Dalaran

[Moderator]

02:59, 13th Mar 2014
Orcnet: The scripting is well written, yet overqualified due to exair's character traits from beginning till the end and Dalaran's unusual law of attaining order of specific rules. I was expecting cinematic fights and more of the sfx scenes, hence its more of dialogues and story ongoing. Although the story takes enough advantage rather than visuals, can be accepted.

 

[Shadow Fury]

I'm glad I've been helpful with my map! Anyway, I will review this later.

 

[WEM]

Thank you for your help because i had no idea how to do it. It was my first time

 

[PlankingWolf]

I'm glad I've been helpful with my map! Anyway, I will review this later.

Wait, what?
Your map?
I am confused.

 

[Shadow Fury]

Wait, what?
Your map?
I am confused.

My map, Fight of Mages, has a credits' list done in a particular way. I guess he used the same method but still I have to watch the cinematic to be sure.

 

[Shadow Fury]

It was time someone posted a cinematic. However, it wasn't as great as I expected. Here is my review:-

- This time, I can allow flat terrain to be used in the city parts. However, the terrain strongly lacks of doodads and the tile variation was used really badly. In some places, like the graveyard, only one tile was used (excluding the blight at one corner). Every place was too empty so the overall result was pretty bad
- Inconveniently flat terrain in the farm and graveyard. They shouldn't be completely flat
- Two speeches of Hellen have the name of Exair. The one of "Help Help" and another one about the madman killing people
- A few dialogue mistakes like misspelt words
- I don't know if that's a mistake, but a speech of a wizard in the final scene has the name "King". I think that this is impossible as the king vanished when Maedoc appeared

SUGGESTIONS:-
- Vary your tiles. Do NEVER cover large areas with one tile only. Add some Dirt and Rough Dirt to the graveyard and make the terrain there slightly hilly. In addition, your terrain urgently requires an abundant amount of doodads. You could use some trees and vegetation in the city parts. However, it would be better if you rely on tutorials because I am not an expert terrainer
- Have a look at your dialogue and correct the mistakes, some are really clear.
- The speeches whose name doesn't match the speaker should be fixed
- Consider improving your cameras by making them nearer to the characters

OVERALL RESULT:-
In conclusion, this cinematic has an intriguing plot yet it has an awful terrain which crucially needs to be improved. Till now, I give this 2.5/5, rate 2 and AWAIT UPDATE! due to the really cheap terrain

 

[WEM]

It was time someone posted a cinematic. However, it wasn't as great as I expected. Here is my review:-

- This time, I can allow flat terrain to be used in the city parts. However, the terrain strongly lacks of doodads and the tile variation was used really badly. In some places, like the graveyard, only one tile was used (excluding the blight at one corner). Every place was too empty so the overall result was pretty bad
- Inconveniently flat terrain in the farm and graveyard. They shouldn't be completely flat
- Two speeches of Hellen have the name of Exair. The one of "Help Help" and another one about the madman killing people
- A few dialogue mistakes like misspelt words
- I don't know if that's a mistake, but a speech of a wizard in the final scene has the name "King". I think that this is impossible as the king vanished when Maedoc appeared

SUGGESTIONS:-
- Vary your tiles. Do NEVER cover large areas with one tile only. Add some Dirt and Rough Dirt to the graveyard and make the terrain there slightly hilly. In addition, your terrain urgently requires an abundant amount of doodads. You could use some trees and vegetation in the city parts. However, it would be better if you rely on tutorials because I am not an expert terrainer
- Have a look at your dialogue and correct the mistakes, some are really clear.
- The speeches whose name doesn't match the speaker should be fixed
- Consider improving your cameras by making them nearer to the characters

OVERALL RESULT:-
In conclusion, this cinematic has an intriguing plot yet it has an awful terrain which crucially needs to be improved. Till now, I give this 2.5/5, rate 2 and AWAIT UPDATE! due to the really cheap terrain

Thank you for reviewing the map and pointing out the mistakes. I will upload another once i have made significant changes to the map

 

[StoPCampinGn00b]

I won't complain about the script other than I was semi-interested in it. I'm not an expert on camera angles so you can decide how you want them.


The only that went wrong for me was the scenery. Lots of the rooms were to big and areas near the road needed more decoration. The graveyard and gardens could be slightly hilly. Also, some of the unscaled buildings are used to much and it looks ugly. I once saw 3 giant castles, and tons of large arcane sanctums and workshops.


To sum it up, add some benches and flowers near the streets, and make the grassy areas more natural. I suggest you don't spam upscaled buildings and instead fill them with some doodad houses.


2/5

 

[WEM]

Map updated

 

[deepstrasz]

-they were that stupid not to even ask Edvyn questions!?
-they didn't even keep an eye on him, just in case
-why would jailor Kassan have his men kill the gravekeeper? It was a useless strategy
-they've heard her from such a distance?
-Dalaran has bishops?
-for a torturer, he was damn lame; that's no way to get information
-because Exair could not be controlled!? He wasn't even able to detect an undead or demon, whatever that Maedoc was

2/5.