Walking Past Reality

[Squiggy]

One day.
One meeting.
A million questions, no answers.
Can you face reality?
People say, reality is what you make of it.
But can you distinguish reality from what is real?
Is it real what you call reality?
Can you fight for your reality to make it come real?
Can you?
Are you able to fight your reasoning and abadon it for a loved one?
Even if you can, do you know what's next now that fantasy has become reality?
------------------------------

Index:
1.) Everyday
2.) Sad memories
3.) This must be a dream
4.) Handmade cancer
5.) "If you wouldn't mind.."
6.) Psychology, Philosophy and Dreams
7.A) Something on my face?
7.B) Calm
8.) A letter without a goal
9.) Actions speak louder than words
10.) Beliefs and Believing
11.A) Evening
11.B) Sunbeams through the shutter

---------------------------------
I chapterized it and continue to write every few days until I don't feel like it anymore.
Some of you already know the way this goes after reading the first chapter and what I based it on
Onwards from ch03, it's pretty obvious.
This story is pure fiction, do note that events happening in my story are going to be unreal, somewhat distracting and maybe arousing.

PS: I'll eat you if you're trying to steal my story (and/or a part of it)
PPS: Please bear with my multiposts, moderators :/

 

[Squiggy]

1.) Everyday

I went to college.
It was a cold day in winter, my hands felt like the icicles hanging down from my house as I left.
Not wanting to say or think about anything, I took my way into another, static day just as it had been for the last weeks.
I was depressed but did not know the reason for my feelings and couldn't express them.
"To whom" I thought, smirked a little and moved on.
The sun rose and gave the freezing atmosphere a warm touch.
My scarf yet couldn't protect me from a sudden gust of wind, nor could I cover my head from the blown up snow and the next thing I knew was that I hated winter.
I brushed the cold off my shoulders, looked around a bit.
There was noone to be seen at this time on the streets surrounding me.
It had always been like that since I moved here.

I was 22 years old, just got applied to college after I gave up on uni and worked for a pittance for half a year.
This was supposed to be my chance, yet, why did I feel so empty?
Why was I not like my classmates, full of enery, all wanting to accomplish something?
For me, my daily schedule pissed me off, rather than being joyful about it,
I wanted to stay home, regardless if summer or winter; I wanted to - what did I want to do?

It made no sense to think about it, thus I started to move again when I got blinded by a bright sunshine.
I stood still, recovering my eyes.
When the black had turned back to the normal view I hated any yet loved, I noticed - a glimpse of hair, long hair.
It was unknown to me to whom it belonged and it disappeard behind the next crossroads.
All that was left was this image of this wavy, silky, long hair.
I wanted to know more about it, moved on towards the intersection and looked into the direction.
Nothing.
Just like always...
Still, something was different and although I was uncertain why, I knew it was.
As I arrived at college, I went into my classroom, took the days' courses, left college and moved home.
It was 6pm and the sun had already set, the night covered the little village I was now living in.

I left my old city because of the college, for good I know, for my future life and for my parents who had lost trust in me when I broke off school, uni, work.
The few friends I had back then were either studying far away or had applied to the army.
For the rest of the people I gotten to know during the past years, I couldn't call them friends.
Friendship is not something you can gain or lose.
It is present or it is not.
I always gave a fuck about people thinking that now that they knew me, they had to add me to facebook or tell me their doubts about their reationships and worries towards the current political situation.
A friend is not what I just described.
It's a person you know, a colleague.
A friend does not have to understand your views or agree on things you say, nor vice-versa.
A friend understands.

I unlocked my door, took of my shoes and placed them on my carpet so they would not dirten the floor.
My laptop was running, I went on said website and wondered why again, three people would want me to add as 'friend'.
I only talked to them once, so I rejected the requests.

My feeds were bursting with news from all over the world..
"The current state is severe in.."
"The UNO requests 11 countires to aid.."
"34 people die in an assault..."
"Highest unemployment quote in the last 20 years.."

Why was I reading that crap?
Our wourld had been doomed since the beginning of humanity and nature will "take care" of us some day.
People only exist to worsen the situation and we will pay off our debts one day by getting wiped out.
Others hate me for my view on this, they insult me but yet are not able to counter my arguments.
They say "It's wrong to think that way" - maybe it is but people are hypocrites for seeing the world through their pink glasses and they know it but don't want to accept.

I closed the feeds, stretched myself, got up to put my pizza out of the oven.
After, I went on IRC to talk a bit about the current airing series, went to sleep while watching a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother.
Just like it had always been.
"To whom" I thought and all I saw was the approaching dream.


Yet I could not foresee that if I weren't get hit by the gust of wind, my life would not have taken this turn...

 

[Squiggy]

2.) Sad memories

She was beautiful.
I had met her five years ago when I was longing for attention from a girl I was interested in.
Up until then, she was nothing but a friend of her's.
Blinded by me interest, I didn't notice her, she was there but just not in my view.
Even less when she happened to get the girlfriend of a former colleague of mine.
He's now studying abroad and probably doesn't even know that I redid my finals.

A couple of months passed, I had written thousands, ten thousands of words directed at her, had been there when she was depressed, made her smile, laugh.
She had been suffering from a mental sickness giving her headaches all the time - knowing it wouldn't cure them, I tried my best at it.
Yet, nothing.
I finally gave up on her, knowing she wouldn't notice anyways - she was too young and too stupid.
I came to knew that friend of her better after she had broken up with my colleague.
I knew he wouldn't approve of my behaviour but I didn't care.
Weeks, months passed again, but this time, it ended up in me having a relationship with her.
Her long, brown, curly hair,
her perfume,
her perfect shape,
her cute nose,
I was proud that she was meant to be mine.
When she wasn't.
Having myself exhausted for her, writing essays for her, teaching her maths, english and biology, my reward was but to get to know she had approached me only to remake a connection to my colleague with whom she was still in love with.
However, she did not know she had been my first real love - or would not want to recognize it.
My previous relationships with women were different as this one, I thought it was what I had been wanting for long time.
On my birthday, she then broke up with me.
It was over, I knew the next weeks were going to be hard on me since she now was again HIS girlfriend.
I did the same as Barney in the series, suited up, bought myself expensive merchandise and hit up on various girls to compensate for the hole she had left in my heart.
Half a year passed, she left school, I got myself a new girlfriend.
Yet, I bought her the same perfume that girl had, I told her to let her hair grow and noticed that this wasn't what I had wished for.
Months passed again, a year.
Lack of comprehension turned into hatred towards her, I wrote various songs for her, filled with insults, blaming her for various things.
I never recorded a single one, yet the texts are still on my hard disk.
Though time passed, I could not forget a single thing, however I did not want to change my life as I was perfect with the flow things were going.

Once I got drunk due to some colleague's birthday party, browsed facebook and made notice that I was there - I clicked 'poke' button.
Immediately after, I noticed my mistake and closed the page, poured in another vodka in my glass and went to sleep without drinking it.
I do not want to know if anything has happend since then, I did not get a reply from her, but still I want to.

Why?
It's been three years.
Yet, why do I want her to be at my side and at the same time as far away as possible?

What I do know is that things are better the way they are right now and I should not change it.
Was that hair perhaps...?
Her's?
To whom did it belong to.. "To whom?"

