Stone of Arynth (SOA)

[ModCraft]

Some of you may have noticed the project in the 'request for help' area, Now, I'd like to start releasing certain bits,starting with the prologue and getting honest criticism, what you disliked, what you liked, needs improvement, such and such.

So far, the campaign will include many new races and improvements to the normal races,

Human Race (Defenders of the world)
A whole new concept of the undead race, controlled by a dark force
Dragon race (Dragon race, pretty epic )
and, well, an overall evil forces race, includes dark summoners, powerful beasts, epic bosses. (I know everyone says that, but really)





The prologue, and the credits are attached to this post.

Please note-The prologue is far from being done. Rough draft, just want to know what you all think.


Thanks again! I know this wasn't much of a post, I'll edit it with everything that should be in here .

story and details-here
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/f256/stone-arynth-help-needed-89124/


Updated prologue:

Updates (Fixes)

-Fixed wait times so the dialouge isn't quite as fast.
--Gave mountain a name
--Corrected a few grammar issues and improved dialogue slightly.
--Gave temp loading screen
--deleted the other chapters so you aren't inclined to click them =D
---Improved the orginal post to show more of the features 4/13/2009
--4/14/2009 change log-
Corrected a few more grammar typos.
--Changed the guardians from death animation to spell channel during the summoning.
4/17/2009
-Added a third kodo, dead.
-Added small opening at the begining of the prologue introducing the story.
-After six hours lmao, I figured out how to slowmotion Bukuma.
-Moved the guards to a more suitable area I believe.
Changed the opening loading screen.
Ended the map

4-22-2009
-Added loading screen and added icons to a bunch of heroes.
-Fixed the camera so it doesn't swing into the water.

4-23-2009
Added a custom loading screen to the Prologue.
Fixed where the camera was way too low, and fixed it so it doesn't go into the mountain. Pure epic.

Updated story-

The Story

Campaign is focused around a young man, Jeff Alkore, whose blood line runs back to the Dragon Lord Thain who had many powers including the ability to talk to the dragons.

----More about the history of the world:
Ages ago, the world was different, when dwarfs, elves, humans, and other races all existed together in a form of peace. The mighty dragons, aware that they were too powerful to be around the races who was corrupted with their greed, want for expansion, and their overall lust for power, hid themselves among the mountains and plains away from the cities.

One night in winter, a far seer cam upon a small city to a man named Jerico. The Seer told Jerico about his pregnant wife, that they would give birth to a baby boy, and his name would be Thain Adorn, and a great magic would be awoken, triggered by the birth of this boy. Jerico rushed the Seer away, and burrowed himself into his drunken state, dismissing the Seers words.

Two months later, as spring was emearging, Jerico's wife gave birth to a baby boy. Jerico remembered the words of the Seer, and dismissed the story of magic, but was impressed that the Seer was right about them having a baby boy, so named him Thain Adorn.

Many years later, the world was a much different place. Thain was the first male in existence who could speak to dragons. He could make the sky burst into flames, and the heavens rain lighting.

Thain found many men like him all across the world, but none were as strong as he was. None with the abilities, those who tried to copy him would be overcome with the power and either drove mad or burst into flames. The mighty dragon race stood beside these men and Thain, and thus the name Dragon Lord was given, and Thain's men were given the name Dragon Tamers.

But the dragons kept an eye on them, for after all, they were still human, and the same principles applied to them. The might dragons, were afraid....

Thain found one man, who was very strong with the powers. Thain took him as his right hand man, and he tried to teach his disciple how to control the magics. But one day, the young disciple, Baldure, turned on Thain and his men. Baldure knew he had the powers, that HE should be the Dragon Lord, not Thain.

Baldure killed many Tamers, and many dragons fell. The Dragons were bound to their Tamers, they would never desert their Tamers, no matter what. Baldure killed many, until Thain finally locked Baldure away, because he did not have the heart to kill him.

It came to Thains attention that thirteen of the strongest Tamers had helped Baldure, and so Thain attempted to lock all of them away, but three escaped, into hiding knowing they could not defeat the Dragon Lord.


The battle between Thain and Baldure was so fierce, that the magic was completely stripped away from the lands. The dragons, after being released from the Dragon Lord and Tamer, flew off in sparse numbers, back into hiding.

Thain searched for many years, trying to find a place where the magic still thrived, until a very old Seer came upon him. The Seer took Thain to the side, and told him of a time when magic would come again, and Baldure would come back to take his place among the Gods. The Seer advised that Thain would be there for this time, but would aid a young man, the next Dragon Lord in line.

