Sad to see you leave, and I see you said
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a bad map maker so the hive wont loose an important cog anyway
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Your not a bad map maker, you are much better than most of the new people who start here. Also I was much worse than you. My first map I released in here I just came on, and released a map within 10 minutes of registration. Worst way to start mapping career.
I always thought my maps were crap, and that is the main reason I stopped remaking my ORPG. Although I have always thought this same feeling as you, I had a friend at school that would share our love for warcraft 3 maps, like Teve, and make maps to please that person. Don't think about anyone else, because then you will be much more relaxed, cause I can tell by your post your stressed about wasting time on something you will leave soon or later.
So if you do come back my idea for you is; To find a friend on here (You already have a lot by the looks) and find an interest. This could be in real life, find a friend real life that likes games, and you can make maps with/for him/her.
Anyway, I hope you don't leave, but if you do;
Best of luck with your future endeavors