- Joined
- Jan 13, 2009
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- 73
This the first part of my epic research done to prove the truth, blocked off from the world by the government.
Peanuts
By H-Bomber
I have decided to write this epic tale to reveal to the world the truth. And the truth is that a greater power exists among us, one we have never conceived to be greater then us. Yes it is the peanut. The peanut have guided our race for what we know as the beginning of time. We have been naming them for centuries, things such as angels and heroes. We believed they were like humans, we were wrong…. They were all peanuts. Well I shall give you the history of their guidance.
First there was nothing, an empty void of nothingness where those that prefers solitude would have felt at home at. Then there was a peanut, a single peanut… but it grew, to massive proportions and is now what we call the universe. Evidence of this is meteors. If you were to crack open a meteor you would find a large and succulent nut.
Also there is secret evidence the governments don’t want you to know. The earth is truly a nut. The center of the earth has been explored and is a solid nut. There are many hours of video footage yet the government is very selfish. I have personally done some research, and have come to the same conclusion. I have taken four different samples, one of a peanut, one of the outer shell of a peanut, one of some dirt in my backyard, and one of the earth’s core which I have finally reached after 4 years of digging in my backyard with a spoon. Through deep analysis of the samples I have found the particles in the earths surface are the exact same as the outer layer of the peanut, and the core of the peanut being the same as the middle of the earth. This has proven my research.
Contrary to belief peanuts are not satanic in nature; they are the essence of all that exist. They have a chemical in the structure known as (CKNS), also known as the blood of Chuck Norris. Each peanut has 0.0000000000000001 grams inside of it, and if one gram of this chemical was to be eaten you would grow a beard. If 5 grams are consumed you would experience round house kick like pains in the face region and eventually die. Only one person has survived more then 5 grams of this substance, this man being Chuck Norris who has much more then the lethal dose and seems to be immune to its effects. Another chemical in peanuts is Au, other known as Gold. Even though there are traces of gold within the heavenly nut, it is still highly edible. When salted the powers within the great nut are multiplied to gigantic proportions. Many scientists have been eluded as to why this happens, whilst other don’t give a crap. I myself have done some research and have found out why. Gold, when mixed with the blood of Chuck Norris starts to give of energy at unbelievable proportions; the energy comes from a black hole conveniently opening up when the salt reacts with the reacting gold. Thus the hole releases extreme bursts of powers, resulting in a mouth watering sensation.
I have also uncovered many stories of peanuts throughout history which have been shunned by their communities; truly no civilization till this day has grasped the truth with great acceptance and happiness, no. So far only a handful of believers accepted it, whilst everyone else has shunned the idea and believed they were crazy men, well now who is right. First I want to share an ancient Aztec story which I have found to be very interesting. I found it whilst rummaging through an ancient book found by an old friend of mine. It was titled “the True King”. I took the liberty of translating it myself. Here is a small passage from it.
“I’ve seen it, the true king. He was a giant nut floating towards me. It was in my dreams. The others, they shun me and my beliefs, but it spoke to me. It told me told not worry what the others believe, but what I believe is correct so I will be saved. I was happy, I played along with their false religion, hiding my true belief, for one day, a hero will come and reveal it to the world.”
Not the most interesting tale ever, but if you look deeper into it and compare it to other stories of the truth you will see it clearer. There are many messages in this text which reveal the truth of almost everything. There is not enough time to tell you them now, but another time, maybe. Another story I had come a cross is one from the medieval times, a story about a lone knight on a quest. He set out to go kill this supposedly dangerous creature living in a cave among the Alps. He traveled for days without aid and eventually started to lose hope. As he lay down believing he was about to die he saw a light. As he looked closer he felt his strength returning to his and he eventually saw what the light truly was. It was a peanut, and it whispered some words. It said to the knight that it was a peanut and it had come to help the knight fulfill his destiny. Once the knight had gone on and completed his quest he told the people of the peanut, but he was shunned and was claimed to be insane. Eventually from the years of solitude he went insane and murdered half the village. It is said that before he could take out the last few families the peanut appeared and disintegrated the knight before more damage could be done. This proves the Peanuts intend to protect us.
Another concept of the peanut I have researched is what powers they hold and to how much do they actually aid humans. First of all I will state a few of theses unimaginable powers they possess. Firstly peanuts can control space, time, human emotions, life and death, which gives them advantage over all sentinel life forms. They can also view into the realm of ones soul, and nothing can hide from their view. They can also read minds, create black holes, cause things to implode, explode or asplode, they can shoot laser beams, they can fly, they can create whatever the want to create, whenever they want to. They also understand all languages ever conceived, know absolutely everything, and are able to take the form of whatever they want to be, for they are peanuts. I have done research on why they can do these things and have had no success what so ever. Thus I must conclude that they have powers for they are peanuts, are we don’t because we are not peanuts. I have done research on the effects of peanuts on a human and also a zombie. I have reached something I had not ever thought I would ever prove. When I gave the human the peanut I saw the mouth get all water and the body showed signs of craving for more, but it resisted. I then gave a peanut to a zombie and had horrific results the body started mutating. Fortunately I had it strapped down pretty hard. Also the only part I removed from the body previously to the testing was the heart. It intrigued me. I got another zombie, this time I kept the heart inside the zombie, and I was shocked. It showed the same symptoms as the human, only it could not resist the symptoms as much. I did more tests of the same kind and kept getting repeated results. I conclude that the power of the peanut is too great for the human body to contain, so the heart shuns the powers and protects us. When the heart is removed the peanut consumes the body which eventually becomes so extremely mutated that it disintegrates.