 

[Squiggy]

3.) This must be a dream

I woke up.
My alarm had been ringing for five minutes but I couldn't bring myself to get out of my bed.
There was no college today, thus no reason to hurry.
It was about 10am when I finished my everyday shower and clothing process, so I decided to grab my laptop and watch a series which was currently airing.
My stomach yearned halfway for breakfast, I paused, went to my refrigirator and closed it again.
"Nothing to eat, eh?"
Just then, I remembered what I had dreamt of.
It was a recurring dream showing me images of my past.
Images of a real, yet distant past which had left me alone.

I knew it was always the same dream, always about the same girl.
I wanted to forget.

My thoughts were suddenly distracted by a roar coming from my coffee machine.
So I poured water into the water tank, waited until I could enjoy my delicious hot drink, full of caffeine.
Just as I grabbed my favorite cup, my hand slipped and all the coffee spilled on my bare feet.
"The fuck!" I shouted, took the cup and put it back into the machine.
My telephone rang, it was one of my colleagues.
"Yo pal, ya know about dat girl in our class? The hot one with curly hair?"
"Sure. What's with her?" I responded.
"I got to meet her yesterday eve in the cafe near your house and she seemed to be really pissed."
"So what?"
He told me, he had invited her for a drink and began to get fancy about her.
"Urm, I don't want to interrupt you or anything but could you get to the point?"
"Well of course-" and there he went again, raving about her breasts and what he'd do with them.
"So you got a boner from getting a girl a drink now?"
"No, listen. Those boobs are delicious. Deeeeeelicious I tell ya!"
"Touched them?"
"No."
"Wimp."
"What th-" I hung up, gave the coffee another try and really succeeded.
"My.. it's still early and he already gives me that crap" I said to myself while watching my episode, drinking my coffee.
The coffee was more delicious than that girl ever could've been.
I had talked to her once in informatics.
The discussion took no longer than five minutes until I just turned around, got away from her.
Thinking back, she might've been pretty and all but intelligence-wise just the same as a slice of bread.

I put on my new jacket, tied my shoes.
The cold stuck me for a moment when I opened the door but what should I do, I had to buy stuff to eat.
The town was awfully quiet for this hour and even more, the streets were empty.
I went past the house where I had received my cold shower the day before, stood still and waited a second.
Another avalanche came down, almost hit me and smashed on the ground.
"Heh, you fucker! Can't touch this!" I grinned and took a step forward.
The next second I knew I had to regret this.
I suddenly was buried in snow.
"People may say 'what you reap is what you sow' but I can't remember asking a fucking field for snow!"
The same procedure as yesterday; brush off snow, shake head, look around if anyone had seen that.
Nobody.

Moving on, I grasped a glimpse of a scent unknown to me.
It was warm, yet chilly.
Sweet, yet fresh.
It was like a thousands of flowers appeared around me, my very figure being ready to dive into the sun which shone upon me now.
A horn yelled, crushing my journey in paradise.
I looked left:

The most beautiful girl I had ever seen stood in the middle of the street.
She had butt-lengthy, lilac-colored, straight hair and -
What was I thinking?!
She was about to be hit by a hugeass truck!
I dashed.
Faster than I ever did without hestitating or weighing that we both could die.
I took a leap - three meters
I reached my hands - two meters.
I let out a cry "Watch out!!" - one meter.
Everything felt unimportant to me, all dizzy - 50 centimeters.
My hands grabbed her slender body - 30 centimeters.
It was all over.
"Wha-?" she wanted to say - 20 centimeters.
She couldn't finish her sentence, I took her my direction by all my force -ten centimeters- throwing both of us into a mass of snow.
My foot got sideswiped.
The pain was terrible.

Instantly, when I looked into her face, I was certain it had been worth to even die.
Two huge eyes looked at me.
I smelled the scent I had grasped before - it belonged to her.
Butt-lengthy, lilac-colored hair, a bit ruffled.
A soft, woolen coat of grey color.
A hand, slapping my face.
"What do you think you're doing?! It's not like I asked you to do this.
Did you even think before you grappled me?!"
"You were about to get killed! What would you expect me to do?!" I returned the fire.
"STUPID!" she said and got up.

The truck had passed by, not even attempting to stop.
A case of hit-and-run driving but I couldn't do anything as it already had disappeared.
I grabbed my thoughts, stood on my feet and looked at her.
She really was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
"Anyways..." she began.
She turned her head a bit down.
"Don't expect me to thank you for this - I'm just returning the favor."
She gave me a slight kiss on my cheek.
I was paralyzed, unable to do or say anything.
"W-well.."
"Shhh. You better get me some tea or do you want me to freeze?"
I nodded.
The scent had gotten stronger, not disturbing.
It was almost fruity in contrast to all the dirty odor I got to small every day.
Walking besides her made me feel pleasant, although we just had escaped death a few moments before.
She was shivering.
"You really ok? You are-"
"Of course I am!" and sped up.
Trying to catch up with her, I realized, it was the exact same hair I saw the previous day.
"You, you.."
"Shut up now, will you? Just where do you live?"

Did this unreal girl just asked me where I was at home?
Her purple eyes glared at me.
"Uh sure, it's just four more houses down the road." I replied, yet unsure whether all this was reality.
"We better hurry then, I'm cold."
While we were walking down the snowy scenery, I looked at her from the corner of my eye.
She must've been about 1.70meters, about my age - two or three years younger than me.
And she had a terrible attitude.
I knew that attitude from hundreds of anime I has seen so far.
I felt myself an Otaku when the banner 'Type-A-tsundere' came to my mind.
"This must be a dream after all. There's no fucking way in hell this could happen." I thought, trying to get off that banner.
But I got hit by her and it still hurt.
"No, no, no, this is not happening. There's manga and anime for such scenarios."
But yet, she walked by my side, her face showed a bit of anger, a white hair ornament waving every now and then.

Still dizzy, I noticed we had arrived at my door.
I got out my keys, mindlessly unlocked the door and let her in.
She undid her jacket and gave it to me.
Her black boots were now lying near the carpet where I would have placed my shoes.
I grabbed them and put them next to mine.
"Nice place you got there." she said.
"Well.. nice you call it."
"Of course, look at all the stuff you have. There's a flat TV, a laptop, a couch and even a dishwasher."
I started to grin.
"It's not bad living here, you're right."
Looking into my living room, the girl, wearing a grey sweater and matching pants stood in the middle.
"Just no fucking way. It's too much of a cliché to be real" I told myself and pinched my arm.
An immediate piercing pain convinced me once again that I wasn't sleeping.
"So, what would you like? A coffee, tea or juice? Or maybe some booze?"
She faced me, grinned a little bit, then responded:
"Tea. It's cold."
I made some.
"Have yourself" and pointed at the table.
She sat down, curiously looking around.
I arranged some cookies and chocolate biscuits on a plate while I was waiting for the tea water to cook.
"What flavo-"
"Apple." she replied before I could finish my sentence.
"Heh, that fits a bit~" I said to myself.
I infused the hot water into my favorite cup along with the last apple-flavored teabag and put it on the table.
"Might want to get some more, just to be sure..." I figured while I sat down.
She still was looking around, it seemed that it was as unreal to her as it was to me.
I was dazzled by her beauty, by her spirit.
"S-so.. what's your name anyways?" I asked.
She told me.
Silence.

