The Exiled

[BreathingAcid]

The Exiled: Hallowed Realm

Chapter 1 - The Archivist

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"When mortals die, their souls pass on to the other side. But not all souls are fortunate enough to have that opportunity" ―Obitus, Lord of Hallowed Realm

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Hidden

"Where am I?" This was the first thought that came into my mind. I found myself covered in ash and dirt, lying on the ground, surrounded by withered trees in a dark and frozen forest. As I stood up, I heard a sharp and paralyzing sound that made me kneel on the ground and clench my teeth. It was so agonizing, I screamed in pain as the ordeal continued. I saw the darkness slowly crawling towards me. It seemed inevitable and I was unable to do anything. It engulfed everything in its path, including me. The sound seized but the nothingness robbed me of my strength that caused me to slowly slip into unconsciousness. "Hey lad! Lad! Wake up! I didn't haul you off the Phantom Woods so you could just doze off!" said a voice as I regained my senses. Then I saw this old man whose skin was pale and wrinkled. He wore a dark grayish robe adorned with intricate designs. "Who are you?" I asked him. "Just the one who saved yer life. Ya were.. let's say.. having nightmares. Now, hmm.. my turn to ask. Do you know who.. ya are?" as he looked at me with a grin. "WAIT.. Wait. Before ya answer, let me rephrase that. Do ya know who ya WERE?" His question confused me. True, I do not know who I am, but he might. "I.. I don't" my reply to the stranger. He chuckled and blurted "HA! I knew it! A fresh one! The Archivist would pay good coin for ya!" as he hastily stood and told me to follow him. I don't know if I could trust him, but it seems that where we're headed is where I would find the answers. I dusted myself off and went with the stranger. We walked along a path of stone and moss, a few more steps and we came across an old ruin. "Where are we and do you know who I am?" I dared to ask. "We're at Dreaded Pass, boy! Inside Hallowed Realm. As for your latter question, I do not know who you are, but I do know that the Archivist does" "..And no more askin', save 'em for the Archivist. I don't get payed to answer yer questions" he added. He started walking around, patting the walls and exclaimed "Ah! 'Ere it is!" A loud, rumbling noise soon followed. Dust shook on the ground and a large stone door slid open, revealing a dark and damp cavern. "'Ere, hold this will ya?" he said while handing me a lamp. The lamp started to emit a dim green light as we entered the cavern. The air was foul, the breeze chilled me to the core and bats flew above our heads. Nevertheless, I followed the old man. After walking through a single straight path, a huge door stood before us. Behind it was a room with five corners, littered with bones and rubble, and strange writings were etched on its walls and floors. The room lacked other passages that we might go through, except the one where we came from. The old man stood at the center of the room and yelled "Come 'ere now! Don't want ta miss the ride do we?" I stood next to him, puzzled at what he meant. He then muttered several words causing the writings to glow, then an intense flash of light filled the whole room. To my awe, we were both transported to a different location. The walls were decorated with bones and other images and gargoyle statues stood at all the five corners. "Feast yer eyes on this!" the old man said as he excitedly opened the doors. "Welcome to The City of the Dead!" Strange structures stood at the vicinity, but for a city, it lacked citizens, even dead ones. It was already dark and only the Moon's rays lit our path. We took a few turns and came upon an old building. "'Ere we are! The City's Library. Now I could earn me some coin" he said gleefully. I did not think about who the Archivist was and what he wants with me. All I cared was that I needed answers. Who am I and where am I exactly? We entered the halls and saw towering shelves filled with dusty books. At the end of the hall stood a tall figure with torn, black robes wearing a bloody cloth over his eyes. "Oy! Archivist! I have something for ya!" my companion said as we neared the entity. "Ah.. Yes.. Another one. Come child, I know what you seek.." the Archivist uttered. "Ey! Whut about me coin?" the old man interrupted. "Here! Begone.. this will be the last time I would have need of you.." as the Archivist threw two silver coins at the old man's feet. "Ha! A coin more than the usual!" the old man rejoiced as he left. "I was told you could answer my questions" I asked. The figure came close to me and whispered "The answers you seek.. I could tell you. But be wary.. new questions will emerge from them.. and then I could no longer be of help.." "Tell me everything I need to know"

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Author's Notes:
Chapter 2 is currently being polished.
Feel free to comment, suggest stuff or give tips. Any stuff you want to ask discreetly, send me a PM. Reviews are appreciated. Thanks.

 

[BreathingAcid]

~Reserved

 

[indomitable1319]

This actually sounds very interesting.
Anyway, will this be a campaign? Or a plot for a map? Or simply leisure?

 

[BreathingAcid]

This actually sounds very interesting.
Anyway, will this be a campaign? Or a plot for a map? Or simply leisure?

A plot for my next project. Hopefully, I could list all the things I require and post them in the Map Development Section.

 

[Binsu]

Your story is interesting.. your plot I mean! If this will be a campaign or a project map of yours, I will fully support this!

 

[BreathingAcid]

Your story is interesting.. your plot I mean! If this will be a campaign or a project map of yours, I will fully support this!

