New story for me

[CaptainKBX]

I'm starting a new story about myself and warcraft. Don't expect something like

Warcraft has done a lot for me in my life. I played it since I was very young.

No. Expect something more like

It was early. He was woken by thunder. Looking outside, he spied a greenish glow. Going outside, he noticed a swirling vortex which obviously caused the glow. He knew what he had to do. He packed his things and left.

Not the greatest, I know, but I'm working on it. Gotta do it in MS Word first, though.

 

[Undead_Lives]

You made a grammar mistake in your title. It should be "FROM me", not for.

By the way, you could actually post some of it. Otherwise this thread is pointless. No one cares if you say you're going to do something, they care when you've done it.

 

[CaptainKBX]

I messed up, partially because I am a character in the story. Also, on WC3Sear.ch I put a story up, and everyone was "gouging their eyes out". Now.... a short bit...

IT was dark... Not really night time, but just before dawn. Kyle* woke and noticed a glow outside. Rising from his bed he realized the glow was from a vortex outside.
It was time.
He went into the garage and packed his large back-pack he used to use for Boy Scouts. Packing his Axe, clothes, food, Soda, and everything else he needed, he went outside. Always thinking ahead, he also grabbed a belt and his mother's dagger from the cabana.

All I can write for now, haven't got a chance on Word yet.

Notes: Kyle is my name; I'm using it as a placeholder, while I decide whether or not to change it.
Some of the equipment may sound weird, like the axe and dagger. I actually have those, maybe not as you'd expect. I have a woodcutting axe in my garage and a dagger im my cabana, though the dagger is like a decoration, as I've heard from my mom. I live in florida, too, explaining the cabana.

Oh, UL, what kind of requests do you take? As I'm going to base a campaign on this story.

 

[Elenai]

Hmmmmz...Your story could use a little more flow and descriptive words.

Perhaps like this:

It was dark, just before the dawn. Kyle squinted his eyes as he stared at an ominous scarlet glow outside his window. He jumped out of bed briskly he walked to his window and gazed straight into a howling vortex, angrily swirling great electrical shocks bolting from its abysmal core. Kyle knew then that it was time.
Kyle rushed to his garage, and feverishly packed his old boy's scout back-pack. He placed his axe, some clothes, food, a little soda, and some survival things in it's pouches. He rushed out the door and suddenly stopped. Remembering his mothers dagger he went and retrieved his precious heirloom and then made his way to the swirling portal....

I would think that as a basic idea you've got some potential here. But you need some more meat in the story. Right now its kind of skinny.

 

[MySpaceBarBroke]

I messed up, partially because I am a character in the story.

Not to be a smartass or anything, but that's still the wrong preposition, unless you yourself just happen to also be your target audience.