• Check out the results of the Techtree Contest #19!
  • Listen to a special audio message from Bill Roper to the Hive Workshop community (Bill is a former Vice President of Blizzard Entertainment, Producer, Designer, Musician, Voice Actor) 🔗Click here to hear his message!
  • Read Evilhog's interview with Gregory Alper, the original composer of the music for WarCraft: Orcs & Humans 🔗Click here to read the full interview.
  • Create a void inspired texture for Warcraft 3 and enter Hive's 34th Texturing Contest: Void! Click here to enter!
  • The Hive's 22nd Icon Contest: Creep Abilities is now concluded, time to vote for your favourite set of icons! Click here to vote!

The Risen

Status
Not open for further replies.
Interlude. Alriiight. :D

186044-albums3652-picture52226.png

186044-albums3652-picture52227.png

186044-albums3652-picture52228.png


By the way, from now on, all screenshots I post will be 1680x1050 pixels. At least the In-Game ones.
 
First off, I'd like to say...

mV28jqLOIj5wrpgj23ZHCz2lo1_500.jpg


Now, I'd like to make it up to you by actually being useful in the team! Yay!

I have gone through the prologue and half of Chapter 1. I have found quite a number of corrections and improvements, both gamewise and grammatically.

Let's begin...
175364-albums5150-picture52232.jpg

The description isn't the best. But it works. Nevertheless, an improvement is always beneficial to something so I suggest you change it to something along the lines of this.

The Burning Legion has been pushed back from whence it came from. Their cruel leader, Archimonde, has been stopped from entering Azeroth and Queen Azshara, their once beloved leader, along with the night elven capital, has been destroyed in the chaos of the war. And for good cause.

But the destruction of the Burning Legion wrought a fiery legacy behind it's entrance to Azeroth. The mystical Well of Eternity as all but gone and Neltharion the Earth Warder has turned rogue against his very brethren, the dragonkin. The Burning Legion may have been cast back into the Abyss, but not with the price of nothing.

Among the many wounds left by the demons, the City of Light (Can be improved to something more traditional) has been left in ruins. All that remains of the City of Light are now left homeless, without a leader. But the City of Light did not receive it's name without a cause. It's people, strong and hardy folk, have resolved themselves with a cause to survive. Already, refugee camps to last the onslaught of the unchecked demons have been made.

Among these refuges, Raven Stryker and Shea Shadowstep form ranks among them. Just like any other day, the duo brought about their already adapted life to the harsh situation, conducting arduous and monotonous duties. But their fate plays games, and with the very last vestiges of what they hold to dissipate right before their eyes, the duo may have to steel themselves before the evil that had changed their live in the first place.

Long I know, just pick and choose whichever you like.


175364-albums5150-picture52239.jpg

I don't think there were emergency exits back then. Be creative. Their home is about to be destroyed. I don't think I would be speaking with a clam or bored tone, I'd be panicking. Try changing it to something like this:
Quickly! The Burning Legion is breaking through! Our escape must not be noticed! We can use the Hidden Path to cut through Ashenvale.

Like I said. Be creative, make up names.


175364-albums5150-picture52240.jpg
"As Raven and Shea run off to somewhere in the forest, they realize they're getting hungry and tired. They both decide to take a break."

This passage is at the most...awkward. "...somewhere in the forest..." needs elaboration or at least a flair, something to compensate for the vacuum. "...they realize they're getting hungry and tired. They both decide to take a break.". That's not what happen in the quest. In the quest, I found Glaive Throwers, repaired Glaive Throwers, killed undead, satyrs, murlocs, turtles and the occasional frog. If that is by your definition taking a break, I would
  • Salute you
  • Call Home Defense
Get my point?


By now, you may have already guessed I have loads of corrections, so if I get lazy towards the end, like not provide enough information, then feel free to PM me.
175364-albums5150-picture52241.jpg
Oooer...

That sentence is bad. So bad, that it entirely goes out of contrast. It's like in a conversation you suddenly mention something, which can be good or bad. In this case, it's bad. To further clarify how bad it is, I'll give you an example.
X: So I was thinking, how about you and me go out for Paranormal Activity 3?

Y: Just the two of us? But I'm pretty afraid. I've never watched the first two!

X: That's why, it's just the two of us.

Y:Oh! X! You're so--

indomitable1319: OMZG! ASDFGHJKL! GUYS! I JUST TOOK A SHIT ALL OVER MY BED! HAHAHA! GET IT? SHEET, SHIT? HAHAHA!

X & Y:
wtf_is_this_shit_Very_Disturbing_Childrens_Book_RE_We_dont_say_ampquotGermanampquot_in_America-s400x297-59009.jpg


Yes. It really is that bad.


The following made me fall of my chair in laughter. No offense
175364-albums5150-picture52243.jpg

Before you begin...
you-got-him-good-meme-generator-hahaha-you-got-him-good-eb50b2.jpg


You get me, don't you?


There were to many [/hidden]'s and I got confused so here's another box!

175364-albums5150-picture52248.jpg
This is my moment to shine! After this very two seconds, your map can finally be able to say...

My map is godlike. I am better than you.

Why you say? Before I explain, let me correct it.

You can rephrase the entire passage to this:
Why? Well, you're in a bit of a conundrum here my friend.

*Next dialogue box*

Know what that means?

*Next dialogue box*

It means you have no choice.


tumblr_l2ty6sPqCK1qamygho1_500.jpg


It did, that was
epic




That was all the corrections I have for now. All I have are spastic pictures I took during my game. Enjoy!

