Ashes to Ashes

[Moderator]

22:48, 26th Jun 2009, by Linaze
Boring cinematic that lacks any camera movement at all, has bad terrain, unfitting music, lack of sound effects / animation, Rejected

 

[.LsD]

Forgot to mention
Length of Cinematic is 3:03[183 seconds; WOW! Longest Cinematic i've made]

Sorry for lack of sounds. I don't know how to make sounds like the Call of Blizzard, Final Frenzy Cinematics

 

[Amigurumi]

I watched it, and I have to say, that it was boring. But I make a review for that, so you know what you can improve.

1) terrain was lacking, low number of tile variation, doodads/destructables
2) lacking camera angles/use
3) you wrote at the beginning all the words with a capital letter
4) when the bandits burned the house and field down, it looks odd, because they only walk to the house, and suddenly it begans to burn
5) at the credits scene, when the undeads were defeated, the humans just walk back to their points and waiting there
6) when Jacob went through the portal, he suddenly lies on the ground and I don't know what happened to him
7) Music was also lacking, because when some scenes were changing, it suddenly stops and the new music plays instantly
8) no sounds

you should first try a little bit on cinematics. I would give it a 1/5, because of the points I mentioned above. Try to improve it. My first cinematic wasn't very good too. Try to learn, and you get better and better in cinematics. Also search for custom music, it makes your cinematic more exciting, and gives it a nice atmosphere (but use the right music ). I hope you will learn from that. And don't give up so easily, like 'Oh, I did a bad cinematic, I'm not good at it, I will stop making cinematics'. Everyone can learn it.
I'm not going to rate it yet, and I'm hopeing for improvements.
Good luck with it!

 

[ModelTester]

Here's my Review on Ashes to Ashes

Terrain: Your terrain was lacking and it looked very dull, plain, and boring.
Story/Cinematic: The story was kinda boring, not really action packed or something that would catch your attention. Also, it wasn't really original.
Grammar: You had grammar mistakes such as "Am I A Muderer?"
Camera: I felt that you could improve the camera angles in some areas of the cinematic.
Animation: There are barely any animations in this cinematic.
Music: The music was mediocre.
Sounds: There were no SFX in your cinematic.

Improvements that you should make are on your terrain, camera angles/use, and try to make up your creative storyline.

 

[Septimus]

1) Description - The description at this site is plain and short, it could be much better.

2) Terrain - Lack of tiles variation, height need to be adjust and there is a need for a significant use of destructible/doodad. Add some rock, shrubs, flower, wild life and so on to make the visual better. Forest does not consists of 1 type of tree only.

3) Camera - I don't think I see any camera movement. A good cinematic should not only use instant switch.

4) Music & Sound - There is no sound or neither sound effect. The music selection isn't that good either.

5) Animation & Special Effect - No sfx been use and the animation usage for character could be consider 0.

6) Scripting/Triggering - The scripting was poor, it lack of a few basic cinematic setup and you set the dialog either too slow or too fast.

7) Replayability - The replayability values was none. The angel of death immediately dissappear without any acknowledge where you could add a special effect that make him leave the scene.

To top up with, the finale battle scene was boring. All it does was hack and slash without any interesting effect over it.

Also, the house was soo small and the human size almost the same size of the house. The house suddenly caught fire the moment the bandit get close to it? That doesn't make any sense.

 

[.LsD]

Okay!! Thnx for the lacking stuff ...!!! I will update soon
Things I need to know

1) How do I make my own sounds like I want Jacob to say "Am I A Murderer?" [Thnx for grammar mistake]
2) How do I off Instant Switch
3) I wonder why it wasn't original??
4) Can ya tell me where I can get cool Sounds and themes for my cinematic
5) I tried to give the CaptainPissed1.wav file on my cinematic but it didn't work so i removed it

Plz tell me Fast

 

[ap0calypse]

To answer your questions:

1. Record it with a mic (headsets and webcams usually have one), you can use the program "Audacity" for it (best freeware program).
2. Create a lot more camera's and switch between them with a delay (view camera over 5 seconds, for example).
3. I actually once tried to make a cinematic like yours... (guy loses his wife and house, becomes insane) - the only thing I wanted to do different is:
   I wanted to put the accent on the house (with his wife inside) burning down, the camera was swaying softly up and down, while the house exploded and bursted into flames - then the camera shakes and lowers to the ground (the guy falling) and fades to black... the camera zooms out, the guy is on the ground, people around him are running, but the sound is muted... he can only hear voices inside him... voices of his own and... something else (which would be the evil guy in your cinematic).
   Unfortunately, that's only a 15 seconds cinematic and I didn't do anything else with it
4. Check Final Fantasy music (google "The Price Of Freedom, or "Under the Apple Tree" for sad scenes - for action scenes, you can use "A beating Black Wing" or something")

I have added an unfinished project, it was meant to be the second part of my first cinematic ever, but I've never finished it because of boredom...
The terrain isn't really awesomely great, the special effect is rather lame and the story is stupid, but you get the point
You can also see that I have used waits, but I do not recommend that! Instead, use this tutorial: Timing with Reals

(Before watching my cinematic, turn on the music)

I hope this helped, since you look like you want to learn more ^^

 

[Amigurumi]

@ ap0calypse: why you don't finish it? it looks nice, apart from some minor mistakes, and I want to see the full one

 

[ap0calypse]

@ ap0calypse: why you don't finish it? it looks nice, apart from some minor mistakes, and I want to see the full one

I can tell you the full story without the map if you like xD
Hmm... I don't know why I don't finish it, I guess I don't really feel like it
I used to enjoy making larger scaled projects, but I don't do that now... I've also lost interest in the story (which is originally a 4-page story in word).

