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Scarlet Vengeance

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Level 7
Oct 24, 2008
27-06-2010: Posted Scene 1, Chapter 1
28-06-2010: 1st Edit to Scene 1, Chapter 1
28-06-2010: Posted Scene 2, Chapter 2

Chapter One: New Beginings

Brigitte woke up, exhaling deeply before finding herself shivering to the bone with her bedsheets clenched within sweaty hands. She knew for sure, or she made herself believe she did; this time assumption became fact. The vague whispers she heard over and over again, night after night, dream after dream, finally materialised into a clear message, a vision.

Nights ago, when she first heard the whisperings, they were only vague hummings - not unlike the sound produced by a busy beehive hanging from a nearby tree, but over time the hummings become more frequent... more clear. In time, hummung became whispering, and tonight, whispering became talking. Yesterday she was only able to make out syllables, only able to make out letters; this time however, she became aware of the sentence that was being repeated - repeated infinitely.

Although the message was clear, her puzzled expression gave another impression; she glanced at her diary for a final time before burrying it in her gown, she had finally decided to tell the Abbot about the strange whispers that invaded her thoughts during the past nights and occupied them during the day - the whispers that implored the same sentence over and over again:
''Come to me...''.

''This is very unlike me,'' Brigitte pondered as she closed the door of her bedroom shut ''to show myself in public without proper clothing.''
and se gave herself a quick look as she passed the mirror right next to her chambers. A plain nightgown was draped around a well-built posture, a posture expressing a soft tenderness as well as a stern authority; her long, mahogany blond hair that usually made up a tight bun at the back of her head now hung in nonchalant curls around her head and her gaze went down to her small feet just before they walked her image out of the frame as she passed down the hallway of the Scarlet Bastion.

After a short walk through the halls of the bastion she was finally nearing the sturdy wooden door that made up the entrance to the Abbot's chambers; and even though the grand corridors were devoid of life - which isn't such a strange fact, considering it's still very early in the morning and still dark outside - this still managed to struck her as a surprise. She quickly blamed it on her excited state and along with the cold radiating from the whitestone flooring that was licking her feet, she banned it from her mind - she had more important issues to think about.

Brigitte wished the Abbot a hasty good morning as she entered the incense filled chambers of the Priest.
''Good morning, my child.'' she heard the Abbot's words echo across the room, calm as always.
''I see there is something you have on your mind.'' He added, judging from the intonation of her voice.
As he stood up from the altar to turn around and face her he seemed to wince for a moment.
''You'll have to excuse me for my informal outfit, Landgren.'' She spoke in determined words now.
''There is something you should know.''

Though he retained his usual calm look, she caught the glinstering of curiousity in his eyes without much effort.
''Very well then. Have a seat, my child.'' he answered.
As she explained to the Abbot the vision that was unveiled to her past night she was surprised to find out that he, a man of incredible faith, was not experiencing similar things.
''This must be the voice of the Light though,'' Landgren tried to assure her.
''Salvation must be near, salvation from the cursed plague that sickens our lands!''
Though she couldn't help to have some skepsis, the Abbot's words managed to bring her some comfort.
''We must redouble the efforts, I want prayers increased!'' she uttered at an excited pace.
''No more half-measures, we must know what the Light commands us to do.''
The kind man smiled at her,
''That we certainly must, Lady Abbendis. But do not tire yourself too much, go back to bed and rest assured that at the light of dawn we will pray for the Light's guidance.'' he answered, tapping her shoulder once before she bowed humbly.

''Thank you, Father,''
she said before leaving the room.

For the second time this morning Brigitte got out of bed, trying to convince herself she enjoyed a good night's sleep - though the tired gleaming of her eyes implied othewise; she didn't know who she was trying to fool more, herself or her men. She would not allow her fatigued condition to burden the already crippled Crusade; she knew she had to be a strong leader for the weakened organization to prosevere. The Crusade had been suffered enough at the hands of zealous, corrupt and incompetent leaders. She burdened herself with the mistakes of others, convincing herself it was her task to undo the damage. Abbendis cared for her men and the single goal they all shared: to destroy the undeath scourge that gripped their lands so humanity would have a future.

For the second time that morning, Brigitte lifted herself out of bed - only this time, she was greeted by the day's warm light instead of the cold of the night. She stared out the window, giving her a magnificent view of the sun dawning upon the ocean's face and as pleasant sunbeams began to warm her face she tried to convince herself she had a good night sleep - though her dreamy eyes tried to imply otherwise.
''Who am I trying to fool?''
she thought to herself
''myself or my men?''.
At the moment, there's nothing she would rather do than to spend the rest of the day in bed, in dreams... she craved to hear the soothing whispers once more. But no, she had duties to attend to; she would not burden her men with her own fatigue, it was a burden that was hers to carry - just as she burdened herself with making up for the mistakes made by the previous corrupt, overly zealous and incompetent leadership; the Crusade would only be able to complete its goal under the competent rule of a strong leader: the common goal to destroy the undeath scourge that grips their lands so that humanity might have a future.

A few hours later Brigitte stood fully dressed in her platemail in front of the massive gates of the Scarlet Keep; her armor was a fantasic sight to behold: iron plates, adorned with scarlet flames and golden edges covered her entire body, her hair was once again placed within a tight bun on the back of her head and a white tabard baring the symbol of the Scarlet Crusade was draped over her battle regalia. accentuating her authority. As she awaited her mounted escort besides her stood only her squire who was left to carry her fiery war-axe along with her shield adorned - with the same Scarlet flame as marked upon her tabard - and her helmet as well. Finally a guard approached her.
''High General Abbendis, your escort has arrived!''
she glared at him, before answering: ''You are late.''
''Excuse me...'' the guard began
''Do not make the same mistake again'' she interrupted him before abrubtly turning her back to the man as she walked towards her escort.

''Let's go men'' she hissed, before mounting her steed.
''I plan to arrive at the Hand before noon.''

Last edited:
Level 7
Oct 24, 2008
Update: 1st Edit to Scene 1, Chapter 1 + Posted Scene 2, Chapter 1

Excellent writing so far, Your descriptions give life to the story. Please write more.

I'm on it, scene 2 should be finished today ;)
Last edited:
Level 3
Dec 24, 2007
Your use of descriptions in the story are great. Brigitte's feelings and actions are easy to visualize, and you have developed the world quite well. There are some spelling errors I though I'd point out:
In line 5, hummung - humming; line 13, se - she; third to last line, abrubtly - abruptly.

Other than that, the story is an interesting read so far. Please keep writing.
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