The history of Skrur, Shaman. Part 1

[Moderator]

20:09, 11th Nov 2010
ap0calypse: Approved

 

[drakexx]

Ok what i mean about that cinematic:

Description 3/5
Story 4/5
Terrain 3/5
Imports 5/5
Action 4/5
Cameras 4/5

Overall Rating >>>> 4/5 Voting for Aproval

 

[FriendlyHost]

cool cinematic, 9/10!

 

[Ironside]

Here is a Review:

Pros:

-Camara movements are good
-The terrain fits
-Story is alright

Cons:

-Some texts disappear too fast


Rules:

All rules are followed.

My rating is 4/5, + 10 votes for Approved

 

[Arc-BoSs]

-Lacks music

Eh, i've import a music, i have even write it in my description !
You haven't got remove your sound music?

-The attacks are quite fake (for one, the facing was wrong when orc attacks the night elves spy units)

I am of agreement with you, but you know, that remains a orc, so if you have read the book " The chief of the rebellion ", orcs are much more powerful than humains or elfs, so when an orc enter in a rage ( here because of the elves who strike his mother ), he just develops it's power..
So it's possible for an orc, in the context of RP, to one shoot an elf

 

[Ironside]

Well in that case, Review changed.

 

[APproject]

Review, about The history of Skrur, Shaman. Part 1 first release, by APproject

I rate this resource by 1/5 and I suggest it to be rejected until an improvement.

1. Map description is not precise. Please note what cinematic is about, not some kind of notice that it is your new peoject..
2. Loading screen was missing. I couldn't see loading bar, only the text of it. Description need improvement either. It's just a cheap copy of map's description pasted into the description of Loading screen.. Please note what cinematic is about and what's happening there.
3. At the beginning, everything happened way too sudden, how about starting from black screen and fade in, in several seconds?
4. Transmissions contains many grammar mistakes.
5. First transmissions flows too fast, I couldn't manage to read it all from first look.
6. Camera angles are pretty bad and cheaply done. The entire view is from the sky all the time. Some actions that should be seen are in the corner of the screen. Please improve camera angles, add more cameras. Now it is really bad work of it.
7. I didn't like your selection of models. A single elves has the bright blue glow, it's like heroes, and how can here by many same kind heroes? It looks bad. And the mother of an orc is an elf? What the hell?.. Your story was not clear enough, I didn't realise that she had taken the child. And don't call it as it is a mother, more like the one who have saved his life and now takes care of it.
8. You should also improve names of your units. Don't call it like *Scount Elf 2*, give them names instead of calling them numbers..
9. An elf suddenly jumped out from the ground, right? It attacked the woman and when that shaman died, some kind of green orc kid died too. It didn't seem to be that orc dropped that kid, it looked like it died and came from nowhere.
10. I cannot skip entire cinematic whenever I want to, please implent this kind of system allowing me to end cinematic.
11. I didn't realise the purpose of these four heroes stand in the circle and attack each other few times in a row.
12. Sar'thris was like a person who is in charge of multimedia. It looked like he is switching videos and showing different parts of movie. It didn't even seemed mysterious, it was rather silly.
13. Please remove Author words as a transmission. You should obviosuly add text messages, not via cinematic and unit transmission actions. It was a nonsense. Unit transmission is used to express units that are shown in the action, author is obviosuly not like that.
14. Fighting screnes were badly developed. It contains some kind of intervals, plus it wasn't really realistic: slashing air, appears explosion, unit don't die for few seconds after it's been killed..
15. These units has no portrait model. Look at screenshot cuts below:

Screenshot Cuts (Count: 3)

16. Cineamtic ended way too sudden. It didn't even seemed to be end end of not finished project. Didn't even seem to be continued in the future. And why the hell cinematic mode was turned off? I surely don't want to see this at the end of cinematic:

Screenshot

Generally, cinematic wasn't very interesting, you should work more on the story expression, since I cannot read and observe actions at one time. Terrain and environment seemed to be fine. One music track wasn't fitting entire cinematic, adding more, short sound tracks and adding them into different parts of cinematic would be better solution to add that fine feeling of your story.
I have told you at least half of these points in your earlier cinematic's review, but it seems like you are not willing to learn from my reviews. Because of that, it don't deserve more than 1/5 from me.

