The lands of Atwa

Level 7
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
336
I wrote this thinking I would make a campaign about it, but it never got that far. But I figured I might aswell post the story so I could get some reactions on it and eventually pull myself together and make the campaign :wink:

The Lands of Atwa – The environment of Atwa

Atwa was a big isle located in the oceans in the world Juirnoi. The lands of Atwa were often ravaged by battle. A battle between two races. A battle between humans and orcs. The humans lived in the southern areas of Atwa while the orcs lived in the northern parts. The lands of Atwa had various climates. Both the southern and northern parts had a rather average temperature. In the eastern parts were some of the coldest areas of Atwa many few animals lived there. The western parts were mostly decollated because of the areas' barren terrain. Atwa was also covered with high amounts of forest. About 70% of Atwa was covered by forest.

The Humans – Rulers of Atwa

Territory: The humans were the most common race in Atwa. They have lived on the isle of Atwa nearly as long as the elves. The humans came from the continent of Prudkorv located south-west of Atwa. The humans lived in the southern areas of Atwa and there they had lived since they arrived on the isle.
Burning Star: Not many wars were fought between the humans but the king was in constant conflict with the cult Burning Star. The Burning Star studied the dangerous arts of demon magic. When the humans arrived at Atwa such things were legal (Demonic Magic is still legal on many other lands in Juirnoi). But after the Second War, demonic magic was illegalized. A few years later the Burning Star was formed. In the first couple of years they tried to get demonic magic legalized again. But when that didn't work they turned to other methods. They started using dark magic and did it in deep secrecy.
Religion: Most of the humans believed in the goddess Piera. Piera was a goddess from the elven religion. But the humans were fast to adept this part of the elven religion.
As mentioned before some humans also believed in demonic arts.


The Orcs – The Brutes of Atwa

Territory: The orcs is the second most common race in Atwa. They can be found in the northern parts of Atwa. The orcs came to Atwa a few years after the humans. The place the orcs came from is still unknown. (Rumors have it they came from a whole other dimension.)
They quickly inhabited the northern mountains known as the Thundercrack Mountains. Why is also uncertain but it seemed like they were used to live in great heights.

Religion: The orcs didn't believe in any gods. Instead they believed in the elements of the nature. They had many rituals including offerings of animals and captured enemies.


The Elves – The wisest of Atwa

Territory: The reason for the many battles was actually an area occupied by another race, the elves. The location of their territory was located in the middle of Atwa and therefor had a good strategic position. But the soil of the elven territory was also very rich on precious stones such as diamonds and sapphires. These rare stones weren’t really used by the elves but the other races, mostly orcs and humans, used them in big amounts.
The Council: Even though the elves had been in peace with the humans in many centuries they considered them self as higher beings. But that wasn't all elves that shared that opinion. The ones that did called themselves The Council. They thought elves were higher beings and therefore meant they were better than other races. If someone stood in the way of the council they often disappeared without a trace.
The elven king had for many years tried to eliminate The Council but hadn't succeeded. The Council had the habit of using orcs as their pets. The orcs was mostly used for kidnapping, murders and such. Members of The Council was often hard to track since they mostly used their magic powers to mind control elves or other creatures of”higher intelligence”. The Council also made a big effort in being anonymous even to other members.
Religion: The elves worshipped the great goddess Piera; they believed that she had made Atwa to give her servants (The old elves known as High Elves) a place to live. The elven religion concentrated on protecting and honoring the nature around them.




The Dwarfs – Tradesmen of Atwa

Territory: The lands of Atwa also hosted dwarfs. The dwarfs lived in no particular area they lived where the ground were rich on precious stones and other things. Where there was mountain with rare ores in it dwarf could be found (Except the Elven Mountains). The dwarfs were one of the oldest races of Atwa. But they were first discovered by the human during the fourth war. The reason to that was that the dwarfs used most of their time in their gigantic mine shafts. Now after they were they discovered they use more time out of their mines to trade with the other races.
The Holds: The dwarfs liked to have a more neutral relationship with the battling forces. But the Darkore Hold had befriended the orcs and the Ironfist Hold had made friends with the humans. These two groups made no threat to the opposing forces but the materials they sent to either the human or orcs was more powerful than the average material and was used to make special and magic weapons.
Religion: The dwarfs had no real gods. They believed in a good bargain. (At least for the dwarfs themselves.)


The Ogres – The biggest of Atwa

Territory: Since the ogres were mutated orcs they never had any real territories. The most concentrated amount of ogres was found in the north though.
Heavy Weapons and Tribes: Ogres was used as