"You.. You know, about earlier.."
The girl looked down on her cup of tea, took a sip and put it back on the table.
Her finger lightly touched the rim of my cup - she started to blush a bit.
She tried to avoid looking at me at all costs.
"I-I wanted to.."
Anyone would be able to know what came next who had seen at least one harem-based anime.
"Just so.. you.. I mean, err"

Silence.
"Thanks."

 

[Miss_Foxy]

An excellent read! I hope to do something like what you're doing sometime after I finish my first story. In fact, your quadruple posts are just done to make it neater, right? I hope it's alright, since you're doing this in the name of art.

 

[Squiggy]

It's going to be a LOT of text, all chaptered so you can red your chapter straight by clicking on the index without having to look for it.

 

[Squiggy]

4.) Handmade cancer

Rolling cigarettes has always been a bad habit of mine.
My first one was way before laws allowed me to.
Theoretically, Nicotine is an alkaloid found in the nightshade family of plants (Solanaceae) that constitutes approximately 0.6–3.0% of the dry weight of tobacco, with biosynthesis taking place in the roots and accumulation occurring in the leaves.
It functions as an antiherbivore chemical with particular specificity to insects; therefore nicotine was widely used as an insecticide in the past, and currently nicotine analogs such as imidacloprid continue to be widely used.
Nicotine is also found in several other members of the Solanaceae family, with small amounts being present in species such as the Eggplant and Tomato.

In reality, it's inside a cigarette and makes you dependant because it boosts the release of Adrenaline, Serotonin and Dopamin which the human body longs for.

I'm aware that I might up getting a surgery on my lungs and my leg, but I still smoke.
Smoking itself is part of my daily life.
Be it after a great meal or just the obligatoric cigarette alongside a beer r a coffee.
I've already tried to give up on it, counting today, it makes about ten times.
One thing I knew and still know for sure is that I'd give up smoking for a value worth it.
It's not the price, to be honest - I pay about 30 bucks a month.
It's not the tobacco - I smoke 'high-quality' without additions such as Vanilla flavor or preservatives.
One day, I will give up.

 

[Squiggy]

5.) "If you wouldn't mind.."

Snow fell outside.
My small balcony was covered with the white powder, so as I went outside, I made use of the snow shovel leaning by the wall.
When work was done, I lit up a cigarette, inhaled the smoke.
She was 20, of unknown origin and sitting on a chair inside.
I just had met her while risking my life in an action anyone would call me an idiot.
" 'Thanks', eh.." I muttered as I blew out the blue fume.
A door was heared, she stepped outside.
Leaning on the grid, watching the snow fall, she reached out her right arm.
"You know, I used to catch those little snowflakes and eat them one by one."
I looked at the tip of her index finger and saw a flake landing on it.
"Snow's dirty, you know."
That was the wrong reaction.
"Now, guess why I don't eat it anymore."
I took a puff.
Turning my head sideways, I once again felt this unreal behaviour.
This beauty was standing next to me, arms crossed and buried in her sweater opening her mouth:
"Smoking's dirty."
As I wanted to reply my usual words, she interrupted me.
"Not that I mind, but-"
I threw my cigarette away without thinking what I did.
"Let's go inside. This cold is killing me."

Back in my living room, I looked at my watch as I walked towards my kitchen unit.
I returned, she was sitting on my sofa.
Grabbing the leftover cookies, I asked:
"It's evening. Do you play on staying longer?"
No response.

I sat down, placed the cookies on the glass table and got back up on my feet.
"The heck, it's supposed to be here..."
Eyes followed me wandering around the room, opening various drawers and cupboards.
About five minuted passed until I found what I was looking for:
A dark-blue rug.
I took my way back to what I called my 'lounge' and handed her - she wouldn't take it.
"Just do it."
"Well, if you insist..." and snapped at it.
My next target was my laptop hooked on to my flat, running all day and night.
"My, I have way too many stuff to choose from, what would you like to watch?"
"I don't care, really. Just nothing too stupid. Also I really hate those forced drama movies where everybody's getting depressed over minor things like a dead pet - and please make it a light-hearted choice; I don't feel like thinking right now."
"Uh-"
"Just don't choose a sitcom or a parody of a movie. I've seen them all."
My mouse passed my anime folder.
"No way I'm gonna show her that" I thought, went back to said folder and archived it with a password.
"You're certainly specific, aren't you?"
"I don't want bad entertainment, that is all, idiot" she replied and buried herself in the rug.
"Heh, I'm so going to use that blanket tonight.."
Finally, I found something meeting all her conditions and started the play.
Can't go wrong wth Amélie...
I was rather impressed that she didn't know the movie as it was supposed to be famous and all and thus I had prepared an alternative, which I could toss away for now... for now.

Halfway during the movie, she tapped my shoulder.
Not saying anything, I waited.
"Would you..?"
"Hmm?"
"Ah, nevermind."

The movie ended with the Credits.
Although she wouldn't ever admit it that she liked the film, I was sure that she did.
The part when Amélie succeeded in helping her neighbor had left a small, yet noticeable impact as she changed her position on my black sofa.
Her feet were outstretched, her sweater puckered as she adjusted her unnaturally long hair so it couldn't get in her way.
I had taken a peek at her every now and then, brought new biscuits and refilled her - my cup multiple times.
"That wasn't so bad, I have to admit." she definitely had to admit.
"Glad you liked it. So you wanted to ask me something earlier? You know, it's been about 50 minutes?"
Silence.

"Well, what I wanted to say is- erm.. see it's like this. Ah, no, forget it!"
"No can do."
"Hmpf"
Silence again.

"So.." she started again.
"If you wouldn't mind.." looking at the few cookies.
"Would you, you know.. if possible by any chance let me..-"
"Don't talk on. I know what you're wanting to tell me."
She blushed.
I went into my room, came back two minutes later.

"You see, I totally don't mind, moreover-"
"I kill myself if I mess this up" thinking
"Well, I changed my bedding already and my sofa is extendible. No problem there, no worries needed"
"As long as I can use that rug-" thinking again.
"In that case. It's gotten pretty late and I feel tired, so.."
"Have your way" I gestured a bit, followed by an almost unnoticeable smile of her's.
"Any special preferences for breakfast?"
"Just don't you dare to enter your room after I closed the door."
"How can you even think that..?"
"A-anyways, I'll be going now. Night."
"Sleep wel-"
The door slammed.

Like hell I wouldn't enter it.
But where was my object of desire?
I felt a depressing sentiment but what was I supposed to do now? Steal it?
I dimmed my light, put out another blanket "This should do" and tuned in an episode of How I met Your Mother, volume at 30%.
After the episode was over, I uttered a step towards my room, which was no more than three meters away from my new roost.
Nothing was to be heared.
Just to be sure, I put another episode in my playlist.
The archiving had ended by now - god knows why I even did that, I just had met that girl.
With a shrug I went back to the sofa and watched it.
That episode ended as well, a quick glance at the time, 0:21am.
Safe.
Put my mobile phone out, activated my camera.
"I just need to be sure" justifying myself against the sad image of me I had in my mind right now.
I put all my concentration on the door I was trying to open silently.
Those actions are predestined to go wrong but I couldn't stop now.

It worked, the door was pen - about three centimeters.
"God!" I almost cracked up at the sight in front of me.
Nothing but her head were visible under the bed cover and her long hair, lying in a slight frizzled shape yet not out of order, covering half of her face along with a quiet, constant breathing sound.
I made sure my mobile phone was set to Mute and the flash deactivated.
Click.
Got ya.
Closing the door was as hard as opeing it wthout messing my whole ninja action up, but once again I made it without noise.
My feet carried my to my laptop.
I turned on Bluetooth, send picture, confirm, wait, move it in a newly created folder, archive, put a password on it.
I went to sleep.

