Human Relations

[Nestharus]

So, just out of curiosity, I decided to perform a google search to see what people thought about human relations and how to properly relate to others. Just about everything that came out seemed to be stereotypical bs >.> (mainly from books, discussions were comments on what was stated).

I can only ask myself, "does anyone really believe this stuff???"

Sure, media continues to talk about these precise same things, random talk talks about it, and etc... I always viewed all of these things and being humorous, poking fun at the various aspects of life from an earlier era that just seem absolutely crazy in the modern world.

Really, all I can say to all of this trifle is that the best way to relate to another person is to look at something from their point of view. This includes adjusting what you might think if you had lived through your life as that person (the hardships, gender, age, circumstances, and etc...). Really, figuring out those things can be one of the joys to human relations. When I see manuals about friends being formed like this, families working like that, guys liking this, girls liking this; it's almost enough to make me vomit.

So... what do you all think? Do manuals work or is the entire world crazy.

Furthermore, it'd be nice hearing the experiences of others in human relations.

One thing that I always say for every aspect of life, from music to literature to movies to even relationships, is that the two hardest parts are the beginning and the end. So talk about how a conversation started up that led to friendship etc and talk about, if it applies, it ended ; ).

Perhaps from this discussion we can determine the faults in regards to human relations that seem inherent in so many cultures and where they came from.

 

[leet.firefox]

I think all the anime is starting to have an adverse effect on you.

 

[Jughead]

What are you saying Nes.

 

[Devine]

Most important thing is to be honest. Don't act like you're cooler than you are because people will see through that shit.
You should always have a proper subject, if you're talking about the weather, people will know you're only talking to them because you're bored or something, not because you're interested in them. Stay cool and think your shit through.
Conversations are the key to socializing and forming relations.

 

[Pharaoh_]

This era is considered difficult to successfully create a bond with another person. Why? Because people have many options nowadays, that guy looks hotter than the other, that chick is even hotter than the other.
We live within a mist of competition, which blocks our range of sight. This is what happens both in friendly relations as well as sexual.

One recipe is:

2 Boundaries
4 Thinking of the Other
3 Happiness
2 Safety

People want to feel safe and happy within their relations. These are two needs, of high importance, most of the people seek for within their social interactions.

Although I have placed some values next to each "ingredient", those ones do not form a relation in a quantitative manner, but a qualitative one.
Thinking of the other also shrouds the relation with safety, because understanding the needs of your partner is a key to unlock a high-level relation.

Finally, boundaries. The first time you get to know each other is where you will place your boundaries, making them known indirectly. Boundaries define the personal space, which, if it gets invaded, the person feels vulnerable and threatened. When such emotions are brought up, the relation starts to get shattered.
If you hold the reins quite strong, there will be no danger of threatening each other with your presence.

 

[Chizume]

I am not completely sure I know what you are stating. But...

People are people. You asked if manuals work for human relations and in my honest opinion they do. If you know how someone works you could easily adapt to make them like or dislike you.

What do people want? Usually love, fun or a shoulder to cry on. If you can provide any of these you are a good person and earned yourself +1 Social Point. Personalities are just a way of telling whether one is compatible with another. Maybe this personality can't result in love when combined with that personality, try another combination.

An additional note; every human is different from the other yes, but at the same time, saying everyone is different will automatically make everyone the same.

Also, being cynic and calculating like me in this post generally gives you -1 Social Point.

 

[Nestharus]

lol, I'd argue against socializing to begin with. For me, socializing seems entirely pointless =).

I guess if you somehow enjoy it, rather than the activities you are doing, then that's good and socializing is for you. I tend to only enjoy the activities, so doing anything with anyone else is plainly irritating and seems utterly stupid : P.

I was first, trying to see why people enjoyed being with other people, and secondly, seeing how they did it. Manuals, rules, and etc seemed stupid to me.

Tx everyone, you've given me a clearer understanding of how people more typically view the world ^_-. I always thought that those views were bs and that nobody could possibly believe them, but I guess I was wrong.

Perhaps what I consider to be a flaw is simply being human = P. Maybe I'd like a world of robots >: O.

Tx again : ).

Now to post my next topic, something I find totally intriguing o-o.

 

[Chizume]

Maybe this is you. If not then I don't want to be a killjoy but you'll get over it. It's a phase, ups and downs is a part of life.

Yours,
Chizume

 

[Nestharus]

->Maybe this is you. If not then I don't want to be a killjoy but you'll get over it. It's a phase, ups and downs is a part of life.

Before replying to a thread, your should check what is being discussed. In the current context, your reply is actually an insult directed at me ; p. Just keep that in mind for the future ; ). I won't lecture you about it, kk ^_-.

Moving on?

 

[Chizume]

You said "For me, socializing seems entirely pointless =)", and since humans are social creatures the majority of people do enjoy the socializing. You say you don't and I say I believe you will sometimes, or at some point.

