Project: By Sword and Fire Lore

[The_Messenger]

I'm sorry to say that I've decided to cancel the project and also remove what little I've posted about it.

 

[Gottfried]

Let's see, I do not write reviews months ago, but I read so many IGN, Reddit, ImDB, Tvtropes and other movie/tv series/book sites, that my skills are a bit improved. (we see how) (I will write some inside theories and maybe missed points as I did a few times)

In the year 327 following the coronation of King Enelthas II,

Why everyone uses fantasy generator names? :O (just a thought, let's move on)

...the Human Kingdom was prosperous and peaceful. Trade flowed with the Dwarves from the Northern part of the continent, and alliances were being steadily forged with the Elves from the South. Unlike the Dwarves that relied on their ingenuity or the Elves that mastered some of the most destructive sides of magic, the Humans had little to use. They weren't master craftsmen nor were they intelectual prodigies in magic, but for what they lacked they made up with their unbending will. Of course this wasn't enough to protect the kingdom from threats, an army was needed. King Enelthas II founded the building of seven legions of soldiers willing to defend their homes from any threats that should befall them. These legions were green, un-blooded, un-tested.

This is so generic and empty... I mean the elves are superb mages and the dwarves are these northern snowy land dwellers. " They weren't master craftsmen nor were they intelectual prodigies in magic, but for what they lacked they made up with their unbending will. Of course this wasn't enough to protect the kingdom from threats " This is odd, what are they and what this people before the coronation? They don't have army, workers, agriculture? But we know that the humanlands presumably heavily-populated with 18-35 men, what are they doing before they conscripted? What Enelthas predecessors done in their time?
Anyway the green army is a common war movie cliché, as the army begin new and fresh, but it end they went through their first battles and experienced the dark side of the world.

They never faced a true threat but Enelthas was confident that they will be up to the challange should anything threaten his people.

Enelthas seemed smart, but why not any of his progenitor never made a large army of this? Inside theory 1: Maybe this king has a plan? Conquer the dwarf industry and the elven wizards to make this faction obedient to humanity?

In the year 331 the entire western coast of the Human Kingdom was suddenly under attack. Countless ships crudely built and decorated with skulls and spikes arrived from beyond the sea. Green skinned barbarians, or more commonly known as "Orcs". Savage and beastly things that raided, killed and burned everything to the ground; their sights set on glorious conquest and battle, reasoning with them was not an option for they understood and acknowledged only strength. These invaders were twice the size of humans, their bodies were an epitome of physical conditioning. They were unmatched in strength and relentless, no fortification could stand for too long and seeing as nothing could halt their onslaught, they continued to push further into the continent. The Dwarves were fortunate for their lands were too far out. The Elves used their magic to reduce the green skinned savages to smoldering ashes before they could do any harm to their borders. The Humans, however, took the bulk of the invasion, their lands were fat and easy pickings for the Orcs. Two legions have already fallen in the first two months of the invasion, there was no reply or aid sent from the Elves while the Dwarves were too far out, the Humans were on their own. The remaining legions bravely faces the invaders in the fields of battle where bodies littered the ground as far as the eyes could see, the stench of death could be felt for miles and hundreds of circling crows filled the skies as if complaining about the quality of their meals.

This is also oversimplified a bit, let's see... four years passed after the new king is begun to rule the land. Ships arrived? Inside theory 2: The king has no scouts and spies? I mean he can install 7 legion of men, but unable to create spy squads, scout squads, naval patrols and naval scouts? This theory can be extended to more, but instead move to the next parts... ok Orcs arrived (your portrayal is very nice (also in the end too, when you painted the corpses) they seems to be not too smart and only driven to bloodlust. This is a barbarian theme cliché, as the conquerors are not driven by exact motivations and desires or thoughts, just came and raid, because why not? " no fortification could stand for too long " It means they have siege weapons? Why the humans not lead raids and swift attacks to hit on their siege squads and then swiftly retreat? It is possible, if you have a lot of swift light cavarly units. So the humans continously fall against the orc army. It means they was badly equipped or badly trained. I mean, how can two legion fall so swiftly? Did they don't make plans, tactics or any smart move? Inside theory 3: The kingdom is poor and lack of leadership skill?

By the time the Elves realised that if the Human Kingdom should fall, the Orc savages would claim the lands for themselves then turn their full attention towards the nearest kingdom. As prideful as the Elves were, they knew that even their said impregnable magical defense would fall. Despite their decision to aid the Humans after weeks of being idle and refused to respond the requests of aid, some of the Elves thought that it was already too late since the Orcs made a forced march towards the Human capital and were almost two days away. Three at the most, if the Orcs stopped to rest.

