The zombie survival guide!

[Oziris]

Synopsis

The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

 

[PhoenixFeather]

I guess my hair doesn't live up to no. 5 there...

 

[TheDivineBoss]

Couldn't temper it:

 

[GST_Nemisis]

yeh number 5 messes with my fasion im afraid.

 

[brad.dude03]

It messes with most fashions I think. But I can handle the rest

 

[Zaeden]

4. Blades don’t need reloading.

If they're gunblades they do! >.>

 

[Darth_Muppet]

Yes... 5 is my problem. And I would just rather run in with my hands and embed my fists in their chest. I would probably die, but who cares about dieing

 

[~Void~]

+rep for spelling everything right

 

[Oziris]

i was wondering when i was writing.... when u get up with stairs then destroy the stairs if they are wooden becous zombies are stupid they just put ther hands up and say: eeeeooooaaaeeo

 

[Steel_Stallion]

Nah, ill just die, i dont care as long as my hair looks good.

 

[TheDivineBoss]

I go with a bang at least, maybe a warhead will do.

 

[LiOneSS]

spammy thread... but useful guide

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

i have long hair and slightly baggy clothes, mainly the trenchcoat and shirts.

GUNBLADES YAY they are rarely used to shoot so they don't need reloading, its just you want to reload instead of using the blade.

I honestly wish a zombie horde would infect America, i'd so whip out my katana(which i have 20% knowledge and skill with it) and start hacking away. it's fucking heavy too how can the original owner(jap samurai) hold them up. I mean usually they are skin and bones. Probly ancient herbal steroids.

 

[TheDivineBoss]

How things should work according me:
- Zombie Scourge grows in Asia, killing some people and those go to America.
- America gets totally fucked up and calls for solitute and makes big walls around the borders so no one can get out.
- The rest of the world stays safe and happy whatever, etc. While America is #1 in Top of the world's fucked up countries!

Amen!

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

Does Zombie Scourge in Asia only take down population of india and china at a almost combined amount of 4 billion people, down too like 200 million? then kills most of the middle east(i hate their hats!!! and facial hair!!!) then the zombies move on too africa where the wildlife kills all the undead.

Then while America is being attacked, we never put up a wall between us and mexico, cause we won't do it now for illegal immigrants, and so south america then gets ravaged, and people ( like mwuah) fucks around killing zombies for sport.

Watch shawn of the dead, I could see the world ending up like the end of the movie, "zombie games". Also noticed most zombie movies take place in Europe?

 

[TheDivineBoss]

Dawn of the Dead (2/New) is made in US. -.-

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

Shaun of the dead, 28 days later, and 28 weeks later was made in England.

 

[brad.dude03]

Shaun of the Dead is the best Zombie film ever made, with the possible exception of Peter Jackson's Braindead (known as Dead or Alive in North America).

On a related note, it's amazing how fast this topic has degraded.

 

[GST_Nemisis]

Shaun of the dead, 28 days later, and 28 weeks later was made in England.

i think 28 weeks later was more american influenced, but it may well have been made by english guys. 28 weeks later was just ownage and shaun of the dead is, as brad says, the best zombie film ever.

a good zombie/alien cross over is the 1970's remake of invasion of the body snatchers. what a great film.

 

[brad.dude03]

The original was great as well.

 

[GST_Nemisis]

not seen the original, but i would like to.

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

I havn't seen either 0.0

Wish they would combine the movies "A beautiful mind" and "28 weeks later* together. Now that'd would be awesome, guy killing lots of zombies but really, they aren't there, cause he's schizophrenic.

 

[Oziris]

Lol if u guys want to find a zombie just go to the sametary at Helloween it's crazy!!

 

[GST_Nemisis]

yeh the sametary...that place rocks.....

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

lol u mean semetary?....
friend ripped his pants when we was jumping cemetary fence.

 

[TheDivineBoss]

*Cemetery.

Always make me depressed when I get there.

 

[Rakdos Defiler]

Not me, death has no feelings to me, maybe the lack of funerals i've been too, and later the corruption of my mind. Eh anyways, i think cemetaries are very bright and kick ass looking, i love large tombs.

 

[DaedraEater]

Yeah, I like places like tombs... Ones I've been to are quite impressive (big and small). I love architecture, it FASCINATES me with its styles...

 

[donut3.5]

Why did you rip the back of a book off and post it here? This is the exact back of Max Brook's Zombie survival guide..
At least credit him.
--donut3.5--

 

[GST_Nemisis]

is he the same guy who wrote "how to survive a robot uprising?" that book was win

 

[frostwhisper]

I have to disagree with the bike thing...

 

[GST_Nemisis]

does he mean motorbike?