... i've a idea, you don't explain why Garner was captured, you may explain it in the second part, just a idea, is your map. When Garner and Nai've are liberated there is a bug in the moment they are near the prision doors.
    This is my first reply, jaja, but i'm not a novice in the map development.
    I joined Hive this mont but i will upload my newest map in a few days "Conquest of the Power"
    Sorry if my english isn't correct
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2009
  7. Septimus

    Septimus

    Joined:
    May 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,175
    Resources:
    49
    Packs:
    1
    Maps:
    35
    Spells:
    8
    Tutorials:
    5
    Resources:
    49
    1) The footman repeat the sentence "They went into the crypt. We might as well say they are dead. Alright boys, move out!"
    2) Terrain could be better, at some senario it seems like the entire destructible/doodad been spam randomly across the map and try to reduce height variation; it seems like you set it pretty high at certain area while the other look rather smooth.
    3) No fog effect, without fog effect; the edge of the map could be seen.

    [​IMG]

    4) Knight unmounted from the horse and become bandit ? Come on, there is a custom model of knight that doesn't ride horse. Use that model instead of the bandit.
    5) Invalid author name, breaking the rules of this site.
    6) The victory condition should be set to skip dialog, skip scoreboard.

    Overall rating was 2/5, but since it was breaking rules for having invalid author name. I have to give 1/5 at this moment.

    Is this map approvable ? To be honest, the map quality is between the edge of decent and lacking at this moment. So I believe the best status for this map would be REVIEWED.
     
  8. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    I dont know why it is unkwon, I'll try to reupload. As for the other things, thanks for the critique, I'll try to improve. the black spots you point out in the screenshot is the lowered cliffs where the spectators sit, I guess you cant really see them without looking at the editor, maybe ill pan across the crowd in an update.
     
  9. Avex

    Avex

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,386
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    8
    Maps:
    1
    Tutorials:
    2
    Resources:
    11
    I don't like the blue fire, it doesn't look good at all, and to agree with Septimus, create more good atmosphere, everything is just massed and theres no real.. terrain Variation.
     
  10. Day-Elven

    Day-Elven

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    699
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Scenation --> Map description --> Author
     
  11. bounty hunter2

    bounty hunter2

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,949
    Resources:
    7
    Icons:
    3
    Maps:
    3
    Tutorials:
    1
    Resources:
    7
    Here is my rating and comment:

    1 - 10 points go on originality
    1 - 10 points go on object editor work
    1 - 10 points go on scripting
    1 - 10 points go on terrain
    1 - 10 points go on bug free
    1 - 10 points go on gameplay*/fun factor
    1 - 10 points go on lag
    1 - 10 points go on proper submission and crediting
    -------------------------------------------------
    That equals 80 points max.
    -------------------------------------------------
    + Cinematic
    1 - 10 points on camera work
    1 - 10 points on dialog
    1 - 10 points on music and or voice acting
    - Cinematic
    Object editor work
    * Not in cinematic
    -------------------------------------------------
    ->That equals 100 points max.
    To get a Hive grade over 1/5 at least 50% of the 80 (Triggered map) or of the 100 (Cinematic map) points is needed. That means at least 40 or 50 points. However if a map gets rated over 1/5 by me, that doesn't mean that I will imidietly vote it to be approved.

    Originality: 6 points
    Interesting kick off, not that interesting characters thou.

    Camera work: 3 points
    Mostly bad static cameras, keep your cameras fluid all the time, it went through ground once.

    Scripting: 5 points
    Basic triggering that anyone could do, nothing special.

    Terrain: 4 points
    This wasn't much of a good terrain, too plain, boring, needs a lot more work.

    Bug Free: 10 points
    Runs fine.

    Gameplay/Fun Factor: 4 points
    Well the story was interesting, maybe to predictable, it wasn't fun to watch in most places, as the terrain was bad, dialog, cameras all need to improve for a better watch.

    Lag: 10 points
    Fine loading time, no lag.

    Proper submission and crediting: 5 points
    You need images, more info.

    Dialog: 3 points
    Not so good of a dialog. Needs more of a ancient feeling. You use todays words, and make me believe like two todays people are talking.

    Music and or voice acting: 2 points
    You need custom music to make you a better atmosphere, sounds make about 50% of the cinematic in my book.

    In overall: 52 / 100
    49%
    minimal 52% met.
    For the hive grade: 2/5 I suggest this map for: On Hold
    -------------------------------------------------
    In overall it is a cinematic that is okay, but I can't say it is good. You need a lot more work:

    - Fix the camera in ground shrinking
    - Improve camera
    - Improve dialog
    - Improve terrain
    - Improve music
    - No sky
    - Knight mount - bandit, where the hell is the horse?

    Here is my tutorial that I think it's helpful:

    http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/f278/various-tips-cinematic-maker-112768/

    Improve and update and I may just vote you for approval.

    Good Luck, bounty hunter2
    I might not be checking this topic for some time. If you have any questions about the review or you update the map and want me to check it again, feel free to PM me or Visitor message me at any time.
     
  12. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    ok thanks. Ill try to work on all those. It is my first complete map, so I didn't expect it to get a great review anyways. And does a murloc talk like an ancient person?
     
  13. White-Lion

    White-Lion

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Messages:
    393
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    well im sorry to say but this is just a cheap copy of thralls life
    (lord of the clan)
    esxept that this is a chinematic
     
  14. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    ...never heard of it.
     
  15. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    Update!!!!!
     
  16. Melthal

    Melthal

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    63
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    4/5 was pretty good for your first map.
     
  17. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    thanks melthal
     
  18. ModelTester

    ModelTester

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    106
    Resources:
    0
    Resources:
    0
    Good job for your first map :D
     
  19. Thorneon

    Thorneon

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    343
    Resources:
    11
    Icons:
    10
    Maps:
    1
    Resources:
    11
    thanks :)