Another cliché - Elves are often prideful and has a smug upper-class attitude? Where we saw it?
LotR
Hobbit
Warcraft Universe
Shannara
Dungeon Lords
Dungeon Siege universe
Witcher universe
Might and Magic/Heroes
etc...
If you want, you may check this: Our Elves Are Better - TV Tropes
Anyway, it was not correctly why the elves decided to left the humanity? Why they not sent a bit help in the very first days? Or they are superb wizards, how can they not foresee the invasion? I mean not magically, but how can they not control the events via logic and rationality? We can assume they have a council of mages, what they do, when they received news from unknown attackers?

Meanwhile the Seventh Legion and what was left of the Fifth Legion made a stand in a half demolished citadel, the stone work was almost as stable as a castle made out of a deck of playing cards. The General of the Seventh Legion ordered the retreat of his forces and make a last stand at the capital, the Commander of the Fifth Legion didn't agree. He continued to protest the decision of retreating, the capital was overflowing with refugees that barely escaped the Orc raids, if they were to leave then every innocent in the capital will be caught in the middle and won't survive the battle. The argument quickly escalated, insults became threats and then... silence. The Commander of the Fifth Legion stepped out of the crumbling ruin holding a bloody bag in his right hand that trickled blood as he walked. He was soon in the middle of the camp where both legions shared food or a place to rest, evryone present turned to look at what he was holding and started to mutter. The Commander felt like he just walked into a hornet's nest, but he was not afraid his eyes reflected only his determination. He raised his right arm holding the bloodied bag and then duped its contents on the ground, the head of the General fell out with a loud thud as it hit the dry dirt ground. The General's eyes were hollow and his face portraied equal amounts of shock and horror. The soldiers of the Seventh Legion were outraged at the sight, they were on the brink of fighting the Fifth Legion with whom they were sharing food and the ocasional joke a few moments ago. Some of the soldiers drew their swords out of their scabbards while others shouted.
"What have you done?!"
"Treason!! He killed the General!"
"You've doomed us all!"
"SILENCE!!" The Commander's shout cowared some of the rebelious soldiers into a defensive posture, they were less willing to fight.
"If any of you wants to fight then we can settle it right here."
The Commander then points at the General's head and continues
"I'll put this coward's head on a pike so he can see how I send you to the afterlife. I refuse the leave. I refuse to let those motherless green skinned bastards past this point!" The Commander punctuates his words by tapping ground loudly with his sword. "I was forced to leave my General behind and save what you now see of the Fifth Legion. The Seventh Legion was in the southern border, you all know NOTHING of what we had to endure. If any of you has the will to protect their families then stand here and fight."
The Commander then kicks the General's head, sending it rolling into the crowd of soldiers who cluttered and moved out of the way to avoid getting hit or touching the severed head.
"If not, then tuck your tails and get out of my sight! I'll die with honor before I live my life in shame as a coward!"
In the following days, there has been no news from the front and it was believed that the Legions have been either anihilated but the Orcs stopped advancing as well. Aid from the Elves soon arrived to help the Humans beat back the Orcs. The newly formed army of Humans and Elves then marched towards the front. After a several bloody weeks of conflicts and harsh battles, the Orcs were at long last pushed back, what remained of their mighty numbers ran back scrambling for the boats or ships and across the sea.

This is the penultimate part as I see. The Orcs somehow are superpowered army, and not even legions of human armies stopped them. This also worthy for a question: Inside theory 4: What happened the previous king and his army? The commander's performance is only for effect. Though the soldiers are convinced by him. The next days we can see the combined army swiftly beat back orcs, who are pushed their lines so easily? What changes their attitude? Elven magic or the defending army now led by skilled leaders? It seems most of the legions are died now, or at least remained mentionless, who led them, were the any survivors? Why the elves changes their attitude in the worst time? Why not sooner, who convinced them? Many unspoken questions.

When the lost sons and daughters of the Human Kingdom

Name of this place?

returned home they were all met with applause and festivities, but something has changed them deeply. They wore no familiar banner and their tabbards were stained with some unfamiliar emblem. The so-called General of this legion knelt before the King.
"We've returned home, my King. The invaders have finally been driven off our lands and back across the sea."
"I recognize you. Commander of the Fifth Legion. Your men have seen the most conflict these savages brought to us. Tell me: what became of the Fifth and Seventh Legions."
"They are no more, my King. Those men and women died."
The man stands tall and looks at the King. The original mark on his tabbard had a crude flame shaped simbol painted on it.
"We... are the Scarlet Legion. And we fight for the glory of our kingdom."

