- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 48
What do you think, what does it need, i need criticism... Goes wit my maps, I tell you never write to a warcraft map, not a lot of freedom, write the story then the map.
Part 1 – “The Beginning”
Chapter 1 – The path
Kensai looked over the rich high mountains of Japan which were beautiful in the setting sun, with the towering cherry blossoms swaying gently in the breeze, a humble voice from behind suddenly ceased his inspection of the unique flora.
“Kensai, we must not delay the village is close.” The voice said, not kindly but not aggressively either.
“Yes Ymato, I am aware we shouldn’t stop.” Kensai replied through clamped teeth.
“Shall I give the order to move on then?” Ymato’s question hung on the air for a moment, and then Kensai replied, “Yes go on.”
“MOVE OUT, Spearhead formation,” at the last command the sixteen men moved into a triangular formation around Kensai, then proceeded to march onward, Kensai nudged his horse Elavign.
The, party moved onwards at a slow pace. They marched up the stony path among the colourful foliage. There was a complete silence, no happy birdsong, the only sounds were the marching.
They rounded a sharp bend in the path, at that exact moment Kensai noticed this, absence of sound, this absence of movement except of his own men.
“Ymato… Ymato?” Kensai asked quietly,
“Yes Sir,” Ymato replied just as silent, aware of Kensai’s softer tone.
“Ymato… Can you hear anything?”
“I can hear us,”
“No I mean birdsong, animals.” Kensai very seriously asked,
“Well… umm no sir,”
“And wouldn’t you think in a virile forest such as this, there would be some ambience?”
“I suppose there should be some, what’s your point!” He asked somewhat annoyed at Kensai’s long spoken manner.
“Remember the docks in Singapore, that ambush, where we lost four men?”
“I will not forget that soon, Kensai.” Ymato bit his lip whilst saying that, remembering them, they were good men.
“And at those docks it was completely silent, till those Ghouls attacked!” Kensai spat those words out of his mouth.
Understanding immediately dawned on Ymato, he had to warn his men.
“Men watch for an am…!” He was cut off as a black shafted arrow cut through the air and straight into a nearby soldier’s neck.
“BUSH!!!” Ymato yelled.
Suddenly Overlords stormed through the delicate foliage and into the confused soldiers, wielding their huge double sided speared of cruel steel. Three men fell before an effective line was formed, Skeleton archers shot arrows out of the tree’s.
“Encircle Kensai, Archers inside, blades to the outside!” Ymato’s blood curdling yell, easily overpowered the screams of the demons and the clash of steel on steel.
Kensai slung his bow from his back, flicked an arrow from his quiver and nocked, then took aim at a large skeleton archer in a nearby tree “Ieẳwia!” he shouted, his arrow’s head immediately burst into neon blue flames, he released. The arrow arced over the battle and majestically smashed into the skeleton’s skull, resulting in a small explosion, the shockwave of which suddenly knocked the skeleton archers off their trees and splintered the tree which that skeleton archer had being shotting from. The skeletons which fell from the tree’s splinted into pieces as they met the ground. The overlords, hesitated at the sudden destruction of their allies, suddenly fearful, they quickly fell as the soldiers fighting them took advantage of this momentary lapse in their concentration
Chapter 2 – The Town
The soldiers grimly marched into town, they had lost seven men, seven good men and had three wounded, the remaining six were carrying the bodies and the wounded. People rushed from their homes to see the travellers, they quickly saw the wounded and carried them to the healer.
Julia was by nature a Celt, but when she escaped the poverty of her country, she found in her wanderings this village, they had need of a healer, and she needed a home. That was the end of it, she was pale skinned due to life in the highlands, and had long red hair, which she wore down. She had a warm smile, but her personality was scarred from her homelands and wanderings, the starving people, it was worse then demons tearing people apart before her.
There was a knock on her door, she opened it, the villages were outside, and some soldiers. They had wounded. “Quick inside, bring only the wounded.” A few men carried in the wounded, including a man in a mail plate, he bore a great blade and carried two wounded, his dark hair was just at his eyes, he wore a grimace and obviously felt for the wounded. The first wounded man was on the table, “What is your name?” she asked,
“Yngvar miss,” His words were short and soft. The darkhaired man with the mail, watched her, she placed her hands on the man’s chest and spoke in a soft voice for awhile.
Yngvar started to glow golden, The darkhaired man stood up, “What are you…” he started angrily if somewhat fearful that she was hurting him, then to his amazement, the wounds on Yngvar started to knit themselves together. A large bloodied shard of spear gradually wound its way out of his belly, and then it sealed and he was good as new, the glowing stopped. Yngvar stared “You, you saved me, how, how can I ever repay you.”
Julia replied “By getting some rest, there’s bed out the back.”
She healed the rest of the men in the hour, as she went to her basin to wash her soft bloodied hands, the darkhaired man approached her.
“You saved their lives, you saved them, you are truly great,” He stuttered.
“Well nice to meet you too,” Julia replied in her thick accent.
“Oh umm, I’m Ymato, commander of these men,” He stuttered again, quite lost for words.
“I’m Julia, Healer for this village,” she calmly replied, very aware of his loss of words.
“I see, thankyou so much,” He added.
“No problemo,” she rather coolly added.
“Sir!” A soldier came in,
“Yes Degnem?” Ymato, was quite annoyed at this interruption.