 

[Nestharus]

->It's a phase, ups and downs is a part of life.

You sure didn't phrase it that way =P.

Please don't raise an argument -.-. People can live their life however they want as long as it doesn't effect other people without those others' permissions.

This thread was meant to discuss human relations and really the point in having them in the first place. I discussed that people have them to enjoy them and that what I regarded as a flaw was perhaps just being human (suggesting I'm inhuman, like a robo botto ;o).

So please, in the future, don't try to derail threads by changing the topic (no matter how subtle the changes might be). I wasn't asking for advise now was I? : P.

Now on a personal note (because I feel like sharing since you happened to bring it up), small talk drives me insane. Any statement that's said more than once drives me insane. I never ask for advice on anything as to me answers always seem entirely apparent (most people asking for advice already have the answer anyways). From this logic, I will never ever enjoy socializing (it'd always irritate me, so it's quite impossible). Essentially, any talk that is not entirely "straight to business" irritates the hell out of me and will continue to irritate the hell out of me for the rest of my life because I hate, more than anything, repetition and pointless gibbering.

Now from all of this, we can assume that your statement is 100% wrong in regards to me. I will never enjoy socializing nor will I ever enjoy being around other people. I'm going to be alone my entire life and the only way that'll change is if I decide to subject myself to torture =).

Now stop being so critical of others and get back to topic please -.-, or do you feel like trying to "help" someone when all you are actually doing is insulting them? : P. It's like saying a person is experiencing a downer in their life because you love ice cream, you expect everyone else to love ice cream, and they happen to dislike it. Do you think that's right? I sure don't ;p.

Yes, I don't fit in anywhere and I prefer it that way (I can't stand solidarity) because otherwise I feel like I'm not even alive. Yes, I think life is entirely pointless and empty and I most certainly prefer it that way. If life had meaning we wouldn't be free.

Now back to topic ^_^.

 

[Chizume]

Eh dude. First, you brought yourself up. Second, I do discuss the topic. I do not wish to give you any advice on how to change yourself, you were an example since like I said, you brought yourself up. I merely want to discuss. The fact is that some people go through phases where they dislike social interaction and usually these periods pass. I stated my personal opinion on the matter and that is it. And for your information I never say any of my words are facts or true. If you know what a "personal opinion" means you should know that.

But, if you want me to go off-topic and actually talk about you I'd say you are the only self-centered person in this thread (bringing up yourself in every post is proof enough), and actually posting the thread proves you enjoy socializing with other humans. In my honest opinion you look for some sort of personal attack directed towards you in my words just because I picked up on something you mentioned about yourself, and you didn't like it.

If it makes you feel better I in fact often find myself thinking like you do. And the statement I have tried to conduct is based on personal experience.

Anyway, agree to disagree. I enjoyed discussing with you.

Yours,
Chizume

 

[Anachron]

I agree. Different people need different treatments.
While some need serious talks, other just want to have fun all the time.

So you better check what topic the other being loves to discuss about.

And about relationships at all:
They are ... pretty much ... easy ... if you let them to be easy. This means:
Don't make a drama out of nothing!
If something is over, let it be over! Get over it!
Find another thing that you love/like if something is leaving what you loved/liked.
Whatever and whenever anything happens, make sure to be able to live with it. The others live some years with you, you live your freaking life with yourself.

 

[Nestharus]

Oh well, if I came across as being dramatic, I didn't mean to ^_-. Like I said, I wrote that post primarily to be linked to, lol ; D.

Aw well, misunderstandings arise all the time ; ).

And just to be clear, I didn't write the thread for socializing but for info ^_-.

And ->Anyway, agree to disagree. I enjoyed discussing with you.
I disagree to agree to disagree with you >: O *ninja strike*

Anyways, I disagree with your post Anachron ^_^. Perhaps it is better that everyone act in accordance with however they want to act? Your actions will draw the people that you will enjoy being around to you and their actions will draw you to them. By acting different from how you prefer to act, you are being dishonest with yourself and others. This will end up with empty friendships and etc.

So my opinion is-
Make a drama out of something if you want to! Treat others how "you" would like to be treated, screw the other person ; P. Act like a moron if you want to ; D. You'll end up being around people that actually enjoy being around you because you are who you are, not because you're putting up some silly act ; P.

Now, here's another idea. Many people might not enjoy socializing because they might not happen to meet people the socialize the same way that they do. Many people socialize through small talk or nothing at all. There could be competitive socializing as well, random socializing, and etc ^_-.

 

[Anachron]

Nes, now you misunderstood me.

I did not mean that you should totally be like the other guy, I just meant that you somehow have to fit to them.

I don't have that much friends because I don't want myself to fit into something that I don't like.

 

[Adiktuz]

I dont like being forced to socialize... that thing really isnt just for me... and I dont think you can really learn to socialize by reading books etc... coz you will only learn it from exeperience...

 

[Nestharus]

Ah ok ^_^.