The Last Samurai-TSOT v1.05

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The Last Samurai
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46059.png[/IMG]
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46059.png[/IMG]

As the Warlords drove on through the Samurai Empire, an unexpected someone returns...


[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46054.png[/IMG]
-Gravity
-Blizzard Entertainment

[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46053.png[/IMG]
-Black_Stan
-Born2Modificate
-dickxunder
-Xaran Alamas
-Daelin
-Olofmoleman
-Chriz.
-xXm0rpH3usXx
-Celestea
-Nasrudin
-aquilla
-Mc !
-Illidan
-reinless
-oBs3rv3r
-Xios
-sc_freak
-abriko
-JetFangInferno
-iNfraNe
-Whitehorn
-Red XIII
-HappyTauren
-Herio-san
-Illidan(evil)x
-BlinkBoy
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46056.png[/IMG]

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[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46050.png[/IMG]
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46050.png[/IMG]

v1.00

-Uploaded The Map
v1.01
-Updated the "Americanized speech" pointed out by ap0calypse.
-Fixed the credits.

v1.02
-Fixed more bugs and flaws, which Model tester and ap0calypse pointed out.
v1.03
-Fixed more flaws, which Model tester pointed out.
-Bullet now moves in straight line.
-More environmental doodads at the introduction scene.

v1.04
-Redone a lot of the dialog and replaced "Feelingless words" with better ones (I think)
-Done some more work (or tried) on the battle sequence, there is not as much
hack and slash and there are less units when they are in the courtyard.

v1.05
-Reduced Filesize
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46052.png[/IMG]
[IMG]http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/members/152860-albums4000-picture46052.png[/IMG]

-This Map is not protected
-Cinematic Time Approx 6-8 minutes
-File size doesn't matter, It's a Cinematic.
-Esc/ Skip Cinematic Ability Implemented.

Keywords:
Raiken, Vago, Juile, Odin, Sharnae, General, Samurai, Warlord, War, Battle, Introduction, Search, Siege, Tiachi, Julious, Garnet, Mankar, Yakobutso, Y
Contents

The Last Samurai-TSOT v1.05 (Map)

Reviews
Vengeancekael - Date: 2012/Apr/08 20:45:09 Reasons: Other: Check out the tutorials section: Tutorials Check out the Map Development Section: Map Development Section Check out the World Editor Help Zone (Trigger issues, object editor, overall...
Level 31
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
3,157
looks ok
but 26mb to big pls decrease it !!
(so it will get approvel..)

I wait a long time to download it ....blaa.....,,.........

it was alright for cinematic to have huge files size.

Yeah, i am really sorry about the file size, it's mainly because of the musics.

And ok, so long as you do review it some time

:EDIT: hmm, will it get approved? I know it's a massive file size, but it is a cinematic?

If the cinematic quality was good, it was acceptable. the only way for it to be reject due to file size was exceeding 8mb and being an multiplayer cinematic.
 
Level 27
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
4,788
Filesize doesn't matter that much in cinematics, as long as all files have been used in an optimal way (I've seen cinematics where the authors did import music, but never played it for example).

The description inspired me to watch the entire cinematic and give some comments on it, let's hope you read all of it since I rarely review a map and always spend a lot of time on it.
(People can really learn from that description by the way, congratulations!)

The unprotection is also a great thing in my opinion.

You have imported quite a lot of awesome models and put them to good use, but "the ultimate terraining map" is not valid for credits and neither have you given credits in-game, which you really should.
The music was also put to a good use and was a great help to build up the atmosphere (though you should probably note which song it is, apart from the original author).
The terrain was also heavily based on said models (and skins), but I find it hard to judge that because creating a samurai town with standard warcraft models would be near impossible.
Then again: try to work a little on some of the doodads placed and the tileset, I could only see 1 fog (might be mistaken there), you can change this in-game to change the atmosphere even further.

Besides that, there were awfully much typo's and grammatical errors, which could've been prevented with the use of a simple spelling checker (copy/paste it in MS word or something).
Also, try not to overuse the triple-point ('...'), use an exclamation mark or any other fitting symbol where due (such as "No, no, no, no this can't be happening...", you can put an exclamation mark at the end).

At first, I thought the dialogues were rather good (if you neglect the mistakes), but they quickly turned out to be standard Americanized dialogues.
You started repeating "honour" over and over, making it a bit boring and then it turned out to sentences like "Just shut up, and keep fighting!!", "What the hell?" or "Arghh! Shit! There's so many of them!" (literally taken from the cinematic) and I really though OH, COME ON! You started out so well with the introduction and then you do stuff like that?


Most of the battles were a complete mess... most of the time some random fighting and I can't see why there would be a burning tree when there are people fighting with katanas and swords (even the gunpowder units don't just burn a tree, they either blow it away or put a hole in it).
Then there's the blight in the central room, how can there be blight there?

