Ultimatum Ways Series [Story]

[Warseeker]

Ultimatum Ways : The Burning Project

A Story Development made by Warseeker

...

Nobody has realise that the World of Azeroth is under observe by intelligent and unusual creatures since the begining, they study and watch each step forward, claiming their own possession of domination and destruction, a force of salvation ready for the redemption and born with veangeance, waiting for the perfect moment to strike...again...

Desperate and sick from having unsuccessful attempt of domination, fail after fail, taking all nesseccery mesure to ensure their plan but still, having enough done with desperate chances of success, A chaos legion of Demons usually known as the Burning Legion had taken recent mesure and causes to throw down their ultimate strike on Azeroth.
After the BloodElves Race menage to destroy the last Demon Lord -Kil'jeaden the Decever- when he attempt to enter the world of Azeroth by the Sunwell of Quel'Thalas. Having failed and submit the same faith of Archimonde, The Burning Legion are no longer to be underestimted or taking easly, as all the races of Azeroth thought they will, No one knows what are the consequences to pay, what would happen Kil'jeaden Fall, The Burning Legion are quite silent since that day...

But who knows, is truly mean the Burning Legion are no longer taken consideration of re-conquering Azeroth once by their brutality, or is just a waiting, a waiting for a perfect moment with an udiseputed plan for destruction, shall Azeroth fail or will champions rise against this freaking choas army.

Represting the Burning Legion leader on behalf Kil'jeaden, Tichondruis the leader of the Netrizims has spoken for an emergeny plan for a new invasion of Azeroth, with the assisstance of Mephstroth, Kel'thuzard and an agreement of Kil'jeaden, the Burning Legion had no other option but to unleash their final assault on Azeroth which is the Burning Project...

 

[Daffa]

Argh, the verbal error is too much to comprehend. Also, as far as memory preserves, stories uses past tense.
Aside from that, I think it's quite decent.

Here's a warp up fix for paragraph one.

It's been ten years since the Blood Elves vanquished the last Demon Lord "Kil'jeaden the Deceiver'' and dealt with the former leader of the Blood Elves ''Kael'thas sunstrider'' after his treason...
A few days later, The bloodElfs made their way to rebuild once again their home ''Quel'Thalas'' after she suffered a lot of pain, massacre and heavily damaged... caused by the invasion of the Scourge during the third war. With the aid of the ''Forsaken'' whom helped them during the battle against the undead, they rebuilt their home. After that, The Blood Elves manage to re-purged the Sunwell and bring him back to the way he used to be.

I added some sentence and rewording to make it more logical, at least to my perspective. I also set the tense to past tense.

 

[Warseeker]

Just edited, thanks, you know the weird thing about my campaign is that it's supposed to be a ''French Campaign'' my warcraft 3 is in french language, it's was first made in french (Maps/Cinematic/Object Editor...) and then I desided to turn it into English version (For the Hive workshop)
That's why I had such issues with language...

 

[Daffa]

bloodElfs

Should be Blood Elf (Singular)/Blood Elves (Plural)
I forgot to modify that in my fix at previous post.

 

[Warseeker]

Can some one please tell me how to hide the story inside a poster like [E]clipse did on his story!http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/...oncept-creation-291/story-my-campaign-263347/

 

[Daffa]

Use hidden tag :

[hidden=Story]Content[/hidden]


Result is :

Story

Content

 

[Warseeker]

Thanks!

 

[WhiteFang]

A few mistakes

click

Kil'jeaden -> Kil'jaeden
heavily damaged-> Heavy damage
''Kael Betreyal'' -> "Kael's Betrayal "
ennemie -> enemy
responsable behind the destruction -> responsible for the destruction
Succesfuly defaited the Lich King -> After successfully defeating The Lich King
return to Quel'thalas accompany with his followers -> returns to Quel'thalas accompanied by his followers .

Also,

those last ones have prood a new leader for the bloodElves

I'm not sure what this means

Don't feel bad though,everybody makes mistakes and I'm not english either

 

[Warseeker]

Thanks! And the last ones = BloodElves.

 

[WhiteFang]

I see you have marked some names in Act one with colors.I think you shouldn't use dark blue there since it's hard to read.
Here is a tutorial by Chaosy.You can get some tips from it and see what colors are best to use: http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/tutorial-submission-283/map-thread-guide-271816/

 

[Warseeker]

Of Thank you so much! This is exactly What I'm looking for! It's very helpful!!

 

[WhiteFang]

Of Thank you so much! This is exactly What I'm looking for! It's very helpful!!

You're welcome

 

[Warseeker]

Hello! I've just edited the 2 & 3 campaigns, btw it's nothing special yet, and I'm sorry for the grammar....

Edit : Hey! Do you think it's wil bel wise to wrote the whole story of the four Acts like Wikipedia or just make it as an introduction only and let the player him self discover the whole story by progress ?

 

[Daffa]

Give spoiler warnings.

 

[Warseeker]

Here is a new story for this expedition