- Joined
- Feb 4, 2009
- Messages
- 3,174
I've been idealizing a project which I want to be artistic in many ways. And the Story is essential. I kept myself thinking it through for a while now, and I have something in mind:
A man in dark clothes walks with hurry across the Elm Street at the Oakbarrow city. The sun is low and soon the evening will fall. He arrives the orphanage which he was heading to, and knocks at the big wooden door.
The matron opens the door for him.
"Yes?"
"I come with official order to take a kid which will be transferred. Tiand Longstrider - does he live here?"
"Oh god..." - the lady expresses hesitation - "he does live here. Come in."
As the official walks in, the matron, highly concerned, tries to avoid the operation.
"If you ask me, Tiand didn't achieve majority yet, he's still 12."
"We know it, my lady. This issue is already in our concern."
"But why make hurry? The boy will be 13 in a couple of months, and if not getting any adoptive parents, leave the orphanage."
"Excuse me, my lady. I come in the name of the king Serommor and his council - these are orders which I'm accomplishing. Now if you please let me see the boy."
Reluctant, the matron leads the way to the official.
"He's probably on the third floor with other kids, at the drawing period. You can follow me..."
They reach the last level of the building and walk until the end of the corridor, where the kids are.
"There." - she waves her hand in Tiand's direction. "The boy is very talented. Other children gather around to see his drawings."
"So it is true." - says the official, not seeming interested on the matron's reaction of confusion.
The man approaches the table where Tiand is, followed then by the matron, and the boy is the last one to notice the official's presence, instead he is deep into his current drawing. Until the official picks up one of the kid's drawings and look at it closer, apparently in shock. The drawing would depict some odd creatures, and that made the official nervous.
"Hey..." - complains Tiand, surprised and at the same time annoyed - "Who are you? I didn't finish that one!"
The man looks around, at the other drawings of his. All of them seem cause the same reaction. He doesn't respond to the child's question.
"What are you drawing?" - asks the official.
"Huh? Is it bad?" - the kid seems confused.
"I'm asking what are those creatures."
The boy immediately shrugs in defensiveness. - "I don't know, I always drew them."
The official doesn't ask again. Then he tells the matron and the assistant to have the boy ready to go in fifteen minutes. - "And he should bring all of his drawings." - Due to the lack of information, the ladies didn't even know how to stand an objection.
And there was Tiand, walking along by the hand with that strange man across the Elm Street. The man, in his other hand, would carry the boy's small suitcase with the few cloth pieces he would possess and his drawings. Tiand was nervous and confused.
"Where are we going?"
The man looked at him. - "It won't take long."
Tiand understood the man didn't want to talk, but couldn't help not asking him.
"What's wrong in my drawings?"
"Nothing." - said the man, quickly.
"So why you don't like them?"
"Precisely for that reason."
The boy was thoughtful. The man's words wouldn't make much sense to him.
"Am I going to live with you?"
"No, you're not."
"So who am I living with?"
"Enough questions, little one."
Tiand was worried. All of this was too sudden, and he wasn't so sure he'd going to see his orphanage friends very soon. 'What now? Set free from that man's strong grasp or keep holding his hand?' The mind chaos he felt kept him from doing anything but resigning and waiting to see where was he being lead.
And they arrived at a building which could be read from the post sign - "Second Department of Information Security". As they got in, an attendant told the official:
"The coachman is at the backyard and waiting for your orders, sir."
"That's good, Thomas." - said the man in return.
Tiand dared to ask: "Are we going far away? I don't want to leave the town!"
"Not much. And not for long."
They got into the coach. The caravan was heading outside the city limits, as realized the boy while they were following a path across dense woods. After a few minutes they arrived a stone building that looked like a small fortress.
A man in black vests was waiting for them at the hall. He got close to them - Tiand had the chills upon realizing the man held a pair of cuffs and instantly attempted to react and escape, in vain - the official's grasp was possibly worse than the cuffs that the boy had now around his wrists. He was in shock and unable to speak, pointlessly trying to run away.
"You should learn to tell lies, Orwen. It makes things easier."
"I'd rather ommit the facts than distort them." - said the official in response, as he would drag the boy with some effort.
"Wh... what are you ommiting me?" - asked the boy with frail voice, and was ignored.
Tiand started to shout mindless things as they took him to a small room and left him there, with a fellow 'prisioner' in cuffs.
<incomplete yet>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's not much revealed yet. But that is intentional, since this is the player's perspective and it is important to make it interesting already, even without the 'macro' look.
I will keep editing the thread later. Things will be more fast paced than the intro later on. I plan to illustrate the game with illustrations like those, but maybe made in a tablet, with an according graphic language...
