Tilt Shift Blacksmith

[MiniMage]

Yeah, the Tilt Shift Blacksmith is the name of my story. I got inspired to start writing when I read some of Keiji's story. I figured I didn't get all that much response hoping for people to pop into the chat, so I followed StopCamp's suggestion to post it in here. Oh btw, if you can come up with better titles, I might change it.

If you're curious about checking out my novel. I'll drop a Discord link to my discord community. The chances of me making updates in here is rare.

Join the The Tilt Shift Blacksmith Channel Discord Server!

Check out the The Tilt Shift Blacksmith Channel community on Discord – hang out with 82 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

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1. In Medias Res
2. Vertigo
3. Prelude to a Dance
4. Dance of Trolls
5. Maze of Memories
6. Maze of Memories (2)
7. Herbalist Gerard
8. Herbalist Gerard (2)
9. Herbalist Gerard (3)
10. The Grand Descent
11. The Grand Descent (2)
12. Treacherous Path
13. Treacherous Path (2)
14. Treacherous Path (3)
15. The Other Side

16. One Case of Blyat
17. Pipe Down
18. Lifeline
19. Hide and Seek
20. Dire Straits
21. The Crazy Ivan Gambit
22. The Crazy Ivan Gambit (2)
23. The Crazy Ivan Gambit (3)
24. The Crazy Ivan Gambit (4)
25. The Crazy Ivan Gambit (5)
26. Cheeky Breaching
27. Fubar Pass
28. Tankrobatics
29. Stalinium Swandive
30. Stalinium Swandive (2)

31. Terra Ignota
32. Unlikely Bedfellows
33. The Big Squeak
34. Preparation
35. Insight
36. Deeper
37. Awake
38. Practice
39. Ignition
40. Steel Hopscotch
41. Ripples
42. Simmer Down
43. Iskandar Plains
44. Iskandar Plains (2)
45. Frozen Fortress

46. Frozen Fortress (2)
47. Forty-two Percent
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55.
56.
57.
58.
59.
60.

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...etc.

Feel free to comment the thread. Leave suggestions, ideas and whatnot in here.
Also in the google docs, you're able to mark sentences and point out things, allowing for more direct input. ;D

/MiniMage

 

[Gottfried]

Well I read it all along.
Title is why Tilt Shift Blacksmith? Tilt Shift is a photography term far as I know. Or it means that the pov characters changes after a chapter? Okay...
I have no title replacement.
Fragments of Darkness was quite suprising in some place. Christofer remained quite mysterious, though that twist with the santa hat was funny at all. Overall it was interesting.

 

[MiniMage]

Lovely, I appreciate the input.

The meaning of the Tilt Shift Blacksmith was based on an earlier concept. I'm not sure if it exactly fits right now, since the story has evolved since then, but yeah. I still keep it since I can't figure out any better name for it. XD

Would it really be a twist to disclose that he had a santa hat on his head? XD

 

[Gottfried]

After a dark environment maybe only a few can expect the santa hat.

 

[MiniMage]

Figured I'll bring this thread to the attention of those either part of it or interested in this story.
@DEAD FiSH @chobibo @DD Mikasa @DEAD FiSH @VeljkoM

Chapter 2 needs some tweaking, but planning for chapter 3 is already underway.

 

[Lasersquid112]

What definite time period is TTSB in?

 

[MiniMage]

Do you want me to disclose such information? Wouldn't it be more fun to figure it out from reading the story?

 

[Kyrbi0]

Guys, some books have it on the back cover ("a sprawling epic set in the 17th century!"), but some books are intentionally written such that they keep such things a secret.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Please make my job a little easier... I'm a grammar Nazi so I have to proofread this D: (revise was leading to a link :/)

 

[MiniMage]

No can do. I will be making derps because I am bad. Or something.

Either way, figured I'd inform you guys that one page and a half has been written for chapter 3, so about half of chapter 3 has been added.
It's up to you guys if you want to wait for me to update so that the full chapter has been written or if you want to check out the first half now.

 

[Lasersquid112]

The hell is a chassi? U mean chassis?
"squished daddy long legs was shown, with legs and wings". SINCE WHEN DID SPIDERS HAVE FUCKING WINGS?!

 

[MiniMage]

A computer case, also known as a computer chassis, tower, system unit, cabinet, base unit or simply case, is the enclosure that contains most of the components of a computer (usually excluding the display, keyboard and mouse).