Roughly six hours later, I woke up by a sunshine.
My instinct told me to look around.
Nothing.
No jacket, no cookie plate on my table, no tea cup.
I went into my room with "Mooorning!" prepared - freezed as I opened the door.
My bed was just like it had been before I -and I was completely sure that I did it- changed it for her.

I sat down on the floor.

"Oh boy, you really need to watch less japanese anime-" I thought but was interrupted by my door bell.

 

[Squiggy]

6.) Psychology, Philosophy and Dreams

It's been a long time since I started to get interested in psychology and the human nature.

All above the 'why' - why do we cry, why do we smile, why can we call ourselves as superior beings?
Yet, my research had not given me any valid evidence for those exemplary points, but I wanted to know.

I bought books about humanism, gestures (as in 'tells'), colors, the 'via regis' only to name a few to extend my knowledge.
Additionally, I got myself familiar with philosophers, such as Socrates, Plato, Confusius.
I had hours and hours of discussions with classmates and friends of mine, consisting of topics which everyone sane would gave up on.
Not even a surreal part, a yet connected part to both philosophy and psychology were meant to stop my theories - dreams.

Dreams are a succession of images, ideas, emotions and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep - as per definition.
That's the exact same what you'd call a place where you are what your subconsciousness wants you to be.
You act as it wants you to act, you say what it wants you to say and you feel what it wants you to feel.
Freud, as per example, said, dreams are a recovery state for your brain after a day.
A place where you recover from the past day.
He isn't wrong about that, still why are dreams often more than this.
Doesn't one dream the most wicked things every now and then?
Even more, how does this relate to the Lucid Dreams which are proven to be a state in you being able to control your dream and thus fly?
Can't you cut a house in two with your bare hands?
Can't you rebuild it by just using your physical force after that?

Thinking about dreams has always left me in confusion.
I can't make sure whether a dream is good or bad, nor can I say how dreams have changed during the past two thousand years.
Paul Tholey, a psychologist used to examine Lucid Dreams and condition them.
He said, it was possible for people to train things while being asleep, in order to prefectize them in reality, the awakened state of oneself.
The other way round, this means you can create surreal objects while bein in a lucid state and get used to them.

I was sure that, aside from all confusion, neither a state of being asleep or a Lucid Dream can not coexist or even touch the border to our world.
Moreover, it was simply not possible to mix up a dream with a wake expierience, be it eat,
get hit,
have a fever,
love,
have sex,
dream.

 

[Squiggy]

7.) Something on my face?

"Moooorning!" a joyful voice hit me.
"W-w-w-" I was stuttering.
"Was taking a walk, keeps you refreshed." she said and smiled.
"But my bed?"
"Oh, I made it."
Her scent startled me as she walked by.
"And the cookies?"
The beauty shot: "There you go, asking stupid things so early in the morning. I cleaned up. Got a problem with it?"
"Of course not.." I turned around.
There she was again, no doubt.
I had just let her through my door.
"Am I a bit sleepy..?" I wondered and went into my living room.
"Say, do you have a spare towel?"
I went to my cupboard in the edge next to my wardrobe, got one out.
"Fine. Now get ready to prepare something to eat for me. I'm starving." the girl told me, smiling all over.
"I'll take a shower. And don't you even attempt to peek or this will be your last try at doing anything. Got me?!"
"Promise.." I said, went to my kitchen unit, placed a small tea cloth on the table and put a candle on it.
The water was heating up, I encountered a problem.
She would've wanted apple-flavored tea which was sorta non-existant as she had drank the last cup the day before.
My pool to choose from was fairly large, however how would I know which was the right flavor.
In favor of my lungs, I decided to get myself a smoke and put on the coffee machine.
"Oh shit, it's freezing! How could she even think about going out? Fuck..."
People endure the most unnecessary things by smoking cigarettes and so was I, standing at a felt air temperature of -10 degrees, wearing only a sweater and my leisure pants.
After I finished, I snipped the cigarette on the street and turned back to step into the warm room only to see her sitting at the table, hair pinned up into a ponytail.

"Took you long enough. I got myself a tea bag as the box was already there."
A feeling of relief went through my body.
"So, what about eating? I have some buns or cereals, if you prefer."
"No spread? No nougat cream or jelly?" she asked.
"Naturally. Just.." I walked to my small cupboard where I kept all the various things and opened.
"There you have it, strawberry, raspberry, chocolate, wild berr-wait a second." I stopped and placed everything I had on a tablet which was supposed to get on the table.
"That's not-.." she said while playing with the tea bag, twisting it around her forefinger and looked at the variations.
"Guess I can't help it but take one of those." - Raspberry, perfect - I sat down.
She took a bun from the small basket I had put them in and started to cut it into two halves.
I took a sip of my coffee, watching her.
The pinned-up hair looked good on her, although I preferred it letdown but who was I to ask that of her.
Her eyes were as magnificent as the previous day, even more now that the sun reflected, leaving a slight sparkle in them.
A small, pointy nose followed by symmetrical, most likely silky-soft, lightly pink lips covered by a cup of raspberry-vanilla flavored tea.
She noticed.
"Something on my face?"
"No, not at all. I was just wondering how beautiful you are." I blurted.
An unpleasant silence filled the room.
"Don't mention it." she mumbled, looking away from me.
"No, really. I couldn't believe it yesterday when I sa-"
"Wait wait, what are you trying to pull off here?"
Her facial expression had changed to a combination of curiousity and shyness, yet, she tried to sound annoyed.
"Nothing; just complementing your look."
"So stop it."
"Now come on, how could you forbid me do it after yesterday?"
"I-I.."
Her cup was empty.
"Want me to get some more?"
"Oh..." she hesitated.
"Sure."

"Hope you weren't getting up that early for no reason. I mean it's Sunday and all" I said while taking the cup to reinfuse tea.
"No. I wanted to take a walk to clear my mind. It's not an everyday situation, you see.."
"Sure.. well, the water's heating up and you know about my tea box already. I'll have a shower now. Make yourself at home."
I closed the door behind me as I stepped into my bathroon - god how I needed a shower right now.
While the hot water kicked me alive slowly, I could not think but of one question ghosting through my mind.
I just had to ask her.

As I finished my morning procedure, I got back into my clothing - I couldn't possibly walk though my flat as I was born, given the awkward setting.
Dried my hair, put a bit styling gel in it, went out of the bath.
I called her name, she responded "What's it?"
As I moved towards the couch she was sitting on, zapping through various TV channels, my heart took a leap.
I sat next to her.
"Look, I'm completely fine with you being here."
She looked directly in my eyes.
Shiver.
"What I want to say is, while I was showering, no wait. I hate beating around the bush so I'll get straight to the point."
Heart attack.
"I don't know of your circumstances and I understand if you don't want to tell me."
She took a move backwards, still facing me.
"But what I definitely NEED to know is how long you're planning to stay here!
If you ask me, seriously, I can afford the costs and wouldn't question if you rejected my offer but just tell me!"
She stretched.
Silence.

"I can't go anywhere else" she whispered into her sweater.
Dead.

"Ok, then.
I'll skip college tomorrow and buy you a set of clothes and a bedding.
I won't accept a 'No' now that's it's come to this."
And I wasn't talked back to.
"Just.. just let me buy the clothing."
"No problem."