Thanks for reading and let me know what you think
- names are placeholder (some too generic, some possibly definitive)
- english isn't my first language, so vocabulary may be poor.
- this story is a kind of "recycle" of another one i was once making, that didn't turn out as good as i wanted
- it is far from finished, this you'll read is around 1/500 (majority will be playable later on)
A man in dark clothes walks with hurry across the Elm Street at the Oakbarrow city. The sun is low and soon the evening will fall. He arrives the orphanage which he was heading to, and knocks at the big wooden door.
The matron opens the door for him.
"Yes?"
"I come with official order to take a kid which will be transferred. Tiand Longstrider - does he live here?"
"Oh god..." - the lady expresses hesitation - "he does live here. Come in."
As the official walks in, the matron, highly concerned, tries to avoid the operation.
"If you ask me, Tiand didn't achieve majority yet, he's still 12."
"We know it, my lady. This issue is already in our concern."
"But why make hurry? The boy will be 13 in a couple of months, and if not getting any adoptive parents, leave the orphanage."
"Excuse me, my lady. I come in the name of the king Serommor and his council - these are orders which I'm accomplishing. Now if you please let me see the boy."
Reluctant, the matron leads the way to the official.
"He's probably on the third floor with other kids, at the drawing period. You can follow me..."
They reach the last level of the building and walk until the end of the corridor, where the kids are.
"There." - she waves her hand in Tiand's direction. "The boy is very talented. Other children gather around to see his drawings."
"So it is true." - says the official, not seeming interested on the matron's reaction of confusion.
The man approaches the table where Tiand is, followed then by the matron, and the boy is the last one to notice the official's presence, instead he is deep into his current drawing. Until the official picks up one of the kid's drawings and look at it closer, apparently in shock. The drawing would depict some odd creatures, and that made the official nervous.
"Hey..." - complains Tiand, surprised and at the same time annoyed - "Who are you? I didn't finish that one!"
The man looks around, at the other drawings of his. All of them seem cause the same reaction. He doesn't respond to the child's question.
"What are you drawing?" - asks the official.
"Huh? Is it bad?" - the kid seems confused.
"I'm asking what are those creatures."
The boy immediately shrugs in defensiveness. - "I don't know, I always drew them."
The official doesn't ask again. Then he tells the matron and the assistant to have the boy ready to go in fifteen minutes. - "And he should bring all of his drawings." - Due to the lack of information, the ladies didn't even know how to stand an objection.
And there was Tiand, walking along by the hand with that strange man across the Elm Street. The man, in his other hand, would carry the boy's small suitcase with the few cloth pieces he would possess and his drawings. Tiand was nervous and confused.
"Where are we going?"
The man looked at him. - "It won't take long."
Tiand understood the man didn't want to talk, but couldn't help not asking him.
"What's wrong in my drawings?"
"Nothing." - said the man, quickly.
"So why you don't like them?"
"Precisely for that reason."
The boy was thoughtful. The man's words wouldn't make much sense to him.
"Am I going to live with you?"
"No, you're not."
"So who am I living with?"
"Enough questions, little one."
Tiand was worried. All of this was too sudden, and he wasn't so sure he'd going to see his orphanage friends very soon. 'What now? Set free from that man's strong grasp or keep holding his hand?' The mind chaos he felt kept him from doing anything but resigning and waiting to see where was he being lead.
And they arrived at a building which could be read from the post sign - "Second Department of Information Security". As they got in, an attendant told the official:
"The coachman is at the backyard and waiting for your orders, sir."
"That's good, Thomas." - said the man in return.
Tiand dared to ask: "Are we going far away? I don't want to leave the town!"
"Not much. And not for long."
They got into the coach. The caravan was heading outside the city limits, as realized the boy while they were following a path across dense woods. After a few minutes they arrived a stone building that looked like a small fortress.
A man in black vests was waiting for them at the hall. He got close to them - Tiand had the chills upon realizing the man held a pair of cuffs and instantly attempted to react and escape, in vain - the official's grasp was possibly worse than the cuffs that the boy had now around his wrists. He was in shock and unable to speak, pointlessly trying to run away.
"You should learn to tell lies, Orwen. It makes things easier."
"I'd rather ommit the facts than distort them." - said the official in response, as he would drag the boy with some effort.
"Wh... what are you ommiting me?" - asked the boy with frail voice, and was ignored.
Tiand started to shout mindless things as they took him to a small room and left him there, with a fellow 'prisioner' in cuffs.
<incomplete yet>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's not much revealed yet. But that is intentional, since this is the player's perspective and it is important to make it interesting already, even without the 'macro' look.
I will keep editing the thread later. Things will be more fast paced than the intro later on. I plan to illustrate the game with illustrations like those, but maybe made in a tablet, with an according graphic language...
Thanks for reading and let me know what you think