When the Seer turned to walk away, Thain fell to his knees and asked who the Seer was. The Seer smiled and announced that his name was Mohashion.

Credits

Azure Dragon Elementalist
By General Frank

DraconianSpearThrower
By General Frank

DraconianZealot
By General Frank

Fire Dragon Fire Phalanx
By General Frank

Dragoon.blp
By 13LUR

slannesh2
by RightField

King
By Tranquil

KotoBeastTower
by Ket

WarMage
by armel

Plated Footman
Unknown

RPGHeroVillager
By RPG Villager



--------------
evil
AncientOfStome
By Seung-Bum, Lee(Korean)

Behemot Rider (by Callahan)
By Callahan

ChaosCitadel
By HappyTauren

DarkProphet
By b17rider

DOOMBEAST
By Sephiroth_VII

Teron Gorefiend
by Necrokenis

Brutal Lord
by jigrael


Demon Knight
jigrael


Nerubian Slayer
jigrael

Draconian Warmage
By General Frank

FelOrcLancer
Unknown

KingArthas
By General Frank


Mage of the Damned
By olofmoleman

NecroStronghold
By HappyTauren

Power Lich
By HappyTauren

Skeleton Fire Warior Mage
By HappyTauren

Skeleton King
By donut3.5




Thank you to everyones models I used, This list is FAR from complete, only for the current version of the campaign. =)

Arynth aka Modcraft.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

You should at least mention what is the kind of map it is Or give the link for the thread you mentioned in the first line.

 

[ModCraft]

Corrected, sorry about that! It's late lol.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

SOA
1.....I can see all 4 maps of the campaign. Have you done that for testing or forgot to hide them? Make that only first map is visible for choosing if you forgot.

Prologue
1.....Some more description on the loading screen
2.....The loading screen is black. After the loading is complete then it is white which is blinking. Why?
3.....You have custom models. I hope that you also have their authors' name. It is must if
you think about submitting this campaign.
4.....The dialogues are bit fast.
5.....The first message is "in the icy peaks of (mountain)..." why are brackets used here?
6.....The 2 guards die?
7.....You are trying to picture what race? Undead or something else?
8.....The animations of summoning of the master needs improvements. They are not coinciding by the current camera angle.
9.....Few typo.
10......The last dialogue needs improvement. The dialogue goes too long.
11......Now the dialogue has ended when does the cinematic end? I waited for some time but it did not end & the second map did not start so I had to exit the game & then start the first chapter.

All the other 3 maps cannot be loaded. They are corrupt.

 

[ModCraft]

I took them out of the campaign, they shouldn't have worked, which is good, but it does need some work. It's a completely different race, but I have the time to write it now:

The prologue starts off as (The main jist)

Up in the mountains, (I was drawing a blank for mountain name, I know that looks horrible. But the Necro and Aeori are bringing back Bukuma, a servant to the dark dragon Lord Baldure.

In all, there was seven followers, Aeori and Bukuma being the main leaders of the seven. They do not yet have the magic to bring back their lord Baldure, who has been imprisoned ages ago, I'll go into detail later in the story .

The stone, being the Stone of Arynth. They need the powers from the Stone of Arynth to bring back Baldure, that's why it's a huge part of the story.


This is an extremely rough draft, I had some questions though of my own:

6.....The 2 guards die?
Response- I was thinking maybe it would show the magic was strong, maybe I overplayed it some, any suggestions what to do here?


7.....You are trying to picture what race? Undead or something else?

Theres four or five new races in all, there is a semi half undead race, a Dragon Race. The Human defenders race,


3.....You have custom models. I hope that you also have their authors' name. It is must if
you think about submitting this campaign.

Credits are awarded so far in the first post, I am still working on the credits list but All the ones I used in the prologue are there.


10......The last dialogue needs improvement. The dialogue goes too long.

In my opinion, all dialogue needs improving. Does need some work, I'll admit but it does give a rough draft.


11......Now the dialogue has ended when does the cinematic end? I waited for some time but it did not end & the second map did not start so I had to exit the game & then start the first chapter.

I don't have the trigger set yet to finish the map, and I didn't bother changing the buttons so you couldn't try and load the other maps, sorry, The other maps in that version of the campaign do not work.



2.....The loading screen is black. After the loading is complete then it is white which is blinking. Why?

Was a custom loading screen that went wrong I'm assuming.