Thanks, though... I really appreciate it (what minor mistakes? )

 

[Amigurumi]

what a pity, I really want to see it D:
I was watching it, and when apocalypse appeared I thought, yeah now it's going to be exciting! And then: 'This is only a preview, and is not going to be finished' -> oh noez^^

When Apocalypse speak, he was named 'Illidan'

 

[.LsD]

Thnx ap0calypse ... ur cinematic helped me ... i might update it and make it cool

 

[Linaze]

Ashes to Ashes is a cinematic that tells the tale of Jacob, whos family were murdered by bandits that also burned down his farm.

Since this is a cinematic, I am going to begin with the camera work. There were no camera movement in the cinematic at all. Of course there wasn't just one camera, but the change between the cameras were instant. which made the cinematic feel very stiff and made it boring to watch.

The storyline of the cinematic wasn't very deep and it didn't feel as though the author had put much work into it. As I said, the protagonist is Jacob who considers suicide since he has lost all of value in his life after his family was killed and his farm burnt to the ground. However, in the last seconds in his life, Satan grants him one wish. The last character is the protagonists friend who tries to stop Jacob from committing suicide.

The terrain of the map was one of the worst parts. Most of the scenes looked really empty because they lacked tile variation, height variation, doodads, destructibles etc. I strongly suggest working much more on the terrain, especially on the things I mentioned above.

The music wasn't that fitting, and there was not single sound or sound effect that apart from a small battle scene (that felt very random) which made the cinematic very quiet.

There were no special effects or animations apart from a few flames at all that were used to make the cinematic feel slightly "cooler" which contributed further to make the cinematic feel more stiff and boring.

To summarize, the stiff camera work, the plain, nearly doodad-less terrain, the too simple storyline, the unfitting music, lack of sound effects, special effects and animations really made this cinematic very boring to watch, boring and stiff.

1/5 (Unacceptable) and voted for disapproval.

 

[.LsD]

Hmm .. so u r saying u going to help me in my cinematics?? coz i already put some special effects and some animations ... changed music and stuff

 

[ap0calypse]

Hmm .. so u r saying u going to help me in my cinematics?? coz i already put some special effects and some animations ... changed music and stuff

Erm, who said that? ^^

Anyway, you're welcome... the point of all my maps is so other people can learn, I never protect any map I create because I don't want to limit the amount of people that want to learn mapping... it's good to see that there are still some people who can get help from my maps ^^


Remember that when making a cinematic, you have to create an atmosphere, the atmosphere decides everything in a cinematic.
Example: a cinematic with a rapid camera-movement, flashy and sudden effects is probably a battle cinematic.

Your story is quite sad, so a dark fog combined with a winter sky (omg, I totally forgot to say that you need to add a sky!) will help a lot.
You also need to use custom trees, add some melancholic doodads (black stones, dark walls, an empty, deserted, but big city - things like that).

And another important thing: rain! rain, or any other depressing weather effect ^^

A camera that moves very smooth and slow, don't make any rapid movements, when fading to black - make it appear from another position (I've faded the camera once in my cinematic, you can see how I've done that).

And don't forget to click my dragon and my egg I've clicked yours

 

[Hawkwing]

You sort of mispelled my name and credited me rather than Mr.Goblin and Cavman - I just submitted the resource, since I technically shared ownership over it, as it was part of one of my projects.

 

[.LsD]

Your story is quite sad, so a dark fog combined with a winter sky (omg, I totally forgot to say that you need to add a sky!) will help a lot.
You also need to use custom trees, add some melancholic doodads (black stones, dark walls, an empty, deserted, but big city - things like that).

And another important thing: rain! rain, or any other depressing weather effect ^^

A camera that moves very smooth and slow, don't make any rapid movements, when fading to black - make it appear from another position (I've faded the camera once in my cinematic, you can see how I've done that).

Lol .. I added a sky .... Thnx abt the custom trees part but where do i get it. ....... and why an empty,deserted, big city ??
I did put rain .... maybe you didn't put the particles on ...But neways ... ty ...

Hawkwing ... sorry for mispelling ur name and i didnt knw that was sme1 else's model .. my bad .. I ll fix it

 

[ap0calypse]

I don't know... big, empty cities are sad xD
I'd like to see the new version when it's ready


I just thought the emptiness made it look more dramatic ^^ (theres a castle next to it, but you can't see it in this screeny...)
I've also used custom explosions, custom fire and a custom house, which are recommended

Screeny

(Explosions by WILLTHEALMIGHTY, the house by Communist_Orc, the fire byNBah).

 

[.LsD]

Cool Flames ... i like it !!! Also ... i will get the custom trees and stuff. ... and update it ..... Can ya help me in the next cinematic ??

 

[ap0calypse]

Cool Flames ... i like it !!! Also ... i will get the custom trees and stuff. ... and update it ..... Can ya help me in the next cinematic ??

Yeah, sure
By the way: I've just created a test-map (I wanted to create a cinematic-system and ended up creating this).
I've tried a camera-system with only 3 camera's (4, with the credits-cam, which is actually not necessary) and the movement with triggers, but that's harder to modify than expected xD

(The credits at the end are cut for an unknown reason, but it's good enough ).

I have tried to create a terrain in a 64x64 map, which has also failed xD
Anyway, enjoy

 

[.LsD]

Ty ... it was kinda funny