I thought chassis would refer to numerous chassi. I mean, it sounds like the plural form of the word. Like cars and helicopters. After numerous googling attempts, it seems you are right, I'm correcting it now.

Daddy long legs: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016...to_crane_flies_the_hov-a-22_1453808640623.jpg
Technically speaking, daddy long legs aren't spiders, but when they land, they move like spiders. It's just that they don't have 8 legs.


Edit:
Updated chapter 3 with a bit more text. It's almost 3 pages now. Gonna add a little more and then get started on chapter 4.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Such a cruel dream...
You said .’. I am disappointed.

 

[MiniMage]

' ' implies thought.
" " implies speech.

There is no need to be disapointed.

 

[Lasersquid112]

I am VERY disappointed. You misspelled a word that was RIGHT THERE *degrades into mindless rage*

A computer case, also known as a computer chassis, tower, system unit, cabinet, base unit or simply case, is the enclosure that contains most of the components of a computer (usually excluding the display, keyboard and mouse).

I thought chassis would refer to numerous chassi. I mean, it sounds like the plural form of the word. Like cars and helicopters. After numerous googling attempts, it seems you are right, I'm correcting it now.

Daddy long legs: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016...to_crane_flies_the_hov-a-22_1453808640623.jpg
Technically speaking, daddy long legs aren't spiders, but when they land, they move like spiders. It's just that they don't have 8 legs.

That, sir, is a crane fly.

 

[MiniMage]

Much of europe call those daddy long legs.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Much of europe call those daddy long legs.

But the technically correct name is Crane Fly. Also, apparently, much of Europe is confused. Daddy long legs are a completely separate genome than crane flies, as well as an entirely different species

 

[MiniMage]

Daddy long legs is the direct swedish translation. English people call them crane flies, however, I don't really think they resemble flies. Now, accept that the rest of the world calls them differently. No one of us is wrong, we merely have cultural differences.

Also, you double posted, twice. Please edit your comments if you have additional things to say.

 

[Lasersquid112]

?? I didn't double post tho??
Some issues, obviously. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, ect. Also, you don't need to reiterate the title at the start of every chapter. People tend to remember what book they're reading.

Also, I've gathered that Christofer is socially awkward.

 

[MiniMage]

?? I didn't double post tho??

You did, I also did, I removed my double post and added it to my previous post. I would suggest you do the same.

Some issues, obviously. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, ect.

Of course, it's only natural. Shit happens.

Also, you don't need to reiterate the title at the start of every chapter. People tend to remember what book they're reading.

I initially planned to make it chapter based, as mentioned in the title, in this thread, in my chats with you, with my public chats with others and as you could see on my profile. But yes, I do get that. I was initially planning on splititng it up so that I had many documents, one for each chapter. I might do that later. Time will tell.

Also, I've gathered that Christofer is socially awkward.

Well, you're free to interpret it that way if you wish to do so. I personally don't make judgement calls based on one interaction though. Particularly if that individiaul is panicing at that point in time.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Well, you're free to interpret it that way if you wish to do so. I personally don't make judgement calls based on one interaction though. Particularly if that individiaul is panicing at that point in time.

Direct quote from The Tilt Shift Blacksmith: figured he would say at least something. Christofer eventually waved to the burning man and said “Uh, hello neighbor, you seem to be, uh, you know, on fire.”


You seem to be... Ya know... Flaming.

 

[MiniMage]

That's a dream though. Also, that's a joke. Most people wouldn't try to talk to a man that is burning outside their kitchen window.

 

[Cherrymage]

Greetings, I've finally read this story of yours - surprise isn't it?

Well, I must say it's a good read, nice variety of beautiful words and perfect amount of actions and descriptions. The story is mysterious and intriguing, yet somewhat confusing. (I don't know, maybe I don't get enough sleep or what else?) Makes me want to turn the next page and figure out what's with these dreams?

Keep it up, MiniMage
Maybe you can teach me how to write better? Sometimes I have great story ideas, but due to my lacking skills I couldn't come out with a decent novel even if I wanted to...

