[Cinematic] The peasant part 4

[Amigurumi]

Hi there, I need your help, and your ideas for improvement!

Currently, I'm working on my fourth part of The Peasant.
(If you don't know the other three -> Part 1; Part 2; Part 3)

I haven't finished it, and maybe you can give me suggestions.
For example helping me to correct my english grammar ( )
I didn't add credits, atm, but I'll do this, when I release it. (Or should I add the credits for this version?)
I know, the triggers are horrible, and I'm not going to change that, because thats my style

When you watched it, please comment, and help me to improve it

\\Edit: I have forgot to mention, that the cinematic finishs atm at the scene with the animal heads

 

[UreDe4D]

okay, i didnt know your cinematics before so i watched all the parts now. first funny thing i noticed is, the your caracter is named "Seli" , thats funny for me cause my real life nickname is also "Seli" , AND if you translate my surname into english, it means "Peasant" ^^
second, i liked them all very much, lots of funny stuff in it.

now the fourth part stops for me when he enters the house and the camera points at one of the heads at the wall, it just doesn't continue :/ but the beginning is quite nice, also funny (especially the "Meanwhile" part ), i didn't notice any mistakes by now

 

[Amigurumi]

but the beginning is quite nice, also funny (especially the "Meanwhile" part ), i didn't notice any mistakes by now

thank you

now the fourth part stops for me when he enters the house and the camera points at one of the heads at the wall, it just doesn't continue :/

yeah, I forget to mention, that the cinematic finishs at this scene, atm...^^

Next, I'm going to make a first person view (in the house), to increase the suspense

first funny thing i noticed is, the your caracter is named "Seli" , thats funny for me cause my real life nickname is also "Seli" , AND if you translate my surname into english, it means "Peasant" ^^

I made, that the name of the peasant is the name of Player 1(Watcher)
lol, funny

 

[UreDe4D]

ah, nice idea with the player name, kinda personalises the cinematic

 

[WraithSeeker]

Very nice cinematic although the poor zombie part was very annoying, wasn't funny.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

>>Good loading screen. A bit correction. It is finds instead of founds.
>>So you decided to place music effects at last. Nice.
>>The Zombie falling time & again that fastly doesn't look nice.
>>I attacked the zombie behind me when he was on the floor but still he went up one time & fell again. You should work on this.
>>It is what's instead of whats
>>"wisest of creatures" or "wisest creature" instead of "wisest creatures"
>>"must have killed" instead of "must had killed"
>>"I have heard something" instead of "I have heard anything"
>>While the ghosts moved the peasant just stood there? Looks odd.
>>There were 4 ghosts present. 2 went inside the statue, 1 became big. what about fourth one? Forgot it?
>>The poor zombie part was not funny. The high amount of green thing was making it difficult to see.
>>See the image. The house downward part looks odd.
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/pastebin.php?id=jagf84
>>After entering the house there are three animal heads shown & their sounds come. What happens after that? The cinematic did not progress any further.

A litttle edit & this gets a 4/5 for sure. 5/5 or not I can tell only after I see the improved version.

This was pretty nice. I also commented on first 3 parts.

 

[Amigurumi]

@ Zelda.Alex: ty for your review
I will try to correct the mistakes.

While the ghosts moved the peasant just stood there? Looks odd.

Yeah, the last ghost should die, to make the leading ghost stronger... I'll remove the fourth ghost

>>The poor zombie part was not funny. The high amount of green thing was making it difficult to see.

ok, I'll make less blood

>>See the image. The house downward part looks odd.

What should I change? An other house model? It's the normal Inn, only rescaled

>>After entering the house there are three animal heads shown & their sounds come. What happens after that? The cinematic did not progress any further.

see my post:

yeah, I forget to mention, that the cinematic finishs at this scene, atm...^^

I also commented on first 3 parts.

okay, the first parts weren't the best, they were one of my first cinematics^^
but thanks for your comment +rep

Edit: okay, changed some things, Zelda.Alex mentioned in his post. For the newer version, look in my first post
In the next time, I don't have enough time to work on it.

 

[Zelda.Alex]

What should I change? An other house model? It's the normal Inn, only rescaled

Try another model. Maybe it may look better. Asking one of model moderators may yield faster result.

 

[Amigurumi]

okay, I found the model of HappyTauren (house model)
I think it looks nice in the dark atmosphere

Now I'm working in the house (first person view).
Maybe someone can tell me some ideas, how to scare people in first person view >:]

 

[Bu113t]

okay, I found the model of HappyTauren (house model)
I think it looks nice in the dark atmosphere

Now I'm working in the house (first person view).
Maybe someone can tell me some ideas, how to scare people in first person view >:]

http://war3.incgamers.com/uploads/10460.Scary_Face.jpg
import and show it!

 

[Amigurumi]

Okay, I finished the cinematic, and it can be found here.
I remove the uploaded map from here.
Thank you for all your help