One million questions, no answers.
And I was fine with that.
The TV showed a rerun of yesterday's movie 'Sin City".
The girl leaned her head on my shoulders, we watched it.

 

[Brambleclaw]

Instead of multi posting just do 1 big post and link to parts of the story? Or put it in a pdf people can dl? in pdf file formats you can link chapters to index

 

[Squiggy]

7.B) Calm

Something crashed.
I looked outside - without noticing it, the weather, which had been nice in the early morning, was now more of an approaching snowstorm.
Snowflakes and more snowflakes fell; too many to count them.
"Look."
She got up and walked to my balcony door as if there was something important.
My eyes followed her hand opening it.
Suddenly, it was freezing cold.
The whole room was now part of the winter I hated and tried to avoid it.
"It's beautiful."
"Heh" I replied. "Show me what is so beautiful about sitting in downwind."
I stood next to her.
Countless snowflakes outside - more than I had ever seen in my life.
More than twenty years had passed and I could remember winter by winter but this was different.
The light refraction coming from my room gave birth to billons of stars falling slowly until they hit the white ground.
Cold was now unknown to me: I gazed in abstraction covered by warmth from behind.
"See?"
I nodded slowly - not wanting to lose this feeling but it was too late and I was being drawn back into reality.
A loud noise could be heard again.
Snow masses went down from the roof and woke me up.
I was being looked at when I came to.
Again, light reflected by my lamp and the candle which was placed on the table - everything felt as if her eyes absorbed what I had seen.
Neither could I speak nor do anything - I was numb.
"That is my winter."
She turned around, went back to the sofa.
Slow-paced I followed her to my old place.
"A or B?"
"What or who?" I asked
"No, A or B! Tell me." a far away voice said.
"B."
A sound.
My sofa creaked a little.

"So you'll order the chopped pork with wryly sauce and rice?"
"Par-don-me?"
"Sounds tasty. I'll have it."
Now I realized she held a menu from our local thai food service.
"Erm yes, why not. Let's make it two.", she gave me my mobile phone which was on my table for unknown reason.
I called.
"G'day, I'd like to order the 201 - twice please. Yes. Not too spicy; make the other one three."
I felt something pulling on my sweater - "What do you mean, not spicy?! Give it three! Or four!"
"Fine, fine. I'm sorry but could you make both meals extra spicy?. Yes I understand. And a bottle of water please. Ok, see you then, thanks."
"Really, what do you think.." she blamed me and looked on my wall.
"He said, it's going to take about half an hour. The film's still running - muted though."
"What do I care about that stupid movie, I'm going into my room and relax a bit."
She said 'My' room and off she was.
Thinking "Oh lord, this is so awkward", I tossed that very thought in my imaginative trash and got up to check my mails.
Since I was skipping a day tomorrow, I should at least write my prof a small notice that I was sick.
Outside, the snowstorm was raging.
"Half an hour... my ass." I thought and started writing.

As I finished my essay, I looked at my watch.
It had been thirty-five minutes.
Wondering what my new inmate would be doing, I rolled up a cigarette.
I went outside - it was now more resembling an apocalypse than the incredible view I had been offered before.
The wind blew strong, snow fell on my clothing, leaving traces of wet spots.
"Crap. No jacket. What are you thinking?", I shrugged and formed small circles with the blown out fume to see them destroyed by the wind.
"He's overdue."
"I know. See this mess?"
"Give that to me." she said.
"Why would I? You don't even smoke."
"Just do it, dumbass! Will you ever stop questioning?!"
I was confused. "When did I-hey!"
She held my precious, poisonous stick and looked at it.
"You know, I have never done this before."
"So..? Wait, what?"
She coughed. Blue smoke diffused above her.
"Hey! I-Are you ok?"
Coughing.
"Totally fine." Still coughing. "Don't worry about me-"
"The hell I won't. Let's go in, I-"
"I said, don't worry." she went in and slammed the door.
I heard a slight crackling - so much for my relaxation and got back in, sighing.

The door bell rang.
"19 please." I was asked for after I had taken the steaming food to my lounge.
"Make it twenty."
"Thank you very much, have a nice evening and enjoy your meal!"
After closing the door, I went to grab cutleries and two deep plates.
Still I could hear light after-effect 'cough' and so she directly went for the bottle of water, drank.
"You don't need a glass, do you?"
"When my lips start to release toxic substances, I'll need one."
As I sat down, I filled up the plates and gave her the tools.
"Thanks for the meal."
"Enjoy."
We ate - it was delicious for that price; of course it couldn't beat my own cooking but what was I supposed to do seeing how only one pack of cookies and two buns were left.

"That was good. Spicy food is the best after all - my tongue feels weird now but that was totally worth it." she grinned after finishing the huge serving.
"You bet it was. Unfortunately, I can't get you a dessert for now and you wouldn't want me to go outside now to get some ice on a remote gas station, I presume?"
No answer but a serious look.
"You can't mean to.. Really?!"
The girl sneered. "Be sure to get me a raspberry one or apple."
She gave me my scarf as if it was all settled and my sole purpose in life was to reach that gas pump.
A felt one year later.
"Yummi".
"Yummi..." I repeated.
"I could feel the raspberries being plucked fron the plants, mixed in that ice cream and then frosted."
I didn't really want to add something to her statement so I just let it slide.
"You wouldn't be able to get me some-"
"NONONONO! I beg of you!"
"...Tea?"
Without saying anything I went to my water boiler and pressed the switch, chose some random flavor and put it in a cup.

"After all, it's calm here..." my beautiful but evil curse uttered.
"How do you mean that?" I looked at her.
"See, places in the world not only differ in size, shape and surrounding. They are unique - every single spot on our world is a special one and can't possibly be the same somewhere else. That goes for this spot as well. It's all snowed in and calming compared to the big cities. I don't mean that in a way of boredom, nor do I speak of a visual expierience - it's more a feeling you get and cannot describe nor change when you enter a place. How should I call it..? A big city automatically has an unpleasant feeling to it as big cities are loud and places need to be created to keep spots safe for people.
This town, on the contrary would never be and could never be made into a city but keeping the values it is defined by - the trees, the snow, the clean air and the people living in it."
A discussion began - to such an extent I hadn't experienced during the past six months.
We went from geographical limitations over the value of a definition not which wouldn't meet the necessary conditions in a rational way but yet was valid in terms of human reasoning to how big the chance could be that this very town would cease to exist if one removed one of the parts makiing the town what it is.
In the end, she asked: "Can you judge a town's appearance knowing that your judging might change it?"
We were sitting on my couch, she had wrapped up herself in my old object of persuation, the said blanket, while I was hanging on my self-proclaimed 'boss's chair".
"No, I give up."
Never - never had this happened to me before.
Everyone makes flaws in his logical reasoning but she did not.
Neither did she use an argument twice nor was she trapped in my rhetorical chain of theses - it was too much.
Soft music was playing in the background - volume lowered to ten percent; ironically, my defeat was accompanied by a classical tune.
'Requiem'.

