Revenge

This bundle is marked as approved. It works and satisfies the submission rules.
This is a small cinematic about a necromancer who wants revenge on the naga for killing him and becomes their lord at the end.

Help and Testers
~Misha (Models: High warlord Naj'entus, Naga death knight, Naga sorceror, Naga Deep Stalker and for map testing)
~67Chrome (for providing the skins for Naj'entus, Sorceror and death knight)
~dansaDisco (for providing the skin for the naga deep stalker model)
~xRiotZx (for grammar fixes)
~Kitabatake (for custom ruins walls, arches and a model of a key)


Hope you will enjoy this little cinematic

~Lore-Wolf~

well its my first cinematic so :)
its more for the terrain

Keywords:
naga, cinematic, lore-wolf, misha, water, sea, tropic, beginner, film, fish, swim, ruins, small, no play, movie.
Contents

Revenge (Map)

Reviews
ap0: Approved 23:42, 7th Aug 2009 Linaze: Rejected until updated -- First off, the story wasn't very good, there was this necromancer whom we knew nothing about and a bunch on Nagas who obviously hated the necromancer, killed him, then he took the...

Moderator

M

Moderator

ap0: Approved

23:42, 7th Aug 2009
Linaze: Rejected until updated -- First off, the story wasn't very good, there was this necromancer whom we knew nothing about and a bunch on Nagas who obviously hated the necromancer, killed him, then he took the form of an undead naga, killed the naga "king" and.. that's that basically. It also bothered me that the naga king had the name of a WoW boss when this had nothing to do with warcraft lore at all. Furthermore, the switch from 1st person camera to 3rd person was not smooth at all, and is surely something you should work on, and while we're at cameras, sometimes the camera was still for like 3 seconds, which looked very stiff. Finally, the battle scenes weren't that good either, two units attacking each other and some special effects, I suggest adding much more movement.
 
well, nice cinematic. I found it very original, but it can be improved :p


1) more sound effects. there were only the sounds from the special effects.
2) well, you used a fitting music, but it was a warcraft music, and you can find a better one (mapsize is low, so it doesn't matter)
3) the camera wasn't that good. You wanted to make a first person camera, but it moved wrong. It looked like the death knight would jump :O. You should take a look at that, and make the camera smoother and more first-person-stylish.
4) at the beginning, everything happened very fast. The necromancer died, becomes to a ghost, takes over the body of a naga king? it was a bit fast for me ?)
5) The battle part was boring. Well, I'm not a master in this, but ask septimus, he knows how to make a nice fight :p
6) what should the last part be? (find the hider?)
7) terrain was alright, and fits the naga underwater theme
8) Credit part was original. I liked the nagas in the background, and their animation :3



Well, it was entertaining, but it lacks sounds and better music.
Also the camera was poorly done for a first person cinematic.
One thing: The sheep went through the bookshelf! Magic!
Argh, I forgot: Please improve your description on hive :3
 
Level 15
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
1,741
well, nice cinematic. I found it very original, but it can be improved :p


1) more sound effects. there were only the sounds from the special effects.
2) well, you used a fitting music, but it was a warcraft music, and you can find a better one (mapsize is low, so it doesn't matter)
3) the camera wasn't that good. You wanted to make a first person camera, but it moved wrong. It looked like the death knight would jump :O. You should take a look at that, and make the camera smoother and more first-person-stylish.
4) at the beginning, everything happened very fast. The necromancer died, becomes to a ghost, takes over the body of a naga king? it was a bit fast for me ?)
5) The battle part was boring. Well, I'm not a master in this, but ask septimus, he knows how to make a nice fight :p
6) what should the last part be? (find the hider?)
7) terrain was alright, and fits the naga underwater theme
8) Credit part was original. I liked the nagas in the background, and their animation :3



Well, it was entertaining, but it lacks sounds and better music.
Also the camera was poorly done for a first person cinematic.
One thing: The sheep went through the bookshelf! Magic!
Argh, I forgot: Please improve your description on hive :3

yep thats what i want to know (Please improve your description on hive) what sould i doo :S
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
515
give them a little taste of the cinematic fx pick and epic scene could be good,make story bigger make the background of the naga and necromancer and put up, tell how he got killed(unless you want it to be secret) thats some of the stuff. maybe put up the length of it and if you get some music tell the name of it incase they want to listen to it again
 
Level 5
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
105
Okay, I'm gonna watch this and after I will give a review

(EDIT)
My Review:
1) Fight scene was very boring
2) Wait syndrome
3) Storyline- I didn't get the storyline. From my perspective, this story is about a necromancer who was was stranded on an island for many years. He is revived and kills the Naga king for no particular reason.
4) Music/SFX- You needed more SFX in your cinematic. There was no music in this cinematic except for Warcraft.
Improvements:
I know nothing about the necromancer. There's no background information on him. It just says that he was stranded on an island for years. Also, he is named Necromancer and deathknight throughout the entire cinematic. Maybe you could give him a name.
 
