Black Temple Comedy

[Moderator]

16:35, 31st Jul 2010
ap0calypse: Rejected

 

[-Kobas-]

LOL you have nice cinematic there!
But you still need to fix some stuff:
Start with map description at first place!
Then remove cunematic borders etc ingame looks bad!
Fix camera a little, don't make it stop!
Remove black color from light forces

All else look ok...

EDIT:

Created by Blizzard Entertainment

FIX that also!
You created this one not blizzard, but give credits to them for terrain!

 

[light bolt30]

Change author name. According to the rules, it has to have originality; you didn't create that terrain yourself but just used blizzards, which has no originality.

 

[rastas301]

Forgive a noob but what do you mean by "Remove black colour from light forces"? And "Start with map description at first place" "Then remove cinematic borders etc ingame looks bad"

I probably sound like an idiot but I'm not sure what you mean by these.

On the originality thing, do you mean it's a bad thing to shoot this on a blizzard made map? I didn't realise I was breaking any rules sorry!

Fixing the Author: Blizzard thing too. Such a silly mistake ugh just crack me over the head now!

 

[-Kobas-]

No you are not idiot
But I don't have time to write whole review and attach large number of links that will help but here are few for start:
The importance of a Description [09 May 2009 17:41] created by ap0calypse
and BB code list!
About Cinematic Borders and cinematic itself

Also if you want check this one, isn't about map:

Click

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[rastas301]

Thanks a lot -Kobas- =) I updated by description hope it's better!

I won't make it too formal unless this thing gets bigger.

Changed a few things in the map, not much though only enough to be barely noticeable. I did the thing with cinematic borders but I think it looks better with them! I dunno I might have done the wrong thing but if it's what the public wants then so be it! Haha.

How about it Hive, who wants Episode 2?

 

[Vuormalainen]

I would give this 2/5.
Good goin with the dark and lightning effects.

I would give it 3/5 if you removed the silly end.

 

[BlackCat500]

Alright, so...I watched it. To be perfectly honest, it made me smile, but not laugh. One thing you could try to improve it with would be voice acting. As it's not a particularly huge map, it probably wouldn't be too hard to do. But by voice acting I mean presenting jokes as you mean them, with spirit. Whenever I watch comedy, the mimics and pronounciation etc of the comedian make up for most of the comedy by themselves..and as this map is generally disadvantaged by not having those things (because of limitations or the lacking of such) it wasn't able to bring the point across too well for me.

Well, that's what I think. I'm always criticizing too much, so don't mind me.

 

[zahav]

Great Map, Good Job!
i give that 4.97 out of 10.
you should add voices, cut voices from movies and paste them to the line there is a cinimatic when that pitlord says You Will Never Take My Throne Weaklings. or something like that. if you need jokes then i got some: Paladin: We will take your throne AND your Chair, PitLord: No NOT MY CHAIR its a demonlogic handwork it costed me 1000 ArchiDolars.

 

[rastas301]

I would give this 2/5.
Good goin with the dark and lightning effects.

I would give it 3/5 if you removed the silly end.

This whole idea is about silliness =)

2/5 hurts but hey I shouldn't be expecting 5/5 for a first map ^^

Alright, so...I watched it. To be perfectly honest, it made me smile, but not laugh. One thing you could try to improve it with would be voice acting. As it's not a particularly huge map, it probably wouldn't be too hard to do. But by voice acting I mean presenting jokes as you mean them, with spirit. Whenever I watch comedy, the mimics and pronounciation etc of the comedian make up for most of the comedy by themselves..and as this map is generally disadvantaged by not having those things (because of limitations or the lacking of such) it wasn't able to bring the point across too well for me.

Well, that's what I think. I'm always criticizing too much, so don't mind me.

Great Map, Good Job!
i give that 4.97 out of 10.
you should add voices, cut voices from movies and paste them to the line there is a cinimatic when that pitlord says You Will Never Take My Throne Weaklings. or something like that. if you need jokes then i got some: Paladin: We will take your throne AND your Chair, PitLord: No NOT MY CHAIR its a demonlogic handwork it costed me 1000 ArchiDolars.

Hmmm. Voice acting. Unfortunately I'm an army of one so all the characters would sound similar. I have a voice editing program but it's not very good I can create decent demon voices, but that's about it.

I'll give it a shot with Episode 2. Love the joke by the way! ^^

EDIT:

Perhaps I could attempt to organise members of the Hive community to do voiceovers. I could send them the script, they can record it, and send it back.

A bit of a long shot, but not impossible.

 

[takakenji]

Great Map, Good Job!
Paladin: We will take your throne AND your Chair, PitLord: No NOT MY CHAIR its a demonlogic handwork it costed me 1000 ArchiDolars.

thats not funny at all

 

[BlackCat500]

About the voice actor recruiting: I've seen people do it in the past and it usually works to some extent. You don't need all voices, right? You can look for one or two more people voicing, then have them change voices. Everyone has a natural ability to change their voice..and if you have voice changer software yourself, you will be able to extend that by even more possibilities. It's never a bad thing to try, anyway.

 

[BlackKnightTGS]

Nice map-I mean, cinematic! I liked it, it was...funny I'll give it a 4/5 (like the second installation of the series). I like your Black Temple Cinematics, keep up the good work

 

[BloodRedSandman]

ehh....
nice cinematic but the only problem was that it was all black just black i understood what they were saying from the subtitles but other then that every thing was black

 

[Septimus]

I would just make my review short

-The camera was way too stiff that it could hardly call an cinematic at all.
-The lighting effect was way overkill, the atmosphere is soo dark despite there is an fire and torch. I could hardly see what is going and hardly know what's going on. If it is not for the dialog, I don't even know what the hell is this cinematic all about.
-The scene where the human attack was boring, it was just another scene where a thundering horde of army swarm through and smash the place apart.

In my opinion, it isn't ready for approval yet. I would just let the moderator decide it.

 

[Vengeancekael]

As a member of the Group Map Reviewers, I will be reviewing campaigns/cinematics :

Review - Black Temple Comedy A cinematic by rastas301 Camera : The camera needs to move all the time. Fix that. Terrain : The environment doesn't look like outland at all, too flat, too empty, some doodads don't fit etc. Story : There is no story, it's just some demons and humans trying to make a comedy series. However, I don't think this is funny at all and without voices it's just too boring. Animations : No animations were used in the conversations. Other : Nothing. Hiveworkshop : You have written an acceptable description. Overall : I'd say this is far from complete and needs to be funnier to be considered as a "comedy". Final Rating : 1/5