 

[Arc-BoSs]

I think that you exaggerate a little.
To see what you put, it would be said that I have make a cinematic of beginner, and that I have make anything.
From there has to deserve 1/5, sorry but it is exaggeration, this cinematic deserve at least 2/5.

There are many things which you did not see well.

And the mother of an orc is an elf? What the hell?..

My map is not protected.
The import of the mother is based on an elf yes, but the color is changed, and she is GREEN like an orc.

some kind of green orc kid died too. It didn't seem to be that orc dropped that kid, it looked like it died and came from nowhere.

The Shaman held the baby in his arms, so when he died, he released the baby on the ground. The baby had not died, just dazes.

I cannot skip entire cinematic whenever I want to, please implent this kind of system allowing me to end cinematic.

Scuse me, but i cannot do that :/

Well, i've read and read again your opinion.
There are no badly things which I cannot make yet, I point out nevertheless that I am not a pro of cinematics.
I am French, rather young, and I do all that I can so that English is comprehensible, even if there are errors of ortographe, at least whom one understands the sentence.
I must acknowledge that I did not pay attention to the small inaccuracies on which you preferred to look at.
Well, thanks you for your criticism, i just go to improve my map and my description.
But i think this cinematic don't deserve 1/5, but at least 2/5.

 

[APproject]

From there has to deserve 1/5, sorry but it is exaggeration, this cinematic deserve at least 2/5.

I was wondering about it, firstly, I was determined to set it 2/5, but when I realised that there are points mentioned in my earlier review about your other cinematic and you did not learn anything from it, I set it to 1/5 and I am not sorry about that.

There are many things which you did not see well.

I watched the cinematic three times and two of them was just looknig at actions, didn't read a thing. I saw everything I wanted to. It is your cinematic's fault that it is made not clearly enough.

The import of the mother is based on an elf yes, but the color is changed, and she is GREEN like an orc.

Didn't notice the green. There are plenty female orc models around Hiveworkshop, just pay time in searching and you'll get what you need.

Scuse me, but i cannot do that :/

You can, but you are not willing to. Go to World Editor help forums, search tutorials or simply analise another cinematic, where is such a trigger that allows players to skip it all.

I am French, rather young, and I do all that I can so that English is comprehensible, even if there are errors of ortographe, at least whom one understands the sentence.

If you know the problem, do something to solve it. Get some help from others or just don't upload your resource if it contains not clear language, if you'll ignore it, don't expect better rating from me, because I am not the one who gives 4 or 5 of 5 without a proper reason.

 

[Arc-BoSs]

Didn't notice the green. There are plenty female orc models around Hiveworkshop, just pay time in searching and you'll get what you need.

I know it, but i just look for an female orc model without weapons and pretty, not like the world of warcraft's females orcs...
And it was only.

I watched the cinematic three times and two of them was just looknig at actions, didn't read a thing. I saw everything I wanted to. It is your cinematic's fault that it is made not clearly enough.

So, Excuse me , I had badly judged you.

You can, but you are not willing to. Go to World Editor help forums, search tutorials or simply analise another cinematic, where is such a trigger that allows players to skip it all.

I already went to see, but there is nothing.
If I recopy it of a map, it is not a question of knowing to recopy it, but of knowing to learn and do it!

If you know the problem, do something to solve it. Get some help from others or just don't upload your resource if it contains not clear language, if you'll ignore it, don't expect better rating from me, because I am not the one who gives 4 or 5 of 5 without a proper reason.

Yes, i know i know, but I did'nt ask for 4/5 either, but 1/5 it is as if I did'nt have do any work…
I use a site of traduction ( free - traduction ) it's not a bad site, but it is not perfect either..
And I will not disturb my family/friends to be translated my sentences either, that remains my work, it is with me to look for the good/bad english..

You can understand that if I have 1/5 with each one my cinematics maps, without having any positive point, that desire will not never give me for advancing, even if I understand that you want to explain me all the problems and that you do not do that with a bad intention.
But to reading what you write, one would say that I have mainly do a fast work and not improved..
A beginner's work..

 

[Ironside]

Here is the trigger to stop watching:

• Stop Watching
  • Events
    • Player - Player 1 (Red) skips a cinematic sequence
  • Conditions
  • Actions
    • Game - Victory Player 1 (Red) (Show dialogs, Show scores)

 

[APproject]

I already went to see, but there is nothing.
If I recopy it of a map, it is not a question of knowing to recopy it, but of knowing to do it!

