A crossed meeting v.1.0.D

[Moderator]

Date: 2011/Oct/24 18:41:52 Vengeancekael: VM // PM: Rep Received: 0

Reasons: Lacking Description: Template Missing custom preview image: To add a preview image, resize the image to 256x256 or 128x128 using gimp and save it as .tga. Import the image and change its path to 'war3mapPreview.tga'. Poor and lacking terrain: Terrain Tutorial Other: Check out the models section for custom models made by the community: Models Section Check out the skins section for custom skins made by the community: Skins Section Check out the tutorials section: Tutorials Check out the Map Development Section: Map Development Section Check out this section if you have requests for models, skins, ... : Requests Section Check out the World Editor Help Zone (Trigger issues, object editor, overall WE issues): WE Help Zone If you have any complaints or questions directed towards a moderator, make a thread here: Map Resource Moderation If you think the moderator's judging is unfair or you have overall complaints, make a thread here: Admin Contact Please read the rules thoroughly: Rules Comment: Review: Story: Nothing original, nor the plot nor the characters. It's nothing gripping, also way too short, you could have at least added some special effects when Xivin transforms Maiev and Illidan. A duel would have made the cinematic a bit more interesting. The mushroom ring is also too random and not funny, the dialogue isn't the best either. Maiev kept repeating 'You', also it's 'damned log', but really, come up with something better. Terrain: Very empty, completely flat, the mushrooms are way too close to one another, add a weather effect, a thicker fog of war maybe, etc. You could have also used more custom models, animated grass models, custom skins for maiev and Illidan, special effects, etc. Camera: You should try to move the camera around the whole time, not fast and not too much, just very slowly moving for example when there's a conversation. Also in the beginning, the camera's too fast and messy, just make it follow Illidan from behind. Overall: A not so well executed cinematic based on the warcraft lore, also too short. Improve the terrain a bit more, work on the camera and add a bit more scenes with some action maybe and more special effects. Improving the dialogue wouldn't hurt either. Do that and it'll be approved with a 2/5 rating. Update: Approved with 2/5 rating

 

[Lageron Doom]

Feel free to give comments.

 

[Vengeancekael]

Improve the descrption: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-description-templates-171659/
Also a custom preview image wouldn't hurt.

 

[Lageron Doom]

Improve the descrption: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/miscellaneous-tutorials-456/map-description-templates-171659/
Also a custom preview image wouldn't hurt.

I dont know how to get custom preview image, i promise to do both, but please, dont reject it...

And by the way, please watch it before you say bad about it please-.

 

[Vengeancekael]

Do not double-post, use the edit button.
Also do actually use the template, with some colors and also screenshots to attract more people.
Checking this out now.

edit:

Review:

Story:

Nothing original, nor the plot nor the characters. It's nothing gripping, also way too short, you could have at least added some special effects when Xivin transforms Maiev and Illidan. A duel would have made the cinematic a bit more interesting.
The mushroom ring is also too random and not funny, the dialogue isn't the best either. Maiev kept repeating 'You', also it's 'damned log', but really, come up with something better.

Terrain:

Very empty, completely flat, the mushrooms are way too close to one another, add a weather effect, a thicker fog of war maybe, etc.
You could have also used more custom models, animated grass models, custom skins for maiev and Illidan, special effects, etc.

Camera:

You should try to move the camera around the whole time, not fast and not too much, just very slowly moving for example when there's a conversation.
Also in the beginning, the camera's too fast and messy, just make it follow Illidan from behind.

Overall:

A not so well executed cinematic based on the warcraft lore, also too short.
Improve the terrain a bit more, work on the camera and add a bit more scenes with some action maybe and more special effects. Improving the dialogue wouldn't hurt either.
Do that and it'll be approved with a 2/5 rating.

Also credit Sellenisko in the map's description.
Also choose a shorter file name, it won't show up like that in the maps folder in-game.

 

[Lageron Doom]

Ok, thx for watching
Edit: I did mention Sellenisko in the end. But still, im from norway, dont expect me to know how to talk english so good as you.

 

[Vengeancekael]

Good, now improve the description here on the hive (colors, screenshots, also credits).
Also remove the memory leaks(http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/trigger-gui-editor-tutorials-279/basic-memory-leaks-5889/) and it can be approved.

 

[Arcisal]

Here you go

Map Description

[Title]
by Lageron Doom

Ten thousand years have nearly passed. The destruction wrought by the Burning Legion remains only as a fairy tale to most. And the thought of Illidan Stormrage, the polar opposite of Malfurion Stormrage, remains only as a glimmer to the Night Elves.

