Yay, a quick jko song! (trying mass multies)

[JarrardKO]

Ya I'm practicing "multies" as they say. I'm not really looking for what you thought of the content of the rhymes, just how they rhyme together and if they work or not.

I is in ur forumz, posten me sour songz,
I'm dissin you board chums by boasting three hours long.
Feeble retards with baffled IQs like a thinking mule,
refill the cars with apple juice while they drink the fuel.
Neatened or a word essay mess? To cry "OWNT BITCH" or not?
PM your answer messages to I_DONT_GIVE_4_FOCKS. (Real account!!! I promise!!)
Praise full revenge, thumbs up to this whole dishing back true hurt ideal,
thanks to real friends, a stuck up middle finger back to jerks for real.
Well peeps see though eye to find that I'm easily a hyper brainy lad,
but dwell deep into my mind and you'll see I'm a maniac.
Last I dated, we kiss and hold hands, I took a dry huge large knife,
'cause I hated and killed any shallow man who looked at my future wife.

~_~, feel free to comment if you wish.

 

[Undead_Lives]

Well, there are some that don't rhyme (lad and maniac) and there's not really very impressive rhymes in there anyways.

(Also, why write "songz" instead of songs or song, your rhyme doesn't work that way)

 

[UchihaSasuke.gr]

I don't think it's good.Like Undead_Lives said you use much of ''z''

songz
forumz etc.