"Aaaah that was fun, you are one tough guy."
"We've been talking for four straight hours. It's past eight!"
"So what do we eat for dinner?"
Her eyes penetrated my senses.
"Nothing."
"Wh-what?" - breakthrough!
"I'm joking. Actually, I've bought something when I got your ice cream. It's not much but edible."
"But I'm not feeling hungry right now."
That's what is so great about frosted pizza. You can heat it whenever you want."
"We're even I guess..."
I didn't hear what she said... I was already at my desk, looking for my tobacco.
It took me no longer than fourty seconds to finish my work, I reached for my old, washed up, coat and went outside.
One puff, blue smoke.
It was cold; I shivered.
"How is all this possible.. why?"
Meaningless thoughts blown away.
"I hate winter after all." were my last words before I flipped it off and got back in.

We had already eaten when she asked me.
My couch was now occupied by her lying on stomach, skimming through a magazine.
I sat in front of my laptop; confirming my professor had read the mail.
"About tomorrow. Are you really ok with what you said?"
"Completely sure. I can't have you live here without providing a place to sleep, can I? Furthermore, I need to go buy food at the supermarket so it kinda fits." I told her, my head leaned slightly towards her direction.
"And your school?"
"Put that off for now."
"Okay, but..!" I could scent it again... she stood right next to me, leaning over a chair and watched my mouse moving at rapid speeds - until now.
I could feel her breathing.
A soft and warm breeze, even less, a gust of warmth on my skin.
"But?"
"Er.." she hesitated, yet not changing her stance.
"Don't wake me up tomorrow. I'll get up on my own. Night."
No more warmth, flowers disappearing once more around me.
"Shoul-"
"No, I'll be fine."
"Sleep we--"
And she left the stage.

"Calm... yes." I figured at least.

 

[Squiggy]

8.) A letter without a goal

I know you, yet I don't
Love you, yet I don't
I want to hold you tight
Be it rain or sun shining bright
You're all what I need in my life
Images in my head, you as my wife
Walking down a street hand in hand
One wish, you're the one who'd grant
Longing for you all this time
Worth the effort - I won't deny
Never let this moment break apart
Thinking of you; taking my heart
Don't give it back, you shall keep it forever
Cause you're my shining sun in rainy weather
It's been long time still all you need is me
However, none of my words will reach

Thus I'm sitting here and write those lines
Hope you like it if you ever pass by
I have never seen you, nor do I know your name
You're an illusion but not the one to blame
Nothing in this world can be as you are
No matter how I run, you stay afar
You're but a thought and never saw my face
Now I'm sitting here with a steadfast gaze
So leave me alone and stay at my side
Be my curse whom I can't escape and my pride
Grant me a place where I can be at ease
A graveyard is not where I want to be
Light up my life because you keep me in the dark
Drown me in pain for you are my ark
You're everything and not worth a single tear
I'll never write this letter to you. Read it, here.

 

[Squiggy]

9.) Actions speak louder than words

Thoughts revolving in my mind as she had closed the door.
I did a rough calculation on my further expenses, then noticed that the next two big investments were optionally and could be erased from my wishlist.
My stereo had been working for ten years just perfect and the new CPU unit for my laptop was higher priced than last week when I came up with buying it.
"Just what the heck is wrong with people, increasing prices just as the like" I told myself and went out for a smoke.
The snowstorm had lessened but did not seem to come to an end.
How was I supposed to sleep given the case I was into now?
I had done a lot of all-nighters lately to work on some small projects given to me by people to get some extra cash and was rather used to it but still wouldn't want to grow that into normalcy.
Smoke emerged from my cig, I leaned on my balcony grid and let my thoughts fly away.
"Impossible."

The clock struck ten when I closed my laptop.
Yawning, I looked around my room and scratched my head.
"No sleep. And it's still snowing. Might want to take a shower now."
As I went towards the bathroom, I heard a noise coming from my room.
"Must be her. Well I guess I'd better hurry up then." speaking to myself while moving onwards.
After I got out, I realized that I had to make use of my clothes of the previous day again.
Only two buns were left and no more coffee beans.
"This day surely starts off great. No coffee, nothing to eat, same clothes for the third day and she isn't up yet. Just great."
I prepared the table for breakfast and turned on my stereo on low volume to get myself going.
Half an hour passed, yet nothing to hear from my room.
"What the heck is she up to? I agreed on not waking her up but it's almost eleven o' clock and she's been sleeping for at least twelve hours now. Plus, we're supposed to get her - she is supposed to go shopping." were my words as I stood in front of the door.
A tap on the door had no result at all.
I knocked a bit louder "Coming in.. Excuse me."
Buried in my bedding, I saw something moving - her arm.
"Geez, I told you not to wake me." her index finger pointing at me.
I moved a bit closer.
"You do know it's almost lunchtime?"
"Screw that. I'm not feeling well either." she replied.
Another step closer.
She was lying on the side and had her back turned to me.
"But you need some clothes. I'll take care of the rest but you told me you wanted to buy them. After all, you've been wearing the same for a couple of days now." trying to get her to understand.
She put her index finger back under the bedspread and sighed.
"Fine. Give me a paper." She picked herself up, still covered.
I did as I was told said and watched her writing.
"There. I'll stay here." quickly responded, then threw off the paper and lay down again.
I grabbed the paper in mid-air and read:
Underwear x5, shirt x4, pants x4, top x4.
Colors, top pink+blue, pants blue+grey, shirt not red, rest white.
I gulped.
This is the only time you can do that. Sizes below. Don't get the wrong idea.
Thanks ♥
"Heh so I'm supposed to buy your clothing and your bed."
Head-shaking, I went out.

Inside the store, after buying food for 100 bucks, I decided to get help by a saleswoman as anyone would be screwed reading this.
I hesitated when being asked for whom I was buying these clothes.
'My Sister' would probably result in me getting arrested.
"I bet it's for your girlfriend. You're about the age."
She gave me a look as if I'd be ashamed when I was only thinking.
"Yes, say it's for my girlfriend." I answered to worsen the situation.
"All set, then. Let's find some nice things for your girl."
My head went amok - she had just told the whole store what wasn't even true.
We somehow managed to get everything leaving me with a couple of pretty awkward memories - worth half a payoff from work I had been saving.
"Leaves the bed, right. I'll get that home first..." I murmured and walked home again.

I felt an aching pain on my back when I arrived.
"Figures, nothing eaten yet and carrying all that stuff.." I thought and opened the door.
Inside, I looked around to see my living room just as I had left it.
"Really.. it's past three now."
After getting everything sorted, I felt a certain desire to relax watching TV.
Wandering towards my goal, I placed the different bags in front of my door and fell on my sofa.
One sip from a newly opened bottle of coke and I fell asleep.
It was a dreamless sleep and felt more or less disturbing than refreshing.
I woke up and became aware she was lying next to me, embracing me - sleeping.
"--"
She moved and opened her eyes facing mine directly.
The next I felt were he lips touching mine.
It lasted for a felt eternity and exceeded everything what I could have imagined.
A bit of saliva dripped on my sofa.
"So you bought everything." she smiled.
"Y-y-"
"Shh."
I was paralyzed, dying..
She clinged to me, I felt my arms moving around her midriff yet couldn't control them.
I looked at her, she had her eyes closed.
The soft lips of hers' opening a little from time to time.
I still couldn't believe what just happened as I fell back to sleep.

