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Noob Guide

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Level 6
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
189
Welcome, this is my guide to the species of 'Noob'
I will tell you the known facts about noobs, and what they do for a living.


Pupa: During the Pupa stage 'noobs' are much like other human beings, until they are exposed to certain websites and/or forums were they feel the sudden urge to 'Flame' or 'Spam'. Over a period of a month or so, the 'noobs' bodys mature on the outside (not the inside) allowing them to become a 'noob'.


Noob: The middle stage of a 'noobs' life is called a 'noob' when they reach this stage, they will sometimes also be referred to as:
Nooblar
Noobie
NOB
Nooblet
Nooby
During the 'noobs middle stage of life they are assigned a certain forum to infest, they enter the forums of a certain site and feast on its post and/or threads. Noobs post useless threads which later lets them realise that they can use 'noob language'.


Noob Language: Whilst noob language is not a stage of the noob life, it is learned early on and gives the noobs the feeling that they can talk 'maturely'. Some examples of noob words are:
N00b
Ph@gg3t
R0fL
L073r
L337
0MfG
The noobs later learn how to put these into sentences such as: '0MfG y0u N00b I aM L337' Now onto the last and final stage of a noobs life.


Noob Emporer: A noob emporer is rarely found throughout the world, they are the master of the noob underworld, they have mastered the noob language and they can manipulate your every move, noob emporers have reincarnation so they are hard to get rid of. Noob emporers are more mischeivous than 5 noobs, noob emporers talk like a noob all the time, meaning: 'I aM D@ C00l3st and dA L3373st'
Noob emporers also infest every post, every forum, every thread, with useless posts such as: 'Th@T's StuP1D'.
 
Level 9
Joined
Jan 13, 2005
Messages
553
Good essays :D Btw, I prefer trolls than noobs coz it is really hard to become a succesful troll than a noob. What I mean to say is you cannot simply post a topic and that topic will earn 1000 or 500 posts. Only a skilled troll can achieve this...lol :D
 
Level 2
Joined
Apr 15, 2005
Messages
29
1337
h4x
wordz like dem r also known as 'leetspeak' i googled it

OMFG and ROFL n LOL
i dunt believe they r 'noob' words
they r universal arnt they?
 
Level 16
Joined
Sep 3, 2004
Messages
2,086
You dear sir, seem to be one of them.

You forgot reproduction:

Reproduction: Noobs, like viruses, are a huge pestilence to online society, often using vulgar and explicit language combined with a horrific lack of grammatical skill. Newcomers that join this society may be inflicted with the essence of these cretin, and slowly begin to mutate into noobs, usually without a larval stage. In most cases, this rarely happens, because the larval stage gives a noob the ability to withstand a horrid amount of pesticides, or flames and warnings, which in fact drive these pseudonoobs away from this society. However, lost members of society are bad, because every being is a veteran awaiting the blessing of knowledge.

If you, or anyone else is suffering from a noob problem, contact the termination operatives, or admins, and they usually will give them a nice demise
 
Level 12
Joined
Jul 2, 2004
Messages
1,248
And what about the moderator field guide? Sure it erupted into war with the RightField. Unfortunately they couldn't scratch him one bit (except GreyArchon) ;)
 
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