I need a storyline...

[Bloodlust__]

Hey i need help trying to write a storyline for an rpg im making. I love making maps just i really suck at making a well planned storyline ive got a short one made, but if someone could please make it alot better lol.

Storyline: You and your friends are the leading roles in the kings high guard. You have been loyal to the king for years yet hes been acting awfull strange lately. Ever since that Necromancer that attacked the other month theres been an uneasyness in the city and the kings kept himself locked inside.

After a while you start to wonder whats going on, so you begin asking around. The high mage, (name) is also conserned on the matter and asks you to go to the castle to see if you cant find anything that might explain everything.

Once you arrive at the castle you notice something terrible has happened but what? The guard that is normaly stationed outside where both beheaded where they stood and now lay the corpses of to soldiers outside. You hastly enter the castle wondering what was happaning, wondering if the king was still alive. You make your way to the kings chambers passing dead body after dead body.

You finaly reach the King chambers, but just as you enter you saw what you thought was unthinkable. The person who was responsible for all of these deaths was no other then The King!! You confrount him demanding he tells you why he would do such things to his own men.

The king looks at you and simple says... Power! He then offers you a choice to further stand in his way or to join with him and gain powers that you could never have immagened. The choice is yours...

Anyone willing to give it a little feedback or there take?

 

[Bee Maya]

Maybe like this:

You and your 2 friends guard a city gate. An old woman approaches, begging for money. She states that the king has privatised most of their farms and now they are starving. A kind man gives her some food, but you begin to wonder what is going on. The king has always been very nice and fair... until that battle with the necromancer. You share your doubts with your friends, but they don't listen to you.
At night, while you are travelling to home, you decide to walk around and suddenly you see an estate burning and black-hooded figures kidnapping the family. You save them and the family turn out to be well-known barons. They think it's all about robbery, but you share your suspicions with them. After concluding that the king may be cursed you try to go to the high mage's tower.
However, only magicians are allowed there. You must stalk and steal the key to the tower and then enter it while no one sees you. Finally, you meet the high mage, Redulf. You apologise that you have broke in and share your doubts with him. However, he wants a proof.
You go to the palace and seek an evidence. [I don't know but you should search, for example, for some traces of dark magic, ..., sth. in that category]. You approach the dead bodies and hurry to the royal chambers. There you see the king laughing sinisterly. He has gone mad and tells you everything. You decide to join him to find his weak place and abolish the magic with the help of the high mage.
You tell the king that you are going to kill all mages as they are the main flaw in the kingdom and are most likely to choose to divide it as they wish. You suggest to kill them at night in their sleep as that way they won't be able to defend themselves. He agrees and sends you there.
After he's gone you search the palace for the evidence (?) and meet the high mage once again. Now he understands everything and begins to prepare the potion. You must find the needed solutes and bring them to the mage.
Finally, he begins to prepare the potion, but the king hasn't heard any news about the mages and it's now the next evening. He decides to check that himself. You must defend the tower until the potion is ready and then use it on the king.
The curse is vanished and the king is normal once again, without remembering anything. The kingdom has suffered, but will be rebuilt. For your special merit, you're granted a noble position and live hapily ever after.

 

[Bloodlust__]

wow thanx alot for your take ill most likely use some of your ideas in the map so thanx again for the help and +rep

 

[HappyCockroach]

storylines to be original should be somewhat disappointing sometimes.
like one of your best friends in the game betrays you, or he was always in the other side and u didnt notice, as well as the opposite, enemies you discover that were allies after you kill them.
if everything is just fine and perfect, it falls into a boring cliche

 

[Bloodlust__]

yea i know thats why i needed one cause im not to creative along those lines