[FONT="]“Kensai requests you.”[/FONT]
Part 1 – “The Beginning”
Chapter 1 – The path
Kensai looked over the rich high mountains of Japan which were beautiful in the setting sun, with the towering cherry blossoms swaying gently in the breeze, a humble voice from behind suddenly ceased his inspection of the unique flora.
“Kensai, we must not delay the village is close.” The voice said, not kindly but not aggressively either.
“Yes Ymato, I am aware we shouldn’t stop.” Kensai replied through clamped teeth.
“Shall I give the order to move on then?” Ymato’s question hung on the air for a moment, and then Kensai replied, “Yes go on.”
“MOVE OUT, Spearhead formation,” at the last command the sixteen men moved into a triangular formation around Kensai, then proceeded to march onward, Kensai nudged his horse Elavign.
The, party moved onwards at a slow pace. They marched up the stony path among the colourful foliage. There was a complete silence, no happy birdsong, the only sounds were the marching.
They rounded a sharp bend in the path, at that exact moment Kensai noticed this, absence of sound, this absence of movement except of his own men.
“Ymato… Ymato?” Kensai asked quietly,
“Yes Sir,” Ymato replied just as silent, aware of Kensai’s softer tone.
“Ymato… Can you hear anything?”
“I can hear us,”
“No I mean birdsong, animals.” Kensai very seriously asked,
“Well… umm no sir,”
“And wouldn’t you think in a virile forest such as this, there would be some ambience?”
“I suppose there should be some, what’s your point!” He asked somewhat annoyed at Kensai’s long spoken manner.
“Remember the docks in Singapore, that ambush, where we lost four men?”
“I will not forget that soon, Kensai.” Ymato bit his lip whilst saying that, remembering them, they were good men.
“And at those docks it was completely silent, till those Ghouls attacked!” Kensai spat those words out of his mouth.
Understanding immediately dawned on Ymato, he had to warn his men.
“Men watch for an am…!” He was cut off as a black shafted arrow cut through the air and straight into a nearby soldier’s neck.
“BUSH!!!” Ymato yelled.
Suddenly Overlords stormed through the delicate foliage and into the confused soldiers, wielding their huge double sided speared of cruel steel. Three men fell before an effective line was formed, Skeleton archers shot arrows out of the tree’s.
“Encircle Kensai, Archers inside, blades to the outside!” Ymato’s blood curdling yell, easily overpowered the screams of the demons and the clash of steel on steel.
Kensai slung his bow from his back, flicked an arrow from his quiver and nocked, then took aim at a large skeleton archer in a nearby tree “Ieẳwia!” he shouted, his arrow’s head immediately burst into neon blue flames, he released. The arrow arced over the battle and majestically smashed into the skeleton’s skull, resulting in a small explosion, the shockwave of which suddenly knocked the skeleton archers off their trees and splintered the tree which that skeleton archer had being shotting from. The skeletons which fell from the tree’s splinted into pieces as they met the ground. The overlords, hesitated at the sudden destruction of their allies, suddenly fearful, they quickly fell as the soldiers fighting them took advantage of this momentary lapse in their concentration
Chapter 2 – The Town
The soldiers grimly marched into town, they had lost seven men, seven good men and had three wounded, the remaining six were carrying the bodies and the wounded. People rushed from their homes to see the travellers, they quickly saw the wounded and carried them to the healer.
Julia was by nature a Celt, but when she escaped the poverty of her country, she found in her wanderings this village, they had need of a healer, and she needed a home. That was the end of it, she was pale skinned due to life in the highlands, and had long red hair, which she wore down. She had a warm smile, but her personality was scarred from her homelands and wanderings, the starving people, it was worse then demons tearing people apart before her.
There was a knock on her door, she opened it, the villages were outside, and some soldiers. They had wounded. “Quick inside, bring only the wounded.” A few men carried in the wounded, including a man in a mail plate, he bore a great blade and carried two wounded, his dark hair was just at his eyes, he wore a grimace and obviously felt for the wounded. The first wounded man was on the table, “What is your name?” she asked,
“Yngvar miss,” His words were short and soft. The darkhaired man with the mail, watched her, she placed her hands on the man’s chest and spoke in a soft voice for awhile.
Yngvar started to glow golden, The darkhaired man stood up, “What are you…” he started angrily if somewhat fearful that she was hurting him, then to his amazement, the wounds on Yngvar started to knit themselves together. A large bloodied shard of spear gradually wound its way out of his belly, and then it sealed and he was good as new, the glowing stopped. Yngvar stared “You, you saved me, how, how can I ever repay you.”
Julia replied “By getting some rest, there’s bed out the back.”
She healed the rest of the men in the hour, as she went to her basin to wash her soft bloodied hands, the darkhaired man approached her.
“You saved their lives, you saved them, you are truly great,” He stuttered.
“Well nice to meet you too,” Julia replied in her thick accent.
“Oh umm, I’m Ymato, commander of these men,” He stuttered again, quite lost for words.
“I’m Julia, Healer for this village,” she calmly replied, very aware of his loss of words.
“I see, thankyou so much,” He added.
“No problemo,” she rather coolly added.
“Sir!” A soldier came in,
“Yes Degnem?” Ymato, was quite annoyed at this interruption.
[FONT="]“Kensai requests you.”[/FONT]
