"Broken" the poem

[Jsprat100]

She (When I needed her most)
is gone (Leaving me at my lowest)
forever (Leaving my wondering why)
She's left me to rot all on my own,
Forever more. Bye, bye

Its not you, its me,
Just an excuse to get herself free,
What did I do wrong to be left on my own?
She wont answer messages or pick up her phone,
Why would she treat me so thoughtlessly?
How could she do this to me?

She (I never stepped out of line)
is gone (Never a fight or a whine)
forever (I struggled to keep her happy)
She's left me to rot all on my own,
Forever more. Bye, bye

Friday morning at nine o'clock its at an end
Seeing a boy that I once called my friend,
Meeting that git from the 10th grade.

She (I am desperate now)
is leaving (I can't cope when she's no longer around)
me (A broken heart is one thing I can't mend)
Something inside that was always denied
For all these years. Bye, bye

She's left me broken. Bye, bye


A bit of a twist from my last poem. Based from the beatles "She's leaving home". Taken from a first hand experience.

 

[arafor]

This is a very nice poem, it has quite the meaning. Keep on writing them man. 4/5!

 

[Jsprat100]

Thanks, It means alot. One needs to channel ones sorrow into something.

 

[arafor]

Well it is great you found a constructive way to do so. I heard it makes people feel better as well.

 

[Jsprat100]

Its made me feel worse. As long as someone is enjoying it.

 

[arafor]

Awww well don't feel bad its a good poem.

 

[Jsprat100]

Im more irritated than unhappy.

 

[Fussiler1]

A good poem.
I really like how you continue it with ( )

 

[Jsprat100]

Thanks, if you've ever seen lyrics for the origional beatles song, you'll be able to see the resemblance.

 

[mjllonir]

It is very good. Can't say I'm a fan of all the ( )'s, but hey, it works, because you're getting a strong double message across.

Did you write this on something based on what happened to you?

 

[Jsprat100]

Sort of, yes.

 

[klishky]

hey who's the once yer friend guy