Only the insane dare enter Ashenvale. Once, a lush land of exotic greenery, now only gives way to the foul magic of the Burning Legion. The only living reminder of the scars that stooped the Night Elves so low. But within these evil forest, a greater and more menacing darkness slowly arises, tending to it's wounds. Now, Illidan Stormrage continues to plan his next step in his vengeance.

But villains are without heroes. Maeiv Shadowsong, one of the Warders most prominent elitist, has set out for the hunt to chase down the Betrayer. Only the mad dare enter Ashenvale.

Only the dead dare play with death.

Credits & Thanks

I would like to say thanks to the following users for their contribution to the Hive which ultimately contributed to my map:

• Illidan skin by Darkholme
• Night Elf Warlock model by Sellenisko

And a special thanks to Vengeancekael for constructive criticism, providing links ("Map Description - Template by -Kobas-" and "Basic Memory Leaks by Ralle") and moderating my map.

Changelog

• 1.0a: Uploaded onto the Hive
• 1.0b: Added Map Preview Picture and Illidan skin by Darkholme

You should also correct your map settings (If that's what they're called).

Corrections

(Correct) (Wrong) (Optional)
Suggested Players: A watcher!
Suggested Players: 1

A crossed meeting v.2
A Crossed Meeting v1.0b

Created by Lageron doom at the hive
Created by Lageron Doom

Simplify your title. It's grammatically wrong and it doesn't really make much sense.

 

[Lageron Doom]

Here you go

Map Description

[Title]
by Lageron Doom

Ten thousand years have nearly passed. The destruction wrought by the Burning Legion remains only as a fairy tale to most. And the thought of Illidan Stormrage, the polar opposite of Malfurion Stormrage, remains only as a glimmer to the Night Elves.

Only the insane dare enter Ashenvale. Once, a lush land of exotic greenery, now only gives way to the foul magic of the Burning Legion. The only living reminder of the scars that stooped the Night Elves so low. But within these evil forest, a greater and more menacing darkness slowly arises, tending to it's wounds. Now, Illidan Stormrage continues to plan his next step in his vengeance.

But villains are without heroes. Maeiv Shadowsong, one of the Warders most prominent elitist, has set out for the hunt to chase down the Betrayer. Only the mad dare enter Ashenvale.

Only the dead dare play with death.

Credits & Thanks

I would like to say thanks to the following users for their contribution to the Hive which ultimately contributed to my map:

• Illidan skin by Darkholme
• Night Elf Warlock model by Sellenisko

And a special thanks to Vengeancekael for constructive criticism, providing links ("Map Description - Template by -Kobas-" and "Basic Memory Leaks by Ralle") and moderating my map.

Changelog

• 1.0a: Uploaded onto the Hive
• 1.0b: Added Map Preview Picture and Illidan skin by Darkholme

You should also correct your map settings (If that's what they're called).

Corrections

(Correct) (Wrong) (Optional)
Suggested Players: A watcher!
Suggested Players: 1

A crossed meeting v.2
A Crossed Meeting v1.0b

Created by Lageron doom at the hive
Created by Lageron Doom

Simplify your title. It's grammatically wrong and it doesn't really make much sense.

Are you happy? Ive done the most of those things said...

 

[Vengeancekael]

Don't use the yellow animated grass models and definitely don't spam them at one place. Spread the grass around and maybe only around trees, stones, ...

Hidden

Add lots of custom stone models to that cliff to completely cover it up.
And remove those silly gold mines.
If you're gonna use a custom stone model, then remove the old default blizzard stone models.

 

[Arcisal]

Are you happy? Ive done the most of those things said...

Technically speaking I am but...

Whats "STORMRAGES DARKEST SHEEP XIVIN!"?

If that is really your title, center it. And maybe add a subheading. Like this:

Open!

STORMRAGES DARKEST SHEEP XIVIN!
by Lageron Doom

 

[Lageron Doom]

Technically speaking I am but...

Whats "STORMRAGES DARKEST SHEEP XIVIN!"?

If that is really your title, center it. And maybe add a subheading. Like this:

Open!

STORMRAGES DARKEST SHEEP XIVIN!
by Lageron Doom

Well, also Stormrage is a family as everybody know, but im not sure if furion or illidans ancestors where known, neither if they have any close family like a cousin... And thats where Xivin the corrupted "forefather" to the stormrage brothers come in... I just wanted to get that out like you know... But ok, the title shall be changed.

By the way, i added screenshots... Look at them if you want...

 

[Arcisal]

Well, also Stormrage is a family as everybody know, but im not sure if furion or illidans ancestors where known, neither if they have any close family like a cousin... And thats where Xivin the corrupted "forefather" to the stormrage brothers come in... I just wanted to get that out like you know... But ok, the title shall be changed.

By the way, i added screenshots... Look at them if you want...

Why sheep?

