Chain Letters.

[Pyritie]

As much as we all hate chain letters, there are a few good ones once in a (very rare) while.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Anyone else found any good ones?

 

[TheDivineBoss]

Uh.. Like this?

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you?
Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullsh*t.

So basically, this message is a big F*CK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

F*ck them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and an amazing wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't f*cking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:


(scroll down)













Make a wish!!!





















No, really, go on and make one!!!
























Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!




















Not that, you pervert!!





















Is your finger getting tired yet?




















STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun?

Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile
of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!

Really!!!

Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Google -> Chain letters

 

[Pyritie]

It was only a matter of time before someone ranted.

 

[TheDivineBoss]

Chain Letter Type 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of sh*t, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of *ssholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
* no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.

Lolzors.........

 

[Pyritie]

I liked the other one better.

 

[GST_Nemisis]

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.

genius, truly great.

 

[DarkDenizen]

I saw the first one on bash a while ago. So funny. The most recent one worthy of sharing was something like this (I deleted it, so I'm not sure of the exact wording):

Hello. I am a 6 year old red head with green eyes. If you do not forward this message to at least 5 people, in 13 days I will come into your bed, with a knife, and PLAY WITH YOU!!!!!!

Rather disturbing. I wonder who thought that one up.

 

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

Someone with little imagination.

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

extreme virginity

Whoa, EXTREME VIRGINITY!!!! It's like normal virginity, only EXTREME!!! Who says not having sex means you can't get any action!? Watch porn on a HALF PIPE!! Spend your me time SURF BOARDING!! There's more than one way to wrestle on a bed!

Oh, right, on topic.
Chain Video
Grr.. can't make heads or tails of the youtube tags..

 

[robot-dude]

I've had some but i mostly delete them because mostly they are like

e.g.

"If you do not resend this email with in 5minutes to 500 people you will die in the next hour"


and that video made me laugh, and so fake, and they could of at least edited the video >.> or shown a clip of a person getting ran down by an elephant..

 

[TheDivineBoss]

Chain letters are just stupid, I delete them too. So gay are they. (rymes)

 

[robot-dude]

Here's one of a site:

Hawaiian Good Luck Totem



Hawaiian GOOD LUCK TOTEM

This totem has been sent to you for good luck. It has been sent
around the world ten times so far.

You will receive good luck within four days of relaying this
totem.
Send copies to people you think need good luck. >
Don't send money as fate has no price. Do not keep this message.
The totem must leave your hands in 96 hours.

Send ten copies and see what happens in four days. You will get a
surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

Good luck, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must
leave your hands in 96 hours...

 

[LiOneSS]

This chain letters remind me of people who write in their signatures something like:
"If you don't rep me, a baby seal dies..." or something like that!
Oh I just hate this!

 

[HeretoDLstuff]

This chain letters remind me of people who write in their signatures something like:
"If you don't rep me, a baby seal dies..." or something like that!
Oh I just hate this!

*whistles as if He has done nothing*


At first I didnt get what you ment by chain letters...

Ive never gotten or seen one of these but ive heard of them...

 

[robot-dude]

I might check my old msn account and see if i got any.

Edit:// lol my old email account for msn got restarted in emails .


One of my myspace "Bulletin"

One my cuzion posted (She's from ireland)

YOU HAVE 90 MINUTES TO REPOST THIS IF YOU DONT YOU WILL BE SINGLE FOR 8 YEARS JUST PICK THE MONTH OF YOUR BIRTHDAY REMEMBER IF YOU BREAK THIS CHAIN YOU WILL BE LONLEY FOR 16 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JANUARY -SEX ON THE BEACH
FEBRUARY -SEX ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD
MARCH -SEX 24/7
APRIL -SEX ON AN AIRPLANE
MAY - SEX IN THE MOVIES
JUNE -SEX IN A CAR
JULY -SEX ON THE WASHING MACHINE
AUGUST -SEX IN SCHOOL
SEPTEMBER -SEX IN THE SHOWER
OCTOBER -SEX ON THE GRASS
NOVEMBER -SEX IN THE POOL
DECEMBER-SEX ANYWHERE

I reposted with the "Title" - "JULY -SEX ON THE WASHING MACHINE"

 

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

That's not funny...

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

JUST PICK THE MONTH OF YOUR BIRTHDAY

Wow, you can do that?

 

[donut3.5]

Wow, you can do that?

You're going to have to remember, its quite a feat for the average myspacer.
--donut3.5--