>visit USA
>sit next to cool guy from india
>get off airplane with light hand luggage
>go through customs behind friendly sikh guy with turban
>All of the TSA officers pull M16's on the sikh guy
>Fire 16 shots into guys chest while screaming 'Murrrica
>I walk through the unattended gate
>a large black woman stops me
>"mmmmm mmmmmmmmm watchoo think YO goin"
>rapes my arse with gloves
>says she was looking for a bottle water that was the wrong size
>leave through narrow hallway of advertisements and people trying to get me to sign up for online university
>go to bus stop
>bus is leaving
>run for bus
>people on mobility scooters turn to me in disgust
>"oh my god he's exercising, somebody call 911"
>block me from running with their mobility scooters
>miss bus
>police arrive, tell me to get down on the ground
>I do as im told, "Im just a tourist, im innocent"
>"he's resisting arrest" they shout, as they taser me and search my bag
>after they find nothing, i offer my passport as ID
>police officer says "whats this?"
>"my passport, for leaving and entering countries"
>"you kidding me? now why would anyone need one of these?!" he said
>officer sprays pepper spray in my eyes and tells me to be on my way
>a mobility scooter rolls just into the road
>officer tickets him for jay-scooting
>go wait for another bus
>people ask why im crying, tell them about the pepper spray
>peppered steak? their eyes light up
>"no, Mace" i say
>"oh". everyone offers me xanax and a variety of pain meds
>take 2, ask if they have some water
>turn to each other like "whats water?"
>"you know, to drink?" I respond
>"oh you mean coca cola" they say
>woman opens bag and takes out bottle of diet cola
>takes out bag of sugar and pours it into the diet cola
>"here drink this,anon"
>swallow xanax with sugar saturated coca cola and board bus
<3