Here's my thoughts so far:

• I don't know but I feel the title is... a bit off? I am not good with titles, but I think a better title would be "The Mug of Mystery", "Realms of Wonder" etc.
• I think you should separate different point-of-views/perspectives with asterisks, equal signs or a line. This would make it a bit more organized.
• I was attracted by the mystery surrounding the strange dreams, however, I think you should reveal to the readers maybe a bit about the character's motives (such as their curiosity to explore and find the answers, escape the dreams, stay in the dreams, get back on reality?) and include some actions, maybe some actions too?
• Try to make things clearer and less confusing, but without removing the mystery?
• Surprises, maybe? You call yourself the Master of Shock anyway (in the chat), so why not prove to us this time in your book?

 

[MiniMage]

Well, there's a lot of points there. First off, thank you.

On towards the actual points.

1. If you want help, just ask. I'll do what I can to help. Set up a discussion (Used to be called PM) and we can chat over there about ideas you wish to write or set up a thread related to a story you would like to write and ask for tips there and we can chat over there.
2. Those two feel a tad generic. Feel free to keep thinking of names though.
3. Astrisks? Maybe. Idonno. We'll see.
4. This is a case of the myserious mysteries. Small pieces of info and hints are spread throughout.
5. Any particular question that is confusing you the most that you think I should focus on? As for confusion, it's supposed to be there. I will gradually grant answers, as long as it matches the flow of the narrative.
6. Well, mysteries and surprises come here and there, remember the spider? A terrible surprise. Again, If I can ensure that a surprise matches the flow of the narrative, then I might add one. But I need to make sure I don't overdo it, or I will kill the atmosphere even worse than bad actors in a movie.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Mini, would the swamp be loosely defined as humongous? I'm trying to revise the book, but futilely.
Is the thing making the tremors a biped, triped, or quadruped?
Can you give a specific breed to describe the size of the spider less loosely?

 

[MiniMage]

What is your interpretation regarding the swamp?
Also, Why reveal a mystery? That goes for both the tremor making and the type of spider.

 

[Lasersquid112]

I thought the chapter was over with.

 

[MiniMage]

Hm? What? Over with?

 

[Lasersquid112]

I thought you were done with the swamp, and you were gonna continue the story elsewhere.
Also, you could tell if it was a quadruped, biped, or triped based on the rhythm compared to a humans'. 1.5x faster, tripedal. 2x faster, quad. So, honestly, Christofer wouldn't have to see it to know it.

 

[MiniMage]

Done does not imply I will tell you more. Besides, nothing says that we wont revisit the swamp in the future. Who knows?

 

[Lasersquid112]

It's an assumption that even armed men won't want to fight spiders the size of a fucking DOG.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Such change on chapter 4...

 

[MiniMage]

I've rephrased some parts, added some more. There might be the occasional typo but a rough draft for the entire chapter 4 has been added. Feel free to check it out and tell me what you think.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Danger noodle.

 

[MiniMage]

You enjoyed the chapter, I take it?

 

[Lasersquid112]

Danger noodle.

 

[MiniMage]

Yes, a snake is the most dangerous of all noodles.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Such danger very noodle.

 

[Abovegame]

Cool story , somewhat descriptive i also got some chuckles here and there. At points i find it a bit confusing and some words i don't understand but i guess my vocabulary is not as big as it should be .

 

[MiniMage]

A very rough draft for chapter 5 has been uploaded. Feel free to read it and tell me what you think.

 

[Lasersquid112]

Writers block?

 

[MiniMage]

Well, that and Christmas celebrations. Getting impatient?

 

[Lasersquid112]

Lol ye. No pressure tho

 

[MiniMage]

Chapter 6 has been added to the story, Chapter 7 will soon follow.

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

"Water rushed so far up his ass that he almost felt like it was coming out of his mouth"
That is a heavily unsettling thing to say, and totally unnecessary detail... no one wants to here it!

Chapter 2

 

[Lasersquid112]

It's a very important detail for describing the force of the impact.

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

It's a very important detail for describing the force of the impact.

also likely very impossible.

It would have been better to describe the sound of hitting the water, or the pain, not the water shooting out of his mouth!!!

That is just damn gross, I actually dropped the book after that.

Now I have a broken laptop

Thanks MiniMage

 

[Lasersquid112]

also likely very impossible.

It would have been better to describe the sound of hitting the water, or the pain, not the water shooting out of his mouth!!!

That is just damn gross, I actually dropped the book after that.

Now I have a broken laptop

Thanks MiniMage

You can say something is gross when you watch someone get decapitated with a dull knife.

 

[TheLordOfChaos201]

You can say something is gross when you watch someone get decapitated with a dull knife.

Nah that's fine

 

[Lasersquid112]

Nah that's fine