The triggers are also pretty messy: no leaks removed, waits instead of a timer, no real movement system (apart from Paladon's systems).
The bullet doesn't even fly straight, it would've been very entertaining if you actually used a movement system and decent camera-work for the bullet (not too matrix-styled, but not too passive either).

The camerawork is avarage: the movements were good, but it went through a lot of models, something you should really try to avoid, and it moved too suddenly (this is because you used waits instead of a timer/real system).
The camera in the center hall, where the two enemies are standing before eachother is sloppy: you should make the camera rise above the units or next to them, not through them...
At some point in the cinematic, the general and the warlord are in some sort of 'showdown', but aren't even facing eachother (they were facing downwards).


By now you probably think that this is a very negative review, but I actually rate it a 2/5 (Lacking), which is rather good in my opinion ;)
If you at least add the proper credits, I can approve the map, but unfortunately: my personality cannot accept maps that don't give proper credits - call me old-fashioned, but I see no reason to change.

Status: Rejected (Until Updated)
Needs fix:
  • Credits (add proper credits to all authors of all files you have imported).
  • Terrain (only some minor edits, change the fog throughout the game).
  • Misc issues (facing angles, camera through models).
  • The dialogues! Please!

Of course, I could say that the triggering and camera would also need to be fixed, but let's face it: you need to completely redo the entire triggering in order to do this.
So I just suggest you fix the above and I'll approve the map.

Edit: I know that this is probably one of the 'better' cinematics (though I approved the others), but times are changing :D
 
Level 27
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
4,788
Thanks for the review, at least i got something to work on improving now, Thanks.
I will try to get those things changed, but i kinda don't get what you mean by Americanized.
Well, I don't know if you have read my post before or after I edited it, but I added 3 quotes from your cinematic (though I think I did that before the edit xD).

Anyway: you know those classical American movies everyone loves, with huge battles and awesome heroïc sentences?
They're really not that awesome, and those sentences really shouldn't be so over-hyped.

I highly doubt that someone who's honour and glory is his highest priority would say stuff like "arggh, shit! there's so many of them!".
The reply to that ("Just shut up and keep fighting!") could also come straight out of a movie: imagine an American movie with some skinny dude and a badass dude with a shotgun that are fighting zombs... that's exactly the situation where that dialogue could be used (zombies crawling out of the sewers and coming from behind shady corners, the skinny guy yells "SHIT! So many!", while the badass dude keeps blowing their heads off and replies with the previous quote).
This is a battle 'for peace and glory'! You aren't slaughtering zombies, neither are you some badass dude with a shotgun.
Polish your language a little and it will be fine :)
 
Level 5
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
105
Summary: The cinematic takes place during the Samurai Era, where the generals Raiken Yanobokuya and General Yakobusto are both engaging in a war called The Siege on Tiachi.

My Review
Downloading.
Downloading..
Downloading...
Downloading..... 26 MB! that's a lot!

When I first saw that a cinematic was uploaded by xDeathKnightx, I was jumped high happily and downloaded your cinematic as soon as possible because I was expecting it to be such a fine and polish work unlike most other cinematics that I've seen.

To begin with, the primary parts in which I was disappointed in the cinematic concerned the use of language and the numerous amount of typos. Some words were redundant like honour and glory which was a little bit aggravating. I felt that you needed to change the use of language by varying words because it kills the mood and atmosphere of the story. I also took into account that when Odin shot his bullet which aimed for Rajin, it did not fly straightly toward him.

When I read some of the cinematic lines, I was thinking . . . "Did I just read disserved?" And then I watched the cinematic again and saw the word misspelled.

"You are no different from the dirt on the floor, you disserve to die."
The sentence could have be rewritten like
"You are a waste of an existence in this petty world. An abomination! Your existence has no value. You do not deserve even an honorable death."

I didn't like some lines of the cinematic like
"Keep Fighting! Do Not Give Up!"

I felt that you could have replaced that line with
"Do not falter! We can still win!"

Lines like these grasp more power, feeling and value. However, when you say lines like "You are no different from the dirt on the floor, you disserve to die", it does not really give a positive effect toward the viewer that is watching this cinematic. Also, most typo errors can be fixed by Microsoft Word Document or you can look up words on dictionary.com
I understand your position that maybe English is not your language, but you could always ask another user or use MS document to fix your grammatical/spelling errors.

The typo errors involve:
disserve - deserve
faulter- falter
Your- You're (You are)

Positive parts that I liked about your cinematic:

The terrain was really done well and I had a clear, positive visualization in how a Samurai city or war looked like back in the old days. However, why did you use footmen/wizard models vs. Samurai/Archer Models? Is this a clash between Medieval times and the era of the Samurai? That part was a little bit perplexing, but I was like "Oh the heck with it, the cinematic quality is still mediocre."