Few typos-

I might have missed a few, I've been working on it by myself for about two months now, I'll fix these (or try to) and reupload, thank you!


I did have one other question, would you recomend changing the camera, or the 'summoning'?

8.....The animations of summoning of the master needs improvements. They are not coinciding by the current camera angle.



Updated original post with updated prologue and fixes log.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

6.....The 2 guards die?
Response- I was thinking maybe it would show the magic was strong, maybe I overplayed it some, any suggestions what to do here?

Some sparks in all directions to show that so much magic was coming that the guards being weak could not handle that.

3.....You have custom models. I hope that you also have their authors' name. It is must if you think about submitting this campaign.

Credits are awarded so far in the first post, I am still working on the credits list but All the ones I used in the prologue are there.

It is good that you are giving credits. I suggest that when you submit the campaign place them in the quest menu.

I did have one other question, would you recomend changing the camera, or the 'summoning'?

I will think about that.

One more thing. Try to keep the map file size as small as you can.

 

[The_wand_mirror]

SOA means STD in dutch.

 

[ModCraft]

Really lmao, Guess we won't be calling it SOA, eh?

 

[The_wand_mirror]

Well i have no problem with it being called SOA for short but it's also pretty funny ^^

Sure people on battle.net will notice...

 

[ModCraft]

Well, thankfully it won't be on battle.net but I don't want people thinking it's an std before it even comes out .

Did you play it by any chance wand? It's short, maybe five minutes long max.

 

[ModCraft]

Updated story log, change log, and added new version of prologue after fixes were made.


The second map I believe is close to being done, I'm in the process of tweaking it, but I may also trash it and start all over with the map .


Anyone have any suggestions, anything at all with the prologue, please post them here and let me know.


Thanks!

 

[Zelda.Alex]

1......"Dragon lord swept the world into magic & turmoil"---(My English is not the very good.) Do you think the use of magic gives the clear message?
2......"Ontop of the icy mountain top"---Same as 1. Also it should be "On top"
3......Why does the camera face the waterfall?
4......When the camera faces the gate to the summoning place, the camera goes inside water. There was something odd in that camera angle.
5......When the camera includes the 2 people & the 2 guards then the guard on the right side is not visible properly. You need to change his placement.
6......When the portal is opening then there is some energy going up. The energy needs to be shifted a little left so that it coincides with the portal opening.
7......The movement of Master out of the portal if done in slow motion may appear better. The present one is quite abrupt & does not look too good.
8......Bakuma says "...awoken too" spelling mistake.
9......Bakuma says "You have lost......"---Lost? They are unsure about its whereabouts or they lost?
10.......The cinematic does not end. But maybe it is just that you haven't taken care of that particular thing till now.

 

[ModCraft]

I corrected some things, and I will correct more, but there was not one thing you liked about the whole thing?

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I corrected some things, and I will correct more, but there was not one thing you liked about the whole thing?

Explain Please. I did not get this.

 

[ModCraft]

You listed all the things you didn't like, was there anything you liked about the prologue?

 

[Zelda.Alex]

You listed all the things you didn't like, was there anything you liked about the prologue?

I thought that you wanted to know what has to be improved so I had just listed the things that needs work.
Of course I liked the Prologue. The models are nice. The story is good. Creating a new race for the campaign will be really good.
Sorry that I created the impression that I only disliked the Prologue. I was a little confused.

 

[ModCraft]

Of course I'd like to know, there will be five new races so far, and if there was something you disliked of course let me know, just making sure it wasn't boring .

 

[Zelda.Alex]

It is my habit that when I comment on a map then I give constructive criticism only so that I get an improved version. If it were that boring or bad I will simply tell do not worry.

 

[ModCraft]

Lmao, alright, I'll try and fix some of the things you listed and I'll reply back when they are fixed . Thanks

 

[ModCraft]

7......The movement of Master out of the portal if done in slow motion may appear better. The present one is quite abrupt & does not look too good.

Does anyone know how to make something move slower like that? I agree, It is abrupt, and maybe make it slower would work better, any ideas?


5......When the camera includes the 2 people & the 2 guards then the guard on the right side is not visible properly. You need to change his placement.
fixed


3......Why does the camera face the waterfall?
I'm going to add some particles into it to make it seem darker.



6......When the portal is opening then there is some energy going up. The energy needs to be shifted a little left so that it coincides with the portal opening.

corrected.


