Worst SC2 comedy lines competition

[Edhel-dur]

Arcturus: "Remember mister Findlay, you are to make regular reports to me. I gave you a last chance to serve the Dominion. Fail me, and your existence will end in agony. That armor is your new cell, and never forget, you are one button away from death..."

Tychus: "Hell it's about time. Er I mean, I shall not forget it, Sir."



Tychus: "What did the Möbius say again? Something about staying in the suit right? Anyway, go find Jimmy, and kill Dominion guys to steal an artefact and make MONEY!"



Arcturus: "Mister Findlay, is everything going well? Is there anything you've learned about Raynor's plans?"

Tychus: "Nope. We don't know that the Odin is on Valhala, we aren't stealing it, and I'm not going to use it."

Arcturus: "Hm. Let me know if you learn Raynor's next move. It shouldn't be long before you find an opportunity to serve me."

Tychus: "Yes sir. Your humble servant sir. Now excuse me, I'm currently playing with a Big Dog and having a little fun."

Arcturus: "Never forget, mister Findlay, I am watching you..."

Tychus: The artifacts down there are guarded by the Tal'Darim. Now don't go thinking these are your old Protoss buddies.. cos they aint.

Raynor: How do you know about my Protoss buddies, werent you in prison?

Tychus: We had T.V

Raynor: They sure look like my protoss buddies.

Tychus: Dude, havent you read the books?

Raynor: I cant read dude.

Tychus: Neither can I.

Horner: I can

Raynor/Tychus: Shutup

Horner: ...

Tychus: Well, theyre in the way and we need that artifact

Raynor: Just hold a sec...

Raynor broadcasts to Tal`Darim

Raynor: En twaylo Tassadar homeys!

Horner: *facepalm*

(Horner and Raynor on the Hyperion bridge)



Horner: You've been in the labs for many hours sir. What is going on?

Raynor: Trough the crystal, I saw what Zeratul saw.

Horner: And what did Zeratul see?

Raynor: He saw what Tassadar saw.

Horner: And what did Tassadar see?

Raynor: He saw what Overmind saw.

Horner: No more booze for you!

Original thread and many more comedy lines here !

 

[Statharas]

Meh.

Kerrigan: I am the queen bitch of the universe.
Tychus, Raynor and horner nod.