Justinius distress - the fifth element

[XS-Archangel]

Justinius distress - the fifth element


History of an item


Ages ago, when ancient races were in war, there were five elements. Water, fire, earth and air are known to us. But we don't know that fifth element, from ancient times.
After so many years in war state, when all forgot how it began, rumor had started. Draenai citizens were talking about the Fifth element, the artifact which is old as the Realm. Many said that leader Velen has it but it was just rumors. If he had it, he would end the War, because the Fifth Element gives great power to its carrier.
One day, the famous and fearless draenei paladin Justinius the Harbinger got the quest from Velen's spirit. The spirit told him that he had a vision about one brave warrior who will find an object of their redemption and enemy's havoc. He told him that he is that brave warrior, that he will find so called he Fifth Element. After spirit's appearing, Justinius was frighten for the first in his life.
After many years of searching he found it in one cave beneath the Dragon's wing. Justinius killed the Dragon and he saw one orb. He took it and enormous power passed through him.
He was the leader of Draenei army and he went to defeat an opposite army. He conquered the capital of the enemies, and they have to sign peace treaty. All that thanks to the powerful orb - the Fifth element. However that orb has consequences. It drains a life from its carrier. And that was the reason of Justinius overhasty death. He was an old when he should be a youth. His soldiers saw what that Orb done to him so they decided to burrow it on place where nobody can't find it. Many generations have passed, many forgot how that orb looked like, but all know that their brave hero was a holder of that orb... that Fifth Element... that Justinius Distress.


story by XS-Archangel

 

[splashy5]

..........so what is it?

 

[XS-Archangel]

it was a story for an item which will probably be in one of the map.

 

[The_wand_mirror]

woohoo very interesting..

 

[I)eadnerzhul]

My only problem is that you spelled "Draenei" wrong, in addition to some grammatical errors and... "Justinius the Harbinger got the QUEST from Velen's spirit"? Don't you think it sounds a little too... strange, like MMO esque? And you keep using "he" at the begining of each sentence. Repetition (unless it's in a poem) is not very interesting in most stories. Try to variate it with different nouns begining with "the" (the Draenei, the Paladin, etc.). This will improve overall quality of the story. Good luck on further writings!

 

[XS-Archangel]

thx. well I wrote this for some item description for our map (dday:judgement) and I've just copy paste first version of it

 

[Teh_Ephy]

Just so you know, the fifth element (in sequences that include the traditional four western ones; fire, earth, water, air) is either spirit, aether (ether), or in the case of Japan, void.

Grammar etc. aside, it's certainly interesting enough to be the history of an item.

 

[I)eadnerzhul]

Although it's pretty long for a description. And unless it's going into an RPG or something, it wouldn't be read. Of course, you could just leave it here... but then again, why would you?

 

[XS-Archangel]

I have no idea

 

[ady_illidan]

so long item descriptions don't match with an AoS like DDay

 

[XS-Archangel]

I know ... We don't even put such kind of description in dday... but I like to write stories

 

[ady_illidan]

it would be nice to put some descriptions like this to the heroes