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Space Wars Story by XxHunterkillerxX

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Part 0: Introduction
Hello again! This is XxHunterkillerxX and the next story. My first story is called Tribe Wars Story. Before you reading this story, I suggest you to read Tribe Wars Story first. Link is here... :wink:
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/f291/tribe-wars-story-xxhunterkillerxx-122173/


Note: This map is not created yet. I will not create this map for a while:hohum:

Part 1: Tribe phase's End
After many battles the last race standing was the Orcs. The orcs is the now surviving intelligent race on the planet and start with the next phase called Civil Phase.
The year is 435 000 and six cities was built on the planet Nebiryu. The world was on peace until a criminal group from one of the cities killed a leader from a city. The people of that city was furious and started war with every city on the planet for killing their leader. The world was on war. Many battles was on for 500 years and now the war is over. The world is at peace now.

Part 2: Zel's death
Finaly when the orcs was about to begin the Space phase they discovered Zel Zufmight's mountain. When some orcs was exploring the mountain Zel attacked the innocent orcs... instantly. The orcs is now war with their creator. In the time of Tribe and Civil Phase they discovered a tallisman called "The anti-god destroyer" that could defeat Zel for sure. And it did. Zel collapsed to the ground and was defeated and the orcs celebrated. They we're ready for the space phase now.

Part 3: Zel's Ressurection and Nebiryu's death
When the orcs lifted their first space ship some event happend. Zel's mountain glows and a star sends up to the space. What happend?
It's Zel. His skin is more different. It's dark-grey and he seems to be furious. What is he gonna do?
He was going into his ship and fire his planet destroyer bomb. The planet splittered apart and Nebiryu was falling apart out through the space.

Orc's blessing and the Space Wars
Lucky great parts of the planet Nebiryu survived and three cities survived the attack. Now the orc swear for a revenge and invade against their god with their resort. Meanwhile the dark legion rebel against Zel Zufmighty because of his reckless actions and a unknown planet is discovered called Valhall-12. The species of that planet is Vir'hal and they call themselfs "The Peacekeepers." How will this end up? It's up to you. Destiny awaits! Tomorrow or never!

7eso_planet_exo1_h2.jpg


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"I am... XxHunterkillerxX, god of the galaxy Osore."
 
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Level 8
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Mar 28, 2009
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Nice story again. Some typo errors (i think you messed up singular with plural). And on one part you wanted to write "were" (plural past tense of be) and instead wrote we're
(= we are).

But that are only some minor facts in this story. Nbah should say same :p
However there is one big minus......The length.

I noticed that on your first story. You put some effort in your stories, but then you suddenly end at the good part. Look at my (really bad) story example of "Silent Grove".
I worked one chapter (compared to yours) into one page.

But hope i don't demotivate you. I apologize. Would be glad to read more of your texts.
 
Level 5
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
72
Nice story again. Some typo errors (i think you messed up singular with plural). And on one part you wanted to write "were" (plural past tense of be) and instead wrote we're
(= we are).

But that are only some minor facts in this story. Nbah should say same :p
However there is one big minus......The length.

I noticed that on your first story. You put some effort in your stories, but then you suddenly end at the good part. Look at my (really bad) story example of "Silent Grove".
I worked one chapter (compared to yours) into one page.

But hope i don't demotivate you. I apologize. Would be glad to read more of your texts.


I know. My grammar sucks but I re-edit the story soon when the map is made. But I will not fix the map on a while.
__________________
l_249c1f7df3484a61b20e20493a88a66a.jpg

"I am... XxHunterkillerxX, god of the galaxy Osore."
 
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