This is the best part of the story. Inside theory 5: We can see that the commander presumably kill the king and with his legions take the power to themselves, surely he is disillusioned, because he saw the 7 legion as an incompetent mass of humans. We can see how they fall against the first big threat so easily, but when the elves arrived in a Helm's Deep theme, they are become easier enemies. Question: What is the motivation of the commander? Who are him? Servant of the previous king, or a kin to that previous king? Remains unknown... but he saw the king as a weak ruler, thus why want to overthrow him. His motivation is probably to create a stronger state with his legion. But what if he orchestrated the whole thing? What if he hired the orcs to raid the current king's lands, which he defends in a heroic way, even the people praised him (this also seems a weak theory, but a worth a shot) and in the end he defeats the king, a total defeat to the current king. His lands are burned, his legions are died and his entire kingdom will possibly face some financial hardships. So as a lost mockery, he even lost his life, but after only, when he realized, tha t he has nothing.

OVERALL: This description is nice, but filled with some holes, which brings up some questions. The characters here are paper-thin now, hope when you create the campaign, they became more layered. The events here are also mysterious now, we don't know nothing about important events, which was written above.

I wish you success for the campaign!
Good luck!

 

[The_Messenger]

@Gottfried Thank you for the review and the time you spent reading.

I didn't want to spoil the bulk of the project's story since its supposed to be a surprise and a plot twist should I manage to get some help or make steady progress on my own. I also didn't want to flood the reader with a massive text wall, so I kept it as simple as possible. These characters also belong in the past, this took place in the year 331 and current action is set in 421.
But to give you some answers on the other races:
-Dwarves: they keep to themselves and are pretty much captivated with furthering their craft and promoting trade with the Humans while Elves weren't too eager to trade for things "they could do better"as they like to say. The Northern regions are way too far from where the Human Kingdom is, relationships back then weren't too great as to even consider helping.
-Elves: they have their own interests and are divided in three groups: traditionalists (set only on their own well being), progressivists (that want to open their borders to new relationships and progress) and isolationists (that prefer to keep everything for themselves and avoid contact with other races). They have no ruler and only a council composed of the most respected and brightest of minds, so no one makes a move unless they reach a conclusion or break the stalemate. Human relationship with the Elves was better than that with the Dwarves, the progressivists wanted to help or send aid, but first the decision has to pass with the council's approval.

Humans weren't anything grand to behold. The Elves have a generally poor impression of them, others are genuinely sympathetic but others offer sympathy because Humans are weak and show little promise. A stronger relationship with the Elves promised that the Humans would be able to learn magic on a whole new level, since Humans using magic by themselves was nothing impressive. Dwarves were interested in trading with Humans mostly, that meant weapons and not teaching humans actual master armor or weapon forging skills. Trade with Elves was difficult and they weren't willing to share too much than the basics and moderate knowledge. Trading with the Dwarves meant you had to empty your coffers, but what they offered was nearly exceptional as quality.

Enelthas II (I was flat out of names for kings) had other plans with the 7 Legions. By the end of the invasion 2 were lost right off the start of the invasion, 2 were tasked with fortifying the capital's defenses, the 7th Legion was the only one that remained at the borders but was later on called back to reinforce the front lines, the 5th Legion was nearly wiped out but managed to retreat, and the 2nd Legion was raiding the western coasts in an attempt to prevent more Orcs arriving.
Two legions continued to remain near the capital, the 2nd Legion continued its skirmishes on the coast. The combined army however was lead by competent leaders and had superior classes of magic at its disposal to unleash against the Orcs. Elves pretty much took charge most of the time and they even showed off their magical skills. Battles were a breeze for them compared to Human leaders that didn't see war, only interior scuffles when nobles fought against nobles.
The creation of the Scarlet Legion itself was an unforseen event but it was allowed to continue and is recognized as one of the Human Legions.

 

[Gottfried]

They have no ruler and only a council composed of the most respected and brightest of minds

If they so bright, the should not divide into three factions like hyenas, who arguing about the meat.

because Humans are weak and show little promise.

What about will power? With "will" you can reach things, not everything but... you can reach things.

Trading with the Dwarves meant you had to empty your coffers, but what they offered was nearly exceptional as quality.

This line only worth for a cheap tale or a very childish tale. It goes against mass-production system. I am not a financial expert, however I participated some marketing classes in school and I can tell you this goes against economy.

The combined army however was lead by competent leaders

Yeah I got it!

Well, best wishes!

 

[The_Messenger]

@Gottfried It's complicated and I don't want to spoil too much. If I manage to put up more Lore or make more progress with the project you'll get more questions answered.

 

[Gottfried]

Ok