I'm loving the whole idea so far. The execution, on the other hand......not really on par with the story behind it.
Right now, it is really lit outside and the torch doesn't really make sense.
You really need to work on your tinting values just about everywhere in this piece.
I think that what you need here is a darker setting, something like the Dalaran Ruins DNC light. Afterwards, you can play around with light models, placing them near the torch, light sources and couple them with a few glow models tinted at different values and scaled accordingly.
The fog is not really THAT bad, it just needs a slightly lower tinting value and a bit further out so that we can see the ship slightly better.
Last but not least, the girl model is kinda lacking (might I say bothersome and unrealistically monochrone?). You could either find a better model or play around with the tints and position plus camera angle to see what fits best for it.
...and I think that's everything wrapped up in a short post. :^]