Peanuts
By H-Bomber
I have decided to write this epic tale to reveal to the world the truth. And the truth is that a greater power exists among us, one we have never conceived to be greater then us. Yes it is the peanut. The peanut have guided our race for what we know as the beginning of time. We have been naming them for centuries, things such as angels and heroes. We believed they were like humans, we were wrong…. They were all peanuts. Well I shall give you the history of their guidance.
First there was nothing, an empty void of nothingness where those that prefers solitude would have felt at home at. Then there was a peanut, a single peanut… but it grew, to massive proportions and is now what we call the universe. Evidence of this is meteors. If you were to crack open a meteor you would find a large and succulent nut.
Also there is secret evidence the governments don’t want you to know. The earth is truly a nut. The center of the earth has been explored and is a solid nut. There are many hours of video footage yet the government is very selfish. I have personally done some research, and have come to the same conclusion. I have taken four different samples, one of a peanut, one of the outer shell of a peanut, one of some dirt in my backyard, and one of the earth’s core which I have finally reached after 4 years of digging in my backyard with a spoon. Through deep analysis of the samples I have found the particles in the earths surface are the exact same as the outer layer of the peanut, and the core of the peanut being the same as the middle of the earth. This has proven my research.
Contrary to belief peanuts are not satanic in nature; they are the essence of all that exist. They have a chemical in the structure known as (CKNS), also known as the blood of Chuck Norris. Each peanut has 0.0000000000000001 grams inside of it, and if one gram of this chemical was to be eaten you would grow a beard. If 5 grams are consumed you would experience round house kick like pains in the face region and eventually die. Only one person has survived more then 5 grams of this substance, this man being Chuck Norris who has much more then the lethal dose and seems to be immune to its effects. Another chemical in peanuts is Au, other known as Gold. Even though there are traces of gold within the heavenly nut, it is still highly edible. When salted the powers within the great nut are multiplied to gigantic proportions. Many scientists have been eluded as to why this happens, whilst other don’t give a crap. I myself have done some research and have found out why. Gold, when mixed with the blood of Chuck Norris starts to give of energy at unbelievable proportions; the energy comes from a black hole conveniently opening up when the salt reacts with the reacting gold. Thus the hole releases extreme bursts of powers, resulting in a mouth watering sensation.
I have also uncovered many stories of peanuts throughout history which have been shunned by their communities; truly no civilization till this day has grasped the truth with great acceptance and happiness, no. So far only a handful of believers accepted it, whilst everyone else has shunned the idea and believed they were crazy men, well now who is right. First I want to share an ancient Aztec story which I have found to be very interesting. I found it whilst rummaging through an ancient book found by an old friend of mine. It was titled “the True King”. I took the liberty of translating it myself. Here is a small passage from it.
“I’ve seen it, the true king. He was a giant nut floating towards me. It was in my dreams. The others, they shun me and my beliefs, but it spoke to me. It told me told not worry what the others believe, but what I believe is correct so I will be saved. I was happy, I played along with their false religion, hiding my true belief, for one day, a hero will come and reveal it to the world.”
Not the most interesting tale ever, but if you look deeper into it and compare it to other stories of the truth you will see it clearer. There are many messages in this text which reveal the truth of almost everything. There is not enough time to tell you them now, but another time, maybe. Another story I had come a cross is one from the medieval times, a story about a lone knight on a quest. He set out to go kill this supposedly dangerous creature living in a cave among the Alps. He traveled for days without aid and eventually started to lose hope. As he lay down believing he was about to die he saw a light. As he looked closer he felt his strength returning to his and he eventually saw what the light truly was. It was a peanut, and it whispered some words. It said to the knight that it was a peanut and it had come to help the knight fulfill his destiny. Once the knight had gone on and completed his quest he told the people of the peanut, but he was shunned and was claimed to be insane. Eventually from the years of solitude he went insane and murdered half the village. It is said that before he could take out the last few families the peanut appeared and disintegrated the knight before more damage could be done. This proves the Peanuts intend to protect us.
Another concept of the peanut I have researched is what powers they hold and to how much do they actually aid humans. First of all I will state a few of theses unimaginable powers they possess. Firstly peanuts can control space, time, human emotions, life and death, which gives them advantage over all sentinel life forms. They can also view into the realm of ones soul, and nothing can hide from their view. They can also read minds, create black holes, cause things to implode, explode or asplode, they can shoot laser beams, they can fly, they can create whatever the want to create, whenever they want to. They also understand all languages ever conceived, know absolutely everything, and are able to take the form of whatever they want to be, for they are peanuts. I have done research on why they can do these things and have had no success what so ever. Thus I must conclude that they have powers for they are peanuts, are we don’t because we are not peanuts. I have done research on the effects of peanuts on a human and also a zombie. I have reached something I had not ever thought I would ever prove. When I gave the human the peanut I saw the mouth get all water and the body showed signs of craving for more, but it resisted. I then gave a peanut to a zombie and had horrific results the body started mutating. Fortunately I had it strapped down pretty hard. Also the only part I removed from the body previously to the testing was the heart. It intrigued me. I got another zombie, this time I kept the heart inside the zombie, and I was shocked. It showed the same symptoms as the human, only it could not resist the symptoms as much. I did more tests of the same kind and kept getting repeated results. I conclude that the power of the peanut is too great for the human body to contain, so the heart shuns the powers and protects us. When the heart is removed the peanut consumes the body which eventually becomes so extremely mutated that it disintegrates.
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![Dreadnought[dA]](/data/avatars/s/134/134647.jpg?1465504677){kind=avatar}
