supermj's short story

[Supermj]

Well, I originally make this for school, but after getting a 5/5, I decided to see what y'all think! It was intended to use works with my latin/greek roots, and how did it turn out?

[this is an indent]It was a dark and murky night. With great force a chasm was pulled apart from the turf, and out of the abyss emerged a sanguivorous crypt fiend (large spider). As the beast walked the boulevard, every mortal fled, driven completely by mortaphobia. With all the arachnophobia in the air, how could any man manage? Just before the arachnid was able to commit genocide of mass proportions, a sympathetic group of goblins burst up and tackled the fiend. Instantly immortal demons opened a portal to earth. On top of the cathedral, some gargoyles came to liveliness and chased off the demons. And little Timmy burst up awake in bed drenched with sweat. What good that scary movie he watched did him!

 

[Shaynne]

Wow... that rocks

 

[Undead_Lives]

It's not a story. It's a short description of a nightmare.
Story has beginning, middle, end. This has just...what it is.

I'd give it a 1/5 cause you called it a story, but if not, 3/5. There's no flow with your sentences.

 

[Supermj]

Yes, you can tell I threw it together at 11 oclock just trying to get my homework done. It was all fine though. I got a 1/1!!!

 

[iron_warrior]

I think your teacher is far too leniant in her marking.