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Level 12
Joined
Dec 13, 2008
Messages
1,055
i do not believe this deserves a rejection, especially on the basis that the moderator did not like the fact that the end boss was a "WoW boss"....but there are things to be improved. more story, better camera angles/transitions, etc.

3/5, could be improved, NAGA FTW
 
i do not believe this deserves a rejection, especially on the basis that the moderator did not like the fact that the end boss was a "WoW boss"....but there are things to be improved. more story, better camera angles/transitions, etc.

3/5, could be improved, NAGA FTW

I agree! Why do you mind if it has a WoW name, since it's my model?

or would the mighty moderator indulge us and figure out a more suitable name? >3
 
Hey its time for a little review!
-----------------------------
Terrain: Your terrain is fantastic! You may have spend long time on it. 5/5
Sounds: You could add some sound effects and some other background music. 2/5
Camera: Your camera was fine, and i like your idea with the first person camera, but could use some improvements. 4/5
Grammar: I doesnt found any words that was spelled wrong. 5/5
Other: I enjoyed the cinematic and i really loved some scenes. The first whirlpool was amazing! But the next two whirlpools after the scene with slaves could be improved. 4/5

Overall: 20/25

-----------------------------
 
My Review:

My Ratings Value:
5/5 for Perfect
4/5 for Really Good
3/5 for Good
2/5 for Fair
1/5 for Bad
0/5 for Horrible
For Overall Rating:
15 - 20 for Perfect
10 - 15 for Really Good
05 - 10 for Bad
00 - 05 for Horrble

Story:2/5, the story is basic, but also odd, cuz he takes a naga's corpse and enters the naga "land", where he just kills alot of the nagas and then kills their boss and thats it.
Quests:-
Combat:3/5, the combat was also just basic, its like as if you right clicked the target and then he died with 2 hits.Make it more intense, by doing the fight scenes with attack animations and etc.
Sounds/effects/skills:3/5, there is music, yet no custom music.add custom music to it, cuz the file size is not a matter.
Terrain:3/5, the dungeon terrain got repetitive, it all looked like the same "room", add more variety.
Gameplay/Fun factor-
Overall:11/20, thats not a low score, but is very close to 10.If you improve the things i suggested, then ill make it 13 or maybe even more.(But youll have to priv message me, so i remember to check this again)Good luck!
 
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Level 7
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
133
:infl_thumbs_up: I liked

- The first person system, which is always very great to see and fully dives the spectator in the action.
- The environement, well nicely done.
- Custom models are now always a must for me. I'm quickly boring when i play maps or cinematics with old basic wc3 models, so i congratulate you for this ^^

:spell_breaker: I didn't like

- The camera's moves, sometimes too slow which is slightly boring (for example, when the hero is turning around to see the slaves). You have to fix some camera moves' speed.
- The action of the beginning, so quick that you understand what happened only 2 sec after the end of the scene -__-. Makes this part slower and it will be perfect.
- The story, a bit simple, and not enough described.
- The music isn't customised. It's not so disturbing, but you could at least use more of stuff from wc3 ost. I dunno if i heard one or two different musics, but i'm sure it's really not enough diversified to grants a fine background to your story.
- Last point, not the less, is the fight. The moderators already said it, but i totally agree that the fights must be improved with additional unit's moves, sfx and special animations.

:nemor: Overall

I enjoyed watching your cinematic, even your first and third person system needs some fix, it was nicely done. Think about the camera speed and the fluidity of the camera moves.
There is some things very interesting in your cinematic, like the whirlwind in the waterhole, the environement, and some humor touch. Visually, this is appreciable, but next time, i think you should reflect more about the story and its continuity.

Rating : 4/5
Keep up the good work :)
 
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