- Joined
- Oct 27, 2007
- Messages
- 3
A blind man is travelling to Texas. He feels the seats of the train and says to the man next to him he says "These seats sure are big" to which the man replies "Everything is bigger in texas". He then checks into is hotel and goes to the bar. He feels the beer glass and says to the bartender "The glasses sure are big" to which the bartender says "Everything is bigger in Texas". The blind man the asks to go to the lavatory.The bartender gave him directions. On the way he takes a wrong turn, slips and falls into the swimming pool. Scared to death he shouts "Dont flush!!!! Dont flush!!!!"....................
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Many people are travelling on a plane........Over the Atlantic the plane loses power......The captain announces "We're losing altitide so we are going to have to throw out the luggage". The passengers agree and all the luggage is thrown out. After a few minutes they lose a second engine, the captain announces "We have just lost another engine...we have to throw out the cabin baggage". So the cabin baggage is also thrown out. Just five minutes later a third engine blows out. The captain announces "We are close to land people, but we have to throw out some passengers too". There is an uproar in the cabin. Undaunted the captain continues "Passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order. A- any asians on board??... no? B - any blacks on board??....no......." Suddenly a little black boy asks his father "Dad, what are we??" His dad replies "Tonight son, we are Zulus................."
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Two people are walking through a graveyard when they hear a wierd chiseling sound. Scared to death they continue walking sticking together when the clinking noise grew even louder. They are relieved when they find an old man chiseling away at one of the tombstones. One of them walks up to the old man and says, "You gave us such a fright mate, we thought you were a ghost." The old man replies, "Dont worry, its those idiotic graveyard masons, they got my name wrong"..........
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A wealthy socialite was giving a garden party and several well-to-do guests attended. While the festivities were taking place, two gardeners were busy tidying the borders and attending to the lawn. A gust was watching the men at work when one of them leapt into the air and frantically jumped around the garden. Impressed by the fluidity of the gardeners movement, the guest remarked t his host, "That man is a wonderful dancer. I'd gladly pay him a hundred pounds to demonstrate his athleticism before my aerobics class. When the host approached the other man to see if such an arrangement was favourable, he yelled to his mate, "Tom!! Would you step on that rake again for 100 pounds?"....................
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Ok, enough for now. Have fun
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Many people are travelling on a plane........Over the Atlantic the plane loses power......The captain announces "We're losing altitide so we are going to have to throw out the luggage". The passengers agree and all the luggage is thrown out. After a few minutes they lose a second engine, the captain announces "We have just lost another engine...we have to throw out the cabin baggage". So the cabin baggage is also thrown out. Just five minutes later a third engine blows out. The captain announces "We are close to land people, but we have to throw out some passengers too". There is an uproar in the cabin. Undaunted the captain continues "Passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order. A- any asians on board??... no? B - any blacks on board??....no......." Suddenly a little black boy asks his father "Dad, what are we??" His dad replies "Tonight son, we are Zulus................."
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Two people are walking through a graveyard when they hear a wierd chiseling sound. Scared to death they continue walking sticking together when the clinking noise grew even louder. They are relieved when they find an old man chiseling away at one of the tombstones. One of them walks up to the old man and says, "You gave us such a fright mate, we thought you were a ghost." The old man replies, "Dont worry, its those idiotic graveyard masons, they got my name wrong"..........
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A wealthy socialite was giving a garden party and several well-to-do guests attended. While the festivities were taking place, two gardeners were busy tidying the borders and attending to the lawn. A gust was watching the men at work when one of them leapt into the air and frantically jumped around the garden. Impressed by the fluidity of the gardeners movement, the guest remarked t his host, "That man is a wonderful dancer. I'd gladly pay him a hundred pounds to demonstrate his athleticism before my aerobics class. When the host approached the other man to see if such an arrangement was favourable, he yelled to his mate, "Tom!! Would you step on that rake again for 100 pounds?"....................
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Ok, enough for now. Have fun