Battle Scene
The Battle Scene between the army was alright. Mostly units just whacking each other back and forth though :\

Questions/Comments

Is this cinematic based more on the Samurai Era or mixed with magic, demon mistresses, etc.?

Good Job on the cinematic! I enjoyed watching. Looking forward to seeing you make the next part.

My Review: 3/5
--------------
Here are some screenshots of flaws that you made in your cinematic that can be easily fixed.
 

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Level 19
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
1,363
Yea, i only quickly updated it last night, because i had to goto bed for school in the morning, but today i can give it a good clean up, Thanks for the reviews, i got something to work with now ^_^.

And also, there is a slight bit of magic/mystery in this cinematic, it's not completely based on reality back in samurai era.

And i will do the whole cinematic script over, with better use of words.
 
Level 2
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
17
Begining is too boring.. no acation just some cool models..
Some of models have 5 or 6 swords o_O Look at doughter or mother samurai.. i forget.
Sometimes top of the tree cuted by end of map or end of sky )
 
Testing in bound, review after. Also, it's "Screenshots", without ' and "Models" as well
Review

Map Name: The Last Samurai-The Siege of Tiachi

Creator: xDeathKnightx

Information: The Siege of Tiachi is the third part of The Last Samurai Cinematic Series.

-------------------
Camera:

The Camera work needs some major changes, sometimes it wasn't really showing you the important things and when there was a conversation, it never moved. Making the camera move very very slowly would make it look better.

Animations:

There were no talk animations, adding some would bring more life into the scenes.

Combat:

The Combat scenes were not good at all. There were 1000's of units attacking each other and when the general and the Warlord leader wanted to fight, then the general died with just one spell. Because the viewer would've expected something "longer". Also put some special effects in the battles.

Environment:

The Environment was very nice, although there were some unnecessary things, for example the fountain and the night elf obelisks in the courtyard. But overall, it was nice.

Dialog:

The thing that bothers everyone are the dialogs, they are badly written and contain too many typos and sometimes some words are missing. I would recommend you rewrite all the dialogs.

Story:

The story is....fine i guess, but it wasn't really story focused in this one, 90% of it was combat. Focus a bit more on the storyline in the future parts.

Intro:

The intro was the most intriguing thing, it suddenly just started with units swinging their blades in the air. Add a fade out and then write the map's name with creator etc., then slowly fade in.

Overall:

This one did actually have more negative points than positive points, and my rating is 1.5, but i will make it 2/5. But i will not vote for approval nor rejection until you update it.

Some Other Things:

The Bullet movement is still buggy, it suddenly moved a little to the right
In the courtyard, when the battle began, there were too many units, which caused the units to move in a weird way. Some of them moved to the enemy, some of them were still standing there. You had overloaded the war3 engine
 
Last edited:
Review

Map Name: The Last Samurai-The Siege of Tiachi - Review #2

Creator: xDeathKnightx

Information: The Siege of Tiachi is the third part of The Last Samurai Cinematic Series.

-------------------
Camera:

I don't exactly remember the first version of this cinematic, but at least right now, I think the camera work is fine, it's constantly moving around, but perhaps in the battle scene, you should reduce the camera pan time, sometimes it just takes way too long for it to reach a specific character, who is currently talking.

Animations:

The animations are neat, you've added more sfx to the battle and also more unit animations, like the swordsmen dodging attacks.

Combat:

Well I previously stated that the one-shot scene where the general gets shot and is already on the ground was a it short, but I guess you wanted that scene to show that he was enraged and not thinking about his actions.
As for the battle scene, there are new special effects which make it more intense and the various unit animations help the hype, like the mages casting spells, ...

Environment:

The terrain work and the environment is overall, excellent. The environment really resembles that age. However, the only things that didn't really fit, were the warcraft 3 stones lying around, I was expecting them to be also custom models like every other model in the cinematic. And at some places there was fire, like on the stones, which doesn't really make a lot of sense.

Dialog:

The dialog is OK, nothing so special, and there are kinda too many repetitions.
A lot of the typos were removed, but there are some still a few left, but nothing huge.

Story:

The story is a bit interesting, there is a fair amount of emotion in the map, not too much, but sufficient. The first part of the cinematic is just a battle scene and then the final part is more talking, but at least that helps the story a little with the assault plan.

Overall:

The map has improved, the dialog is a little better, but still not satisfying. I've changed my rating from 2.0 (1.5) to 4.0. I'm kinda in a good mood, so be happy I guess :p

Other:

Odin's model is not visible in the battle scene
 

deepstrasz

Map Reviewer
Level 56
Joined
Jun 4, 2009
Messages
16,095
-a priest was running around like being confused
-dancing soldiers
-damn long range guns for that era...
-when retreating, enemy knights ran towards the heroes and then suddenly vanished
-elves!?
-SATYRS!?

2/5.
 
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