My RP Idea

Level 7
Joined
Mar 12, 2008
Messages
203
Ive been thinking of this for a while but here goes.

Before the creation of the universe there lived one powerful being, his name was Enmity (Means hatred, later on is revealed why hes called that). He created new beings known as Deities. One of these Deities, named Althuris, decided to create minor lives, and he formed himself into a planet, as did his twin brother, Thendar, who formed himself into an Ethereal planet. Both planets shared the same cores. Enmity caught word of this and was angered by the fact that the gods were sacrificing themselves for minor beings. More of the gods began their own galaxies and planets. Enmity then traveled as a great force and began destroying the galaxies and planets, saying "If you fools wish to sacrifice yourselves for minor beings, let me finish the job!" Althuris, and Thendar, sharing the same cores, heard of this bad news, they created Elemental crystals along with guardians to uphold peace on their worlds, and told the guardians of the force trying to destroy them. Both planets made their own barrier, to protect them from Enmity. However in the process, the twin core lost some of its power, and Thendar was damaged, and the negative effects also created a barrier on to Thendar. Enmity was trapped in his own dimension, and was forgotten, while the planets remained dorment. However on Althuris, people known as Elementals walked the land. They all represented Althuris, but of a different power, Nature represented Althuris' life, Fire represented his fury, Water his blood, Earth his skin, Wind his breath, and the two Elder elements, Light and shadow represented His sight, and his cloak. All was not well however, Light and Shadow, like Althuris And Thendar, needed each other to survive, if one over expanded, the other would die, and both would end existence. They only had one choice, to war, however they did not war because of hate, but because of survival. The leaders of Shadow and Light infused their powers into an orb known as the Orb of Peace, agreeing that if any corruption happened between other elements, or if a new threat came, they would stop their war, and fight the the threat, acknowledging the possibility of extinction. Later, people with white skin came from small islands from the east, these islands had no crystals. Among these men was their champion, known as Vloek, who was greatly revered among them. He learned of a hero in the mainland, who ended wars except the Light and Shadow as he as no right to interfere with that one. He eventually became friends with this hero, but then the white skinned race, known as Outsiders, gave the hero the championship, and Vloek became a simple peasant among them. This angered Vloek, and he held a deep grudge, the hatred in him was felt by Enmity, the forgotten one, and Enmity was able to get a small part of him in the dimension. He offered Vloek a deal, if he could keep his grudge on the hero, and did as Enmity wished, he would grant Vloek a great power and Immortality. Vloek accepted the offer, but soon became obsessed with Enmity's orders, he found out about the Orb of Peace, and snuck past the leaders of light and shadow, he corrupted the orb, which soon shattered and a great beast emerged, Natharion, Seed of Evil. Vloek soon vanished to his own hiding, while Natharion could destroy Light and Shadow, and the planet Althuris.
 
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Level 25
Joined
Mar 31, 2004
Messages
4,468
PARAGRAPHS. PARAGRAPHS

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, PARAGRAPHS

I would not approve this because there is nothing interesting here. You need a plot hook. You just have backstory and no actual reason why anyone would be doing ANYTHING at all

If you want to design an RP, you need reasons for people to play. This just seems generic, boring, and considering how many paragraphs you've made, IE: NONE, people aren't even going to read it yet alone start playing
 
Level 7
Joined
Mar 12, 2008
Messages
203
I got burned. Let me hide the long version, make a small summary of whats happening, what the threats are, and will throw the artifacts out.
 
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