Thanks! As a matter of fact, yes. It's a plot for my next project. Thank you again for the support.

 

[DZerpic]

Nice plot! Reminds me a bit of "Planescape: Torment".
Very nice presentation too!

Keep it up!

 

[Codric]

Nice story, presentation.
Good Job I support you!

 

[indomitable1319]

Nice plot! Reminds me a bit of "Planescape: Torment".
Very nice presentation too!

Keep it up!

I think it was Brownscape? By RDZ, yeah?

 

[DZerpic]

I think it was Brownscape? By RDZ, yeah?

Brownscape is mod that looks like it was based off Planescape. I actually never heard of it.

Planescape: Torment is a 90's RPG very grim and dark. Wiki link

This I played a bit a couple years ago. But I didn't have much time and couldn't play it consistently. But if you haven't played you should try it out, it's pretty good!

 

[Edhel-dur]

Sounds good, but does it fit the game genre?

For example, D3 has a really lengthy story, told in many cut-scenes, but personally I believe it's not a good idea for the genre, because it's a HnS or an ARPG where you just want to kill stuff, not listen to long, detailed stories, no matter how cool they are. So even tho stories might be weaker, D2 and TL2 ones fit better the genre. But that's if it's an ARPG.

But if it's a regular RPG, along the lines of KOTOR or Skyrim, than yeah sure, I guess it's more appropriate.

Description is pretty good.

The entire presentation is pretty good, certainly gives a seed of unknown waiting to be explored. Aside from that, I can't say that a spooky forest, a memory loss, an old man and a mysterious 'archivist' intrigue me, but I suppose it's more about taste here.

Anyway, let's see what comes next.

 

[BreathingAcid]

Sounds good, but does it fit the game genre?

For example, D3 has a really lengthy story, told in many cut-scenes, but personally I believe it's not a good idea for the genre, because it's a HnS or an ARPG where you just want to kill stuff, not listen to long, detailed stories, no matter how cool they are. So even tho stories might be weaker, D2 and TL2 ones fit better the genre. But that's if it's an ARPG.

But if it's a regular RPG, along the lines of KOTOR or Skyrim, than yeah sure, I guess it's more appropriate.

Description is pretty good.

The entire presentation is pretty good, certainly gives a seed of unknown waiting to be explored. Aside from that, I can't say that a spooky forest, a memory loss, an old man and a mysterious 'archivist' intrigue me, but I suppose it's more about taste here.

Anyway, let's see what comes next.

Thanks for the comment! I really appreciate informative ones.

Well, It could either be a campaign or still a multi-player map.

Let's just say there will be twists and turns that hopefully would be interesting to all readers.

 

[Edhel-dur]

Well, I'd just play a game which is of the same genre as what you want to make, and is also known to have a good story.

I did some stories for different projects, and it's something I came to realize that, good stories just have to fit the genre they are in.

 

[sonofjay]

HA! A Filipino with a good grammar! Sounds really interesting and same with the presentation.

I think you should go for singleplayer rpg or campaign, its easier that way and beside its hard to get a full house for a multiplayer maps this days.

 

[Cozythrias]

Good work, keep the story coming. As far as the story goes for the length of the game the story should be detailed yet brief.

This would certainly fit a solo rpg or a multiplayer rpg.

Good job, keep it up!

 

[BreathingAcid]

Good work, keep the story coming. As far as the story goes for the length of the game the story should be detailed yet brief.

This would certainly fit a solo rpg or a multiplayer rpg.

Good job, keep it up!

LOL, your account's alive. I'll just update you on this then.

EDIT: You still up for the 2D arts and stuff?

 

[Edhel-dur]

EDIT: You still up for the 2D arts and stuff?

ProTIP: Terraining is the biggest problem for a project, especially RPGs. Get terrain done, and than worry about custom 2D, 3D things.

 

[BreathingAcid]

I know. He's an old friend of mine and he did the 2D for my last project.

 

[Forsaken]

sounds very interesting.

 

[Malefic]

Well done ! +rep

From my point of view that old man is a Dwarf .
Correct ?
OT: Nice job , story look bit Darkish , keep writing in that style .

 

[BreathingAcid]

sounds very interesting.

Thanks.

From my point of view that old man is a Dwarf .
Correct ?
OT: Nice job , story look bit Darkish , keep writing in that style .

Haha. Maybe? Or he may also be a viking, a lepricon, w/e fits the accent. lol.

Thank you too.

 

[Malefic]

Thanks.



Haha. Maybe? Or he may also be a viking, a lepricon, w/e fits the accent. lol.

Thank you too.

Beard is a must for that old man !
Maybe you can make him one-eyed ?

 

[BreathingAcid]

With the accent he's imposing, I think most of the readers imagined him having a beard. lol.

 

[HOooDy]

Your Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy ) I'm Preety scared with you man and that name "Hell Breed".

 

[BreathingAcid]

Your Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy ) I'm Preety scared with you man and that name "Hell Breed".

I'm not creepy in real life though. I just have that kind of "persona" over the internet. lol.

EDIT: And that is way off-topic.