Unconvinced Allies

[Moderator]

21:19, 11th Jan 2013
Orcnet: see comment

 

[UndeadImmortal]

Created by Unknown.

Please fix

 

[Mr Jubbalubba]

Fixed now

 

[Radicool]

Just watched your cinematic. To be frank, it wasn't anything special. It lacks interest.

Tips:

• Pherhaps if we see the undead plotting things. You could help the audiance understand just how evil these undead are. Who the hell are they?

• Maybe a fight or two. A little action is always nice. It depends on what kind of cinematic you are making. You don't neccicarily need action. Its just a little odd to be making a cinematic about war, just minus the actual fighting.

• Develop the important characters by revealing history, motives etc. The King at the started had informal language. But I mean, I don't really know anything else about him, what sort of person he is? This is usually achieved through the actions and choices they make. Its not really possible to address this point at all in a 4 minute cinematic. Maybe the cinematic could be a little bit longer?

• Some of the dialogue is cut too short. On a couple of the long speeches, the next talking happened before I finished reading it. Consider timing how long it takes you to read each piece of diagloue and adjust accordingly.

• There is no interesting music or sound effects. Just default human music playing. That is all. Maybe gate noises would happen if a gate opened. Teleport noises would be nice. That portal could of made a noise when it oppened. You could have ambient sounds of quiet chitter chatter amongst the soldiers when the king was walking past. Tension music could play before any fights, etc (if you decided to add a fight)

• The environment is not very interesting. For a castle, it just looks like a couple of walls holding in thousands of units standing in lines. Where are their houses? Motes? Archways? Is there a single tree in this castle? Markets? Make a larger map and you could add these features in. Pherhaps the king could talk about how important his kingdom is. How he loves his people and must protect them from the undead. The camera could move across areas of the castle, showing children playing, fountains etc. This would enhance the story and would be more interesting than showing the king talk the whole time.

• Also, instead of masses of units in lines, you could make them preparing for battle or something. You know. The undead are attacking. So they just sit in masses in courtyards or something? The only reason why they would stand in masses if the undead were literally outside the castle wall and they were waiting to attack.
  
  Archers could be shooting targets, footmen hitting scarecrows, or in light combat with another footmen. Preists could be casting something on statues or something. Peasents repairing towers. Villagers roaming around in a hurry entering their houses and their kids following behind them. Be more realistic about what is going on.

Simply put, too much talking involved, not much happening. Please consider all of my points. They are important and would really help this map. Keep working on it

 

[Mr Jubbalubba]

Just watched your cinematic. To be frank, it wasn't anything special. It lacks interest.

Tips:

• Pherhaps if we see the undead plotting things. You could help the audiance understand just how evil these undead are. Who the hell are they?

• Maybe a fight or two. A little action is always nice. It depends on what kind of cinematic you are making. You don't neccicarily need action. Its just a little odd to be making a cinematic about war, just minus the actual fighting.

• Develop the important characters by revealing history, motives etc. The King at the started had informal language. But I mean, I don't really know anything else about him, what sort of person he is? This is usually achieved through the actions and choices they make. Its not really possible to address this point at all in a 4 minute cinematic. Maybe the cinematic could be a little bit longer?

• Some of the dialogue is cut too short. On a couple of the long speeches, the next talking happened before I finished reading it. Consider timing how long it takes you to read each piece of diagloue and adjust accordingly.

• There is no interesting music or sound effects. Just default human music playing. That is all. Maybe gate noises would happen if a gate opened. Teleport noises would be nice. That portal could of made a noise when it oppened. You could have ambient sounds of quiet chitter chatter amongst the soldiers when the king was walking past. Tension music could play before any fights, etc (if you decided to add a fight)

• The environment is not very interesting. For a castle, it just looks like a couple of walls holding in thousands of units standing in lines. Where are their houses? Motes? Archways? Is there a single tree in this castle? Markets? Make a larger map and you could add these features in. Pherhaps the king could talk about how important his kingdom is. How he loves his people and must protect them from the undead. The camera could move across areas of the castle, showing children playing, fountains etc. This would enhance the story and would be more interesting than showing the king talk the whole time.

• Also, instead of masses of units in lines, you could make them preparing for battle or something. You know. The undead are attacking. So they just sit in masses in courtyards or something? The only reason why they would stand in masses if the undead were literally outside the castle wall and they were waiting to attack.
  
  Archers could be shooting targets, footmen hitting scarecrows, or in light combat with another footmen. Preists could be casting something on statues or something. Peasents repairing towers. Villagers roaming around in a hurry entering their houses and their kids following behind them. Be more realistic about what is going on.

Simply put, too much talking involved, not much happening. Please consider all of my points. They are important and would really help this map. Keep working on it

Thanks for the input i'll try and add all these things into my cinematic i just tried to give it a go.. but there should have been noises on the portal when i listened to the cinematic there was a bunch of noises to do with it... Thanks again i'll get right on it..

 

[Sin'dorei300]

Looks pretty good, though terrain can be better.

 

[Orcnet]

I'm expecting a fight off between an allied entity since that was how the title is explained but all I see is talking, and childish act I mean if dwarves and elves live longer than there child-aged ally they knew how to considerate the issues they had mainly in military failures or resources trading like how real-life war stories come by, I don't like how the racism crossing between dwarves and elves its a horrible story that the lord of the rings, and some fantasy authors made a rightful or decent situation on the matter

now back to the cinematic, its a plain cinematic the talking made the down fall of it, unless your going to build up a 1-10 story pack cinematics that will do it but I'm expecting a fight scene, spell shots, or some awesome medieval quotes shown by warcraft 3's cinematic itself

same concerns with Radicool, so anyways this map is good to go in the Map Development for improvement and feed back good luck

 

[Mr Jubbalubba]

to build up a 1-10 story pack cinematics

I did say in the details it was a start out cinematic for a campaign i was making.