175364-albums5150-picture52252.jpg


175364-albums5150-picture52251.jpg



Finally, my post has come to an end. Hope you enjoyed and learnt something from my corrections!

Good luck to you!
 
Here's an opening picture.
youareforgiven_1_1.jpg


As for Correction #1, maybe I'll just use Orcnet's name: Ferodala.

Correction #2: The name was originally the Trade Route, I just don't remember why I changed it. I'll just go back with the old name.

Correction #3: Alright, I'll fix that too.

Correction #4: I'll replace that line.

Correction #5: I'll create a better effect and make the scene more believable.

Correction #6: Yeah, I'll fix that too.

As for the gold, I remember fixing that a long while ago.
 
I thought I should give some output. I just played the game, it was great. I would really say that the terraining had the most efforts while everything else was great. The set of characters are likeable and the entire campaign starts fresh. Though I was going to point out some grammar errors but then again, Arcisal did it. Anyway here's few problems.



392816_228528190544536_100001620714404_689344_1903522586_n.jpg


Should really replace 'girls' to 'sisters', it would sound much better.


387137_228528143877874_100001620714404_689343_2049500752_n.jpg

*BUG ALERT* It was suppose to allow you to buy units, right? But when I clicked the Ancient of Wonders, all selectable units disappeared. I think it caused some sort of bug when players click the unit too fast or something like that.


#3 Also, the Prologue had that dialogue goes like this "By the Gods", I would suggest that you replace 'Gods' by 'Goddess' since your sticking to the old WC3 lore and night elves do have Goddesses rather Gods right?
 
:ogre_hurrhurr:

Username:
WE Skill: Trigger, Terrain, Ideas, Lore guy
WE Weakness: Lack of commitment (You know this)
Other Projects: Its all dead.
Icon Wanted as part of team: My avatar
Username Color: LIME!
Username Font: Fixedsys

Special Request:
Can I make the boss fights?
I know I will do great!
 
Here's an ability idea, its easy to do and I find it the most creative non-triggered spell. This was taken from my map, EchoStorm. Just change the name and description while your at it.

Walking Bomb
Description: Inflicts a target with a powerful nanite machines that would automatically self destruct if its host dies, causing 200 explosive AoE damage upon dying.

Methodology: Use the Parasite ability as your custom spell. Then create a unit that explodes after death (probably equipped it with Goblin Landmines Death AoE), the model of the unit should be an ability, explosion for example. Then set creature duration for 0.01. That way, whenever you use the spell on a unit, it will cause explosion after death. (It's up to you if you wanna give it damage per second, hope this helps) :thumbs_up:
 
Ken-E said:
Well, how about Elune's Curse or such. I couldn't come up with better names for a walking bomb.
Click to expand...

It's alright. :)
I love the concept, though. :D

PROXY said:
View attachment 108291

Inquisitor is nearly finished. Hope you don't mind that I made him a mounted unit?
Anyway, gonna change the helmet most likely (any suggestions)

PS: Name change uh jeah. :ogre_hurrhurr:
Click to expand...

Now Inquisitor fits the model pretty well. Kinda magical. :D
Great work! :D
About the helmet, I was bear head. :xxd:
But then I realized it would look too weird. :xxd:
 
If you need any testers, I would seriously help you out if you want.

Well anyway I'm looking forward to playing the final project version of this campaign though.
 
USERNAME: Kas
WE LEVEL: 2
WE WEAKNESS: Quest-Based Triggers
I CAN: Craft Custom Units, Hero, Buildings, and Spells
OTHER PROJECTS: currently none
ICON:

COLOR + FONT: Green, or Black, W/ AR CENA
PLZ POST A COMMENT ON PROFILE TO SEE IF I QUALIFY!
 
Hello, guys!
I'm back to leave an update. :)
The project is NOT dead at all. It's just hibernating because school is taking the time I could use to make the maps. I don't want to disappoint any supporter (If there are any). :xxd: :)
This time, I would like to recreate the team members to keep everything arranged and in order. Right now, I will only keep the Senior Members in the team, and the rest of the members will be removed if they want to leave the team.
Right now, the current members are GhostThruster [On leave], Fan, and MrStormyZ. I ask these Senior Members to resubmit their application forms and update their information.
Samurai_Gal666, Orcnet, Cryophoenix and Arcisal will be removed if they do not wish to help the project any longer.

As for those who want to help, I direly am in need of a good coder, and someone who can design the dungeons, puzzles, and quests (Preferably more than 1 person to maximize creativity). Also, although it is not that required, I would appreciate a 2D artist to help out to create special icons of skills and stuff. :)

SUMMARY:

The project is not dead. :D

To Senior Members [GhostThruster, Fan, MrStormyZ]: Please resubmit your application forms to update the information.
To Previous Team Members [Samurai_Gal666, Orcnet, Cryophoenix, Arcisal]: Please state if you do not wish to help this project anymore.
In need of: Advanced GUI Coder, Level Designer(s), 2D Artist

That's all, and thanks for reading! :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

indomitable1319
  • Locked
The Risen [Members Needed]
Replies
13
Views
2K
indomitable1319
indomitable1319
PROXY
  • Locked
Risen
Replies
18
Views
4K
indomitable1319
indomitable1319
MMG_God
  • Locked
LOTR: Rise of Sauron
Replies
4
Views
5K
low-life
low-life
Total_Warrior
  • Locked
Kingdom Of Light
Replies
6
Views
3K
Zelda.Alex
Zelda.Alex
stonneash
  • Locked
  • Poll Poll
[Miscellanous / Other] Monster Hunter Warcraft III
2
Replies
85
Views
19K
sluk
sluk
Back
Top