Again, I woke up.
This time was completely different from the last.
Slowly, I sat upright looking around.
I heard a sound coming from my room and couldn't help but grin.
Another sound closing the door, she stood left to my mortal remains wearing a red blue and grey pants, hair let-down and her ornament interwoven into her hair.
"So.." I wanted to start off.
"Looks good on me?"
"Well. That's not what-"
"Still, no cosmetics. This hair needs a lot of care, you know. Anyways, I do feel better now. I'll have a look at your fridge now to see what you bought for dinner. Mind if I cook? Actually, my cooking isn't the worst. Objections? No? Then it's settled."
I was speechless but tried to come up with something.
"I guess I'll change my outfit now as well."
"Do sooo~." she lightheartedly fluted.
As I had arrived in my room, it had me blast.
What the frosting hell had happened - why was she - was I..?
Make-up for the shopping? No.
But how did this.. just happen?
I went for my cupboard, thinking.
Mindlessly throwing out some clothes - a white chemise and some jeans.
The bags I had put in front of the door were now on my desk , the clothes next to them.
"I should find some place to store them soon..." I thought.

A pleasant smell arose from the door crack.

 

[Squiggy]

10.) Beliefs and Believing

13:4Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
13:5doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;
13:6rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth;
13:7beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
13:8Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall be done away; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall be done away.
13:9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;
13:10but when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-10

People tend to believe the biggest shit.
Be it a new trend on a website that aids doesn't actually exist.
Even I do - I do believe that everyone on our planet and everything living on it possesses an aura.

An aura is not something to be acquired but birth-given and can not be changed, but still influenced.
It's neither a synonym for character nor for something one can see with his own eyes, nor can it be measured.
It is a mere question of believing whether an aura is existing for oneself or not.

This does as well apply to the extent that people believe in a 'higher authority'; a God.
I, however, have never believed in such 'God' for it has been too unrealistic to believe in an entity which can create worlds, living organisms and everything we are but not stop wars, diseases, not even a crushed leg of a small cat overrun by a tire.
They say it's for a greater good but I must ask myself, where is that greater good in people dying (often related due to their beliefs), people suffering from the stupidity/grief of society or a cat not being able to walk again on it's four paws - I simply can't see it.

Now why should I believe in such a thing called aura?
I have talked to hundreds, thousands, maybe ten thousands of people and there's always the term of 'first impression'; based on the looks, gestures, ability to speak or write or even just a preset image described by others.
Would one judge a person who acts joyful a drug-addict when talking to him based on the condition that one has been told he belongs to that sort of people?
And would one curse the person who told this if a short talk resulted in that person being an elaborate, diligent human being not doing drugs or badmouthing others?
But this is what a first impression gives off.

An aura, however can not lie.
Few people notice the fact that they are being dragged towards another person no matter the condition.

Yet, it's wrong to say an aura is a magnetic activity.
It's a part of love.
Not the 'love' people mean when saying 'I love you' or 'I love how my new house looks like' - a more subtle one, close to a liking but not the same.
One can't do anything against love - be it how it starts off, towards whom it's directed or how and when it ends.

I have always believed in love in its original form - unlike how kids of 13 years tend to say 'I love you' to their same-aged boy/girlfriend.
One might call it the pure form of love I believe in; not tarnished by mass-driven lies or a need to express feelings towards each other.

It's not for a greater good.
It is just present and can never end or disappear.

 

[Squiggy]

11.A) Evening

"I wonder.."
I went to my cupboard and cleared my bookshelves to put them inside a box and free up some space for her.
All kinds of things like drawings, empty perfume bottles, light bulbs, letters and birthday cards went into that box - I then noticed I had not even read some of them.. for good; they may have held stuff I'd rather forget about.
After finishing, I unpacked the bags and lay the contents on my desk.
The tray itself needed some cleanup as well, so I opened the door to get some material.
"You don't have any jeera left."
"Pardon me?"
"Well, there's none." she said holding a cooking spoon in her hand.
"It's past eight so I can't do anything about it now. I can buy some tomorrow. Reminds me, I need to buy that bed as well, geez. First off, I'm almost done making some space for you to put your clothing on as there's no way it can stay like this."
"Oh ok."
I would have expected a bit more but shrugged and went for the bathroom to get what I needed.

Back in my room, I wiped the shelf, threw the rag in my basket and placed the clothes on it.
"I should get some other side project to work on. I didn't even buy that bed yet and my account went down by 500 bucks." I said to myself looking at the result.
My mobile phone rang, I looked at the display, declined the call.
Really bad timing for my colleague to phone me.
I went out of my room heading towards the place where my dinner was to be prepared.
"Now what are you up to, exactly?", asking
She looked at me; "Mexican pasta. Heat up the oven now, I'm almost done."
Doing so, I joked "Just make sure not to kill m-OUCH!"
The spoon got me an aching pain on my head.
"Idiot."
"Now that's a nice way to treat me.."
She returned the fire telling me that instead of whining about what I didn't even taste, I should set the table and she'd like to have apple juice for bevs since I had forgotten to buy apple tea.
"The tea's not that good anyw-wawawait!" swinging the spoon over my head again.
"Ok ok, as you wish, mylady." I resigned and headed towards the table.
I then sat down, watching her and suddenly my head was bursting with questions for which I yet hadn't received a single answer.
"Right. So about earlier.."
She stood still, slowly turned to me.
"Well.. that was.."
"A stupid coincidence - you sleepwalked and landed next to me?" I asked cynically.
"No, erm, it's just.. can't we postpone this topic a bit?"
My heart took a leap.
"I guess."
She sat down on the opposite side "Doesn't look too bad. But still, I do need those cosmetics."
"So you prefer cosmetics about a place to sleep on?"
That's.. not it-" she got up again. "Oh, I almost forgot to prepare the dressing." and off she was.
"Way to go to evade my questions, my dear." I quipped and poured some coke into my glass.

The dinner passed. It tasted great, however, I was leading it pretty much while she kept being a bit restrained.
She lay down her fork and took a deep breath.
"See, I know I've hold back about the bed and what happened a few hours before."
I got up, asked "Wait, before you go on, let me just put the dishes away, ok?" and did as I said being well aware that now I was the one evading.
After everything used for dinner had found a place in my dish washer, I stood still for a moment.

