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20:45, 26th Aug 2010
ap0calypse: Rejected
ap0calypse: Rejected
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Journey of Nicolas
- Author(s)
- 5Lox5
- Tags
- Cinematic, Medieval / Warcraft
- Size
- 1211.31 KB
- Rating
- Downloads
- 3
- Created
- Aug 26, 2010
- Updated
- Sep 1, 2010
- Resources
- 1
- State
Approved
This bundle is marked as useful / simple. Simplicity is bliss, low effort and/or may contain minor bugs.
This is my first cinematic map and it`s about a men Nicolas and about that he gets more famous and stronger.Credits to General Frank for spearmen and bloodelf phoenix archer model and 67chrome, eXciTe and Hueter for cool skins.This is only 1 part so it is short, it`s just to know a little about this cinematic.I would liek to thank apocalypse for saying what`s wrong about this map nand i fixed some stuff like footmen a little terrain and story is ok but somebody my get it wrong.
Keywords:
Warcraft
Keywords:
Warcraft
Contents
Reviews
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2007
- Messages
- 4,789
Note: if you don't bother to read this, never bother to upload anything on the hive ever again either.
Description:
A map must contain at least a decently written description, this is a rule which you have broken.
In the future, please write a better, more appealing description.
Terrain:
The terrain was overall bad, the height tool was used to create these unnatural 'waves' instead of hills, mountains or any other reasonable natural shape.
The combination of trimmed grass with leaves was a bad idea as well: trimmed grass doesn't appear in the forest, it looked like complete chaos - please use more tilesets and chose those with care, for a forest 4 different tilesets aren't a luxury.
Randomly placed patches of shrubs and flowers didn't add any value to the general beauty either, in fact: it had quite the opposite effect. When placing doodads for a forest, try looking at a real forest as an example.
As an optional feature, you could've used a fog to generate a better atmosphere, which is recommended in cinematics - different fogs are used to create different feelings.
Story:
This is not a story! Any child could think of this.
So you've got some random troops in a random forest which are training (this doesn't make any sense: what are they doing all lined up there, and if they're here for training: why are they so displeased/suprised with it?)
Then the king comes (oh yeah, the king intervening without any warning at all and without guards, 1) The king never goes directly to a commander to tell him to prepare the troops, 2) A king always has guards).
The king tells the commander to prepare his troops, the commander tells the captain to prepare his troops, the captain tells the troops to prepare themselves.
The troops go into their tents (my initial thought: to sleep), end of story.
...What? No, seriously, what?
This is no story, as I have said before, this is a load of random things crammed together without a coherent plot!
There are so many flaws that this is absolutely unacceptable!
Details:
Although this is called 'details', it is one of the most important aspects in cinematics.
The camera was very bad: basically a simple move followed by a static camera - this is no cinematic material!
You should also work on your grammar and spelling, when working on a map: be formal, don't say stuf like "shiiiittt!!!!", only use one exclamtion mark ('!') and speak properly!
Bad ('gangsta') grammar isn't funny either, I don't know if this was your intention or not, but it is a pest. You can use it in chats or real life, but certainly not when creating a map, it makes you look like a complete fool who has no clue what he's doing.
Use apostrophes, hyphens and other punctuation marks where due, don't be lazy and write full sentences instead of leaving some words out (e.g.: "Hello Nicolas. King and I are pleased with your work. We want you to acompany Muradin in battle with scourge." - there are quite some words missing here).
Imports:
Choosing your skins/models is something you definitely need to learn.
A headless footman is NOT the correct skin for these types of cinematics, the commanded didn't fit the entire squadron either.
Leaving those two standard would've been the better option here.
I also didn't really feel how a spearman should be the commander (commanders usually are more fancy than regular spearmen).
Description:
A map must contain at least a decently written description, this is a rule which you have broken.
In the future, please write a better, more appealing description.
Terrain:
The terrain was overall bad, the height tool was used to create these unnatural 'waves' instead of hills, mountains or any other reasonable natural shape.
The combination of trimmed grass with leaves was a bad idea as well: trimmed grass doesn't appear in the forest, it looked like complete chaos - please use more tilesets and chose those with care, for a forest 4 different tilesets aren't a luxury.
Randomly placed patches of shrubs and flowers didn't add any value to the general beauty either, in fact: it had quite the opposite effect. When placing doodads for a forest, try looking at a real forest as an example.
As an optional feature, you could've used a fog to generate a better atmosphere, which is recommended in cinematics - different fogs are used to create different feelings.
Story:
This is not a story! Any child could think of this.
So you've got some random troops in a random forest which are training (this doesn't make any sense: what are they doing all lined up there, and if they're here for training: why are they so displeased/suprised with it?)
Then the king comes (oh yeah, the king intervening without any warning at all and without guards, 1) The king never goes directly to a commander to tell him to prepare the troops, 2) A king always has guards).
The king tells the commander to prepare his troops, the commander tells the captain to prepare his troops, the captain tells the troops to prepare themselves.
The troops go into their tents (my initial thought: to sleep), end of story.
...What? No, seriously, what?
This is no story, as I have said before, this is a load of random things crammed together without a coherent plot!
There are so many flaws that this is absolutely unacceptable!
Details:
Although this is called 'details', it is one of the most important aspects in cinematics.
The camera was very bad: basically a simple move followed by a static camera - this is no cinematic material!
You should also work on your grammar and spelling, when working on a map: be formal, don't say stuf like "shiiiittt!!!!", only use one exclamtion mark ('!') and speak properly!
Bad ('gangsta') grammar isn't funny either, I don't know if this was your intention or not, but it is a pest. You can use it in chats or real life, but certainly not when creating a map, it makes you look like a complete fool who has no clue what he's doing.
Use apostrophes, hyphens and other punctuation marks where due, don't be lazy and write full sentences instead of leaving some words out (e.g.: "Hello Nicolas. King and I are pleased with your work. We want you to acompany Muradin in battle with scourge." - there are quite some words missing here).
Imports:
Choosing your skins/models is something you definitely need to learn.
A headless footman is NOT the correct skin for these types of cinematics, the commanded didn't fit the entire squadron either.
Leaving those two standard would've been the better option here.
I also didn't really feel how a spearman should be the commander (commanders usually are more fancy than regular spearmen).
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2010
- Messages
- 4
First king didn`t come to him it was Uther and king send him.
Second this is my first cinematic and i know only basics i have figured camera a little better now, you are right about terrain and description but this is my first map that i released and i just registered.
About details you were right about exclamtion mark it was too many and i should`ve typed shit and it was 1 soldier that said that now all of them and they where lined up because captain called them and its was trainng time.
But for my first cinematic i am happy with this and whats wrong with spearmen as general it doesn`t always have to be someone like Uther.
Ooo and what was supposed to be description like, because i don`t know what to say in that.
Second this is my first cinematic and i know only basics i have figured camera a little better now, you are right about terrain and description but this is my first map that i released and i just registered.
About details you were right about exclamtion mark it was too many and i should`ve typed shit and it was 1 soldier that said that now all of them and they where lined up because captain called them and its was trainng time.
But for my first cinematic i am happy with this and whats wrong with spearmen as general it doesn`t always have to be someone like Uther.
Ooo and what was supposed to be description like, because i don`t know what to say in that.
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