I am not saying that you must copy it. Analise the system of these triggers and create it for your map. Look at the structure of that trigger and try to understand it.

Yes, i know i know, but I did not ask for 4/5 either, but 1/5 it is as if I did not have do any work…
I use a site of traduction ( free - tradcution ) it's not a bad site, but it is not perfect either..
And I will not disturb my family/friends to be translated my sentences either, that remains my work, it is with me to look for the good/bad english..

You can understand that if I have 1/5 with chacunes my parts, without having any positive point, that desire will not never give me for advancing, even if I understand that you want to explain me all the problems and that you do not do that with a bad intention.
But to reading what you write, one would say that I have mainly do a fast work and not improved..
A beginner's work..

Maybe 1/5 is a bit too harsh for you, I inderstand it, but I am not happy with the thought that you did not learn from my earlier review. Instead of complaining, I urge you to fix these points at all costs, then notice me that you have updated it - I shall take a look at it again. By fixing few major points out there, my rating would rise to 3/5 for sure.
I am not talking about you family and its help, how about getting people from Hiveworkshop, who are able to assist you? I have found few in the past, who helped me with the grammar and spellings in order to improve my projects.
Maybe my review is bashing you back, but you must accept any kind of criticism. I will mention a good point only then, if it will astonish me. As I said, terrain and environment art is fine at this point.

 

[Arc-BoSs]

Maybe 1/5 is a bit too harsh for you, I inderstand it, but I am not happy with the thought that you did not learn from my earlier review. Instead of complaining, I urge you to fix these points at all costs, then notice me that you have updated it - I shall take a look at it again. By fixing few major points out there, my rating would rise to 3/5 for sure.
I am not talking about you family and its help, how about getting people from Hiveworkshop, who are able to assist you? I have found few in the past, who helped me with the grammar and spellings in order to improve my projects.
Maybe my review is bashing you back, but you must accept any kind of criticism. I will mention a good point only then, if it will astonish me. As I said, terrain and environment art is fine at this point.

Don' worry i take into account your review, and i thank you to have specified your criticism !
and I do not know anybody who is excellent in English to help me to make my except my site of traduction !
Well, i've started a new cinematic, when I would have finish it, I will improve this cinematic

I am not saying that you must copy it. Analise the system of these triggers and create it for your map. Look at the structure of that trigger and try to understand it.

Yes, ok.

Thanks you Barathrum ^^

Edit :

16. Cineamtic ended way too sudden. It didn't even seemed to be end end of not finished project. Didn't even seem to be continued in the future. And why the hell cinematic mode was turned off? I surely don't want to see this at the end of cinematic:

How I can make to remove what you surrounded in bottom? :S

 

[Ironside]

No problem, maybe add a text that will say "you pressed ESC, the cinematic will end in 5 seconds"

 

[Arc-BoSs]

Yes, thanks !

 

[GoGoTauren]

Have you tried using google translate? Translating english to french seems to be slightly flawed, but french to english works perfectly from what I've seen.

 

[Vengeancekael]

Checking the cinematic now...

Edit:

Feedback: [I won't be writing a full review for this, because it is lacking too much]

• Missing intro
• Skip the Scores and dialogues when the cinematic is over
• The terrain is too flat
• Some empty terrain spots
• Terrible Grammar
• Boring Storyline and not very original either
• Music is ok, not really changing a lot, it's the same soundtrack for the whole cinematic
• Bad camera work
• Terrible Combat Scenes: Too slow animations ; Units facing each other doing nothing for about 10 seconds ; Just basic sword slaching ;

My rating would be 1/5 in that case.
I'm not trying to discourage you, but I don't think this cinematic is ready for approval yet.

 

[millzy]

Review

Terrain:3/5 - most of the terrain is all flat

camera: 1/5 - to be honest the camera was pritty pathetic most of the time it wasent moving at all and its basicly all a birds eye view??

Story 3/5 - the story is ok but very confusing

music: 2/5 - there was only one song

action 1/5 - the attacks where so bad especially when the orc fights back

dialog 3/5 - alot of it was to fast to read

out of all that ill give you the benafit of the dout
OVER ALL 2/5 LACKING

 

[deepstrasz]

1/5.
Actions need more work. Everything's kind of dull.