1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. The member Kam is making HIVE coasters. Take a look. For every coaster you buy, Hive gets $1.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it. Join (Optionally) Paired Techtree Contest #11 - Techno Magic now!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Dismiss Notice
  5. Hero Contest #8 is up and running! This time it's a joint contest between artists and coders. Go here for team matchmaking.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. The ninth Concept Art Contest has launched. Enter now!
    Dismiss Notice
  7. Our first StarCraft contest, The Galaxy Terraining Contest #1 - World Wonders has started. Enter to show off your Galaxy Editor skills and win a custom rank icon among other things.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. Ever wanted to get your sets ready for fast texturing while still having fun? Now it is possible with our newest Mini-Texturing Contest.
    The Skeleton Units need your dire help!
    Dismiss Notice

Somebody tells you to kill yourself, What do you do???

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Herman, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. Herman

    Herman
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    877
    Fairly recently, a bit of a pathetic friend of mine (well more of a kid I don't like saying I am friends with), told me his little sister told him to kill himself

    He tells me he said "Ok I will!", and I said to myself "Uhhhh.... huh?"

    I mean, that is a retarded comeback, but I really couldn't come up with a half-decent comeback that he should use

    So I just said, "That was a dumb thing to say"

    He says "Oh but thats what your supposed to say, if somebody tells you to kill yourself"

    ...the fuck?

    Usually I would say something along the lines of "If that was me I'd just <insert intelligent response here>, not say something dumb like 'I'm gonna kill myself, waah!!' "
    Heres my question:

    "What do you do when a person tells you to kill yourself?"
     
  2. Hakeem

    Hakeem
    Joined:
    May 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,503
    "I tried but the anthrax letter never got back to me."

    I could go on and on.
     
  3. Kuhneghetz

    Kuhneghetz
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,580
    I would say "No, but I wouldn't mind to kill you".
     
  4. Herman

    Herman
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    877
    I like that one, gotta say it holding an empty expression xD
     
  5. DarkIron Dwarf

    DarkIron Dwarf
    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    459
    Hmmm Usally i am pretty tall compered to most people so i would just pick them up and throw them.
     
  6. Herman

    Herman
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    877
    I don't know if I mentioned this fellah is a bit pathetic, I had heard recently he was quick at boxing, but he's maybe 60 pounds and about 6 inches less than I am (I'm about 6'1 + 190lbs.)[For all you metres people, DEAL! x)]

    And, he was talking to his little sister, I don't know how his poor mother would react to her daughter flying
     
  7. Razorbrain

    Razorbrain
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    1,165
    "I will if you do it first"

    its just classic :p
     
  8. Zombie

    Zombie
    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,173
    that depends. If my friend tells me to kill myself, I tell him/her "Fuck you" (usually in a friendly way) . When one of my relative tells me I say, "Haha, very funny, screw you" (in a ruder way than I speak to my friends) When someone whom I don't know tells me to kill myself, either I ignore him/her or just say "Fuck you"
     
  9. Technomancer

    Technomancer
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    279
    "I already did. Can't you tell?"
     
  10. GST_Nemisis

    GST_Nemisis
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    3,600
    the usual comeback in london would be "go die in a fire you prick" and its actually happens alot, usually followed by people starting fires.
     
  11. HeretoDLstuff

    HeretoDLstuff
    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,094
    If I keep looking at you, I will.

    Acually, Ok I will isnt bad. They normaly can't say anything back. After that act really smug and stuck up. Then theres nothing to say back to you and It really annoys them.... With some things anyways, this might not be the best situation to use that tactic though.

    My brother allways says things like "So what to you!" Really, reallllly smugly and waves me away, or says "Well so what" when it has NOTHING too do with the convorsation. He says it really smugly and makes a face that.. well.. looks like it needs too be flushed? (Luckly I dont ever do that..) It really annoys me and normaly isnt much to say back.

    Another good thing is to mock what a terrible insult it is. It implys they are far to weak to do it themselves and they have no original insults on hand, and they were clearly bugged by you, (If you were trying?)

    Ive never been told to go die, though. I generally dont have very many fights like that...
     
  12. Herman

    Herman
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    877
    Yeah me neither, I'm pretty glad too, I would need a good comeback in my memory bank atm to not sound like a schmuck ><

    I just remembered a few of the most simplistic and somewhat funny comebacks I used to use often

    "Go kill yourself"
    "Never."

    "Go kill yourself"
    "No, You do it"

    Offtopic - a few comebacks/jokes I remembered I would say with my friends

    Friend - "Yeah, well FUCK YOU!"
    Me - "No." (Assertively, don't forget to stare them in the eyes)
    Friend - "What am I supposed to say 'Yes??' "

    In order to use any of those, you kinda require an expressionless face until you get the effect you were looking for

    ...and lastly the overall generic null all insults comeback
    Friend - "<insert insult here>"
    Me - "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I DON'T HEAR YOU TALK!!!" (Of course jokingly, but don't forget to be unnecessarily loud and angry, usually you will get a decent laugh)
     
  13. MySpaceBarBroke

    MySpaceBarBroke
    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2007
    Messages:
    3,554
    I have no experience on this topic, as I am usually the one saying the aforementioned phrase. However, if put in such a situation, I shall reply thusly so:

    Why? Are you too pussy to do it yourself?
     
  14. ~Void~

    ~Void~
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2007
    Messages:
    6,438
    Yeah, "fuck you" usually works for me.
     
  15. Herman

    Herman
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    877
    Oo oo oo I got one

    "Go kill yourself"
    "Thats a retarded idea, and you should jump off a cliff for thinking up such a dumb idea"
     
  16. Hakeem

    Hakeem
    Joined:
    May 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,503
    So how many people just came up with these when they posted?
     
  17. MySpaceBarBroke

    MySpaceBarBroke
    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2007
    Messages:
    3,554
    Just calculate the ratio of the amount that are unfunny to the total amount posted.

    It's 1:1.
     
  18. Technomancer

    Technomancer
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    279
    I improvise. One time someone told me to kill myself, in a sort of joking way, and I went "D'aaw." and tied an imaginary noose around my neck. And then they were like, "SHIT, DON'T DO IT MAN". Good times.
     
  19. SantaBla

    SantaBla
    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Messages:
    443
    "Omfg! HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH SUCH A GOOD INSULT that doesn't give me any room for comebacks!!!!" (excited)
    *Clap hands*
     
  20. HeretoDLstuff

    HeretoDLstuff
    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,094
    Yeah, well im Mr. Goodie-goodie and dont use bad words.