I'll see what I can do for the rest and will reply back when changes have been made.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

7......The movement of Master out of the portal if done in slow motion may appear better. The present one is quite abrupt & does not look too good.

Does anyone know how to make something move slower like that? I agree, It is abrupt, and maybe make it slower would work better, any ideas?

For help with cinematic it is best to ask here . Ask about camera angles, slowing things anything. I am sure you will be answered.

 

[ModCraft]

Ok, SOME updates have been made, check the update log on the first post to see what all was changed. I can't perfect the bukuma summoning in slow motion though, I got the right triggers but it just won't work perfectly.

Download is in the first post for the Stone of Arynth.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I can suggest just 3 things this time.
>A better loading screen
>The file size has reached 7.33 MB. Try that the size does not get too much high.

4......When the camera faces the gate to the summoning place, the camera goes inside water. There was something odd in that camera angle.

I think I need to explain this. I had meant then that the camera was too low that time giving the camera angle seem to be from under the water.

 

[ModCraft]

That's most of the imported models that I've used, I know that models don't make the map, but I have the idea of what they're to look like, this is a single player campaign so hopefully filesize isn't a problem.

I will deff get a better loading screen, I'll request one tonight hopefully.

And for the water one, I hate to ask but could you take a screen shot? I spent six hours looking over it trying to figure out what the deal was .


Zelda, since you seem to be pretty into this, could I interest you in being a beta tester? You've helped quite a bit so far. Whattya think?

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I am not sure about the testing. But as long as I am here & can test I will do that.

You see that the camera is inside the water.

 

[ModCraft]

Fixed a few minor bugs with the prologue, I think that's all it needed, could be wrong though . Also added a custom loading screen to the campaign loading screen.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

>Really great campaign screen. Hope you get some good custom loading screen too.

Camera Problem

>

The camera passes through the mountain.

>Also you need to increase the height of the camera in the last image. The camera is still low.
>Just thought of one thing. How about the skeletons facing towards the portal?

 

[ModCraft]

Corrected BOTH final issues that Zelda had . I'm excited about that one. Check change log and download the most recent update on the first page. Coming along nicely.

That is so weird, I've been working on fixing that it just wont.

The skeletons, I moved them that way both would be in the picture, they're right next to the portal now I believe. Let me see if I can't lift the camera some, as far as the last image, what last image? The last scene?

 

[RoughneckLeader]

To help stop double posting, you can just post your new post with a quote of the old one and delete the old one.

EDIT: Use it for bumping as well.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

I was referring to the image in post#25. The camera was still low.
Downloading the update

EDIT:
>The camera is no longer low. It is looking good now.
>Good choice of loading screen.
>Instead of Bukuma the portal was talking. Bukuma never came out of the portal.
>I forgot to mention this last time. Why does the camera go away so fastly outside after Bukuma done talking?

Also if you need more opinion on any cinematic then you should refer to Cinematic section. Many people do not wish to give feedback on cinematic in the map development section.

 

[Yearight]

Hello again.

I can start working on the cinematic as it isn't very good. I can improve the terrain aswell for straters. Then we can move on to the bigger stuff.

 

[ModCraft]

Great, yahoo msn or aim?

 

[Airandius]

Really, change the name or something. SOA is wrong.

Quoted from dutch wikipedia:

Een seksueel overdraagbare aandoening (soa), is een ziekte die vooral wordt overgedragen door seksueel contact (gewoonlijk geslachtsgemeenschap, orale seks of anale seks).

Translated it means:

A sexually transmissible disorder (soa), is a sickness which is especially transferred by sexual contact (usually line community, oral sex or anal sex).

So yeh, that's sick. Other then that, I hope that your map wont die like most maps do.
Good luck.

 

[ModCraft]

ROFL you went outta your way to get that . Stone of Arynth I can't change that but atlesat it attracts the dutch .

 

[Airandius]

Remove SOA and use the full name then. When I think about your map now, I'm afraid it will "infect' my computer lol. You get what I mean. =D

 

[ModCraft]

How do I change the title

 

[Airandius]

How do I change the title

Ask for a mod to do it. Tell what soa means and that it's rather... well you know. Offending for certain people or just sick.

Though the game sounds nice, even with it's rather weird name. xD
My maps don't have good names either though.

 

[Yearight]

Just don't use SoA as a name for it ;P And we can use msn.

 

[ModCraft]

Whats your msn? And if a Mod sees this, can ya change it to Stone of Arynth without the SOA?

 

[Yearight]

I already think you got it. [email protected]