 

[Lageron Doom]

its a way with words you can say...

 

[Nasrudin]

I suppose you mean black sheep. But if that's so, I'm not sure it really fit for a title, it's a very colloquial term after all.

Edit: also, I took the liberty of fixing the grass model since it was distracting me from everything else in the scene. See the attachment below.


As for the cinematic itself, I can't honestly call it bad, but I can't really call it good either. Some random feedback:

- The terrain looks fine to me. Yes, it is simple. Yes, it doesn't have a ton of custom models. No, I don't think that is absolutely mandatory. I liked the atmosphere overall.
The only thing I didn't like was the choice of models for the elven ruins - if that's what they were supposed to be: they don't really mix well in my opinion.

- On the other hand, camera definitely needs improving. Better angle and movement, for a start. At some point, it moves from the "circle" to the group of buildings behind the cathedral wich weren't visible before. I don't get why, it's not like something was happening there... but it was happening at the circle. It looked like the wrong moment to shift the attention from that.
Lastly, and this is quite important: I couldn't see Maiev *at all* until the very last scene. There's always something before her, grass in the first scene, units in the second. I found her by accident the secont time I watched the cinematic, but not because I could see her, I just noticed the hero glow.

- Interaction between characters is another delicate point. You've chosen two major Warcraft figures and tried to introduce another (of your own creation) of similar importance.
That's actually intresting, but the problem is that nobody really seems to do much in the cinematic. People appear, speak, and we go to the next scene. Illidan does pretty much what he wants, totally undisturbed as Maiev doesn't even try to stop him. It almost looks like as if she's too polite to interrupt.
And what happens just before the portal scene is an important event, but we don't see it at all. We can guess why it happened, but not how. Just a fade to black and on to the next scene.

In short, my opinion is that whenever you want to tell a story, you need to decide two things: what are you going to show, and how are you going to show it.
In the case at hand, there's not much going on, and while what is actually shown is not done badly, it could have been done a lot better.
I don't know what's your reason for making this map, or if you want to improve it at all. But if you do, the first thing I suggest is to show more of the events, or if at least improve the current scenes (better camera angles+more movement, more active characters, better dialogues).

 

[Lageron Doom]

I suppose you mean black sheep. But if that's so, I'm not sure it really fit for a title, it's a very colloquial term after all.

Edit: also, I took the liberty of fixing the grass model since it was distracting me from everything else in the scene. See the attachment below.


As for the cinematic itself, I can't honestly call it bad, but I can't really call it good either. Some random feedback:

- The terrain looks fine to me. Yes, it is simple. Yes, it doesn't have a ton of custom models. No, I don't think that is absolutely mandatory. I liked the atmosphere overall.
The only thing I didn't like was the choice of models for the elven ruins - if that's what they were supposed to be: they don't really mix well in my opinion.

- On the other hand, camera definitely needs improving. Better angle and movement, for a start. At some point, it moves from the "circle" to the group of buildings behind the cathedral wich weren't visible before. I don't get why, it's not like something was happening there... but it was happening at the circle. It looked like the wrong moment to shift the attention from that.
Lastly, and this is quite important: I couldn't see Maiev *at all* until the very last scene. There's always something before her, grass in the first scene, units in the second. I found her by accident the secont time I watched the cinematic, but not because I could see her, I just noticed the hero glow.

- Interaction between characters is another delicate point. You've chosen two major Warcraft figures and tried to introduce another (of your own creation) of similar importance.
That's actually intresting, but the problem is that nobody really seems to do much in the cinematic. People appear, speak, and we go to the next scene. Illidan does pretty much what he wants, totally undisturbed as Maiev doesn't even try to stop him. It almost looks like as if she's too polite to interrupt.
And what happens just before the portal scene is an important event, but we don't see it at all. We can guess why it happened, but not how. Just a fade to black and on to the next scene.

In short, my opinion is that whenever you want to tell a story, you need to decide two things: what are you going to show, and how are you going to show it.
In the case at hand, there's not much going on, and while what is actually shown is not done badly, it could have been done a lot better.
I don't know what's your reason for making this map, or if you want to improve it at all. But if you do, the first thing I suggest is to show more of the events, or if at least improve the current scenes (better camera angles+more movement, more active characters, better dialogues).

as ive mentioned many times before (i think) its a trailer for coming campaign im working on. When its released i dont know. But that it is a trailer is the reason i uploaded this map. And i know the grass covers Maiev, noob mistake... and the camera angles are still being fixed. but i take it as a compliment that its not bad.

 

[Arad MNK]

A Cinematic That has Great room for Improvments.
I agree with everyone Above. 2/5

 

[deepstrasz]

1/5. Sorry, it's absolutely as Maiev said.

And also, Maiev is a son!?