I heard my name - turned around and fell backwards.
Opening my eyes again, I was lying on my back all I could see was her face while mine was partly covered by the long hair of hers'.
Saying anything wouldn't be worth it; not that I would have been able to say a single word at all.
She got closer, I shivered a little.
My head went blank.
I felt my hand moving, touching her chin.
Everything went numb.
One second passed, then I jolted up, closed my eyes and kissed her.
Once again, a feeling of a downright liberty struck me but I didn't let go of it.. not this time.
The sensation was too much to let loose - gently biting her lower lip, drifting away to a remote world.
I ignored everything around me, even that my left arm started to tremble and was close to crack-up.
It seemed more than just a kiss; electrifying and relaxing, softer than any silk in the world.
Slowly, she moved back creating a fine salivary string which began to dip down on my shirt, then again gave me another sweet kiss and began to upend herself.
"Wait. Your bed?"
I received no response - she took me hand, gave me a bland yet charming smile.
"Don't worry about that now. Come."
Wordlessly I stood up following her obediently.
'Holy..' was all I thought as we suddenly stood in my room.
She undid her sweater, threw it on my desk chair and looked at me.
"And you're sure you are fine with this?" I asked her only to receive the same smile I saw before.
There this beautiful woman stood in front of me, her back almost fully covered by hair of lilac color undoing her hair ornament.
She grabbed one of the shirts I had bought her and slipped it on.
"Well, ok, if that's what you say..." I wondered, started to unbutton my shirt.
The view I now was offered could never be unseen - although I had bought them, this was different.
It fit perfectly.
As she crawled into my bedclothes, it got lifted a bit more.
"Pervert."
"That's a blatant lie-"
"Less talk, more undressing now." I got fired at.
As I got rid of my jeans, I turned off the lights and followed her as she held up my bedspread.
With a lowered voice, she whispered "Just so you know, if you don't want to sleep on your couch again, refrain from even trying to touch beneath my navel."
"I had no intention of doing so in the first place."
"What is you hand doing then?"
"Wait up, no worries"
I managed to start putting my arm around her while not trying to make any suspicious moves but was halfway interrupted.
"S-Stop there for a second. I need to get rid of this." her arms went into the shirt.
A few seconds later, her bra flew somewhere vaguely towards my desk.
She lay down again, nestling up to me.
How in the world was I- once more got interrupted by a soft and warm feeling on my ribs and her arm taking place on my stomach.
"Ah, that's better now."
"Better, you say..." I quietly repeated, given the situation I was in again.
"Whatever, I need my beauty sleep now."
My grandma told me, it's better to fall asleep with a smile and thus commented "That's the only thing you definitely don't need. Sleep well" and ended my performance stroking some hair off her forehead and gently kissed it.
The smile I was waiting for passed her face - within the next moment, she was asleep, steadily breathing.
It calmed me down, step by step.. until all I saw was black.

 

[Squiggy]

11.B) Sunbeams through the shutter

It was 5am when I woke up.
"Gee college, no way I'm going there - I need to write another letter to my prof" I thought and got up.
After changing my shirt for a new one, I silently went to my laptop and started to write the usual, that I still hadn't recovered and would go to a doctor tomorrow.
Clicking 'send' would grant me another day of peace before the daily life catched up again.
'12dgtacdde.rar' I read on my display.
"I wonder what is in that thingie" I murmured and clicked on the archive.
It was passwort protected so I tried my usual list on it but none of them worked.
"Meh, fuck this. I'll kill it and go back to sleep." I told myself and deleted the file.
Half asleep I put my laptop back into hibernation and lurched to the bathroom and then back to my room.
As I lay down, she whispered "What were you doing?"
"Skipping another day of coll-" I felt her arm on my stomach, then her hand touching my left one; grabbing it.
"I see.."
She turned over to the right pulling my hand along so I couldn't help but go with it.
I got a bit closer to her back knowing my right arm would be going numb if I kept this position.
"Don't let go.." she breathed; I strengthened my grip pulling her body against mine.
I wouldn't - never.

Again, I woke up several hours later.
I couldn't feel my right arm for my position had not changed one bit during the past few hours and I wouldn't want it to; being honest with myself.
She moved.
"Can we just stay like this for a little longer?" I was asked.
In favor of my body, I replied "If you raise your waist a bit, forever." and she did without questioning why so I could put my arm underneath.
The feeling was killing me a thousand times as I could barely make it move at all but I managed - and it went numb again when she eased herself.
"Can you feel it..? My heartbeat?"
My hand was brought to another place.
I could feel it.
"It's a little embarrassing.." she said but would not take her hand off mine.
'That-is-not-my-problem-here.' I thought, still got closer to her.
Closer.
I could smell her odor.
Not being able to hold on anymore, I lightly bit her neck - she twitched a little.
"N-No. If you do that.." but again didn't resist.
The room turned silent, getting alit by sunrays passing my shutter creating a moment I wanted to last for ever.
Some minutes passed until she slowly turned around.
I grinned "Morning, beauty."
"Shut it. There's no way I'm looking any near to good right now."
"Oh you should look in a mirro-"
"Right. I should get up for a second. And you bury your face into that pillow of yours."
"Why woul-mpfff" was all I could say before she stuffed it into said pillow and so I let her go off my grip
"Stay put there."
I gave her a 'thumbs up' lacking the ability to speak clearly and off she was.
Rubbing my aching neck, I returned to a more relaxant position, waiting.
Something broke outside.
Another thing broke.
Seconds later, she came in holding two cups of coffee and closed the door before she gave me one of them.
"Thanks, but I just heard something breaking into pieces."
She told me, it was a glass which fell out as she opened the cupboard. And another one got on the floor because of her immediate reaction.
"I'll put it on your bill." was my answer which lead to the always recurring reaction - stick out the tongue, stand still for a moment and go on doing whatever.
In that case, she turned my head again by 180 degrees into my pillow after putting the cup on my bedside cabinet next to mine.
"Gooood can you even give me a warning before you do that or even cut it out? I mean after what-OOOUCCCH!!"
My neck hurt even more as I fixed my position.
"Drink your coffee. Not like you're in a hurry to start the day, right?"
"Right, right.. here."
We ended up spending the whole day in bed; watching movies, doing nothing at all, talking.

I was just about to get another bottle of water when I got stopped.
"Wait. I have to tell you.. something..."
Her big eyes flashed at me so I just had to give in.
"What's the matter?"
"I'm not sure how to put it but, you see.. the last days, since we met were.. I mean.." she spoke with a stammering voice.
"I think.. I.."
My blood began to throb through my body.
Everything went hot, adrenaline gushed out.
She was pushing it, not being able to look squarely into my eyes.
I was being pulled towards her.
"I think I have... in..." she spoke into my ear.
Did she just..?
"Par-what?"
"Don't make me say it again. It's awkward enough."
Did she just confess to me?
What was I supposed to say now - nothing?
"I know you must feel pretty awful now, seeing that we just met four days ago and after all the stuff I did to-" I needed to stop her, pulled back.
"No, no, no, no! Don't start justifying yourself now! If you want to know it, I do feel the same! Ever since you walked next to me after you almost got hit by that truck! Fuck, if it's for you, I'd tear out a tree with my bare hands, throw it on the moon and make it grow apples. Now I've said it!"
"Re-Really?"
"For fuck's sake, yes. This is the truth."
My hand got wet - saw a tear rolling down her cheek.
I took hold of her body, embracing it.
"You look better with a smile on that face of yours. Smile."
A quavering "Idiot." was the answer.

A week passed during which I didn't go to college a single time.
Neither did I buy a bed nor pick up any call on my mobile.
I went to a supermarket by bike and got her various cosmetics, even stuff I didn't even knew about.
On Friday, I finally made one call to a friend of mine, telling him what I had experienced, that I had met the most beautiful woman on our planet after saving her from a hit and run case, she'd be living with me as of late, that we'd gotten from zero to a couple in no less than ten and finally I asked him if he wanted to take a look at it himself.
Naturally his answer was positive and as he was nearby, he'd be there in about one hour.
"You'll like him I suppose." I said as I hung up.
She had her arms put around my shoulders and went "Firstly, honestly? Secondly, we're a couple?"
"What would you call it, sunshine?" I asked.
"I guess.. you're right.."
"Right?" I repeated, then gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Thou I should go clean up a bit in before, looks like a bomb exploded."
So I got dressed and started to hoover up my floor while she went for a shower.
My doorbell rang.
I opened "Heeeeey wassup pal. Long time no see!"
"Awesome to see you" he responded.
"Now show me your gal."
She walked next to me, looking at him.
Pointing left to me, I told him "There ya go!"
He stood still.
"Beautiful, ain't she?"
He took a breath, then shouted:
"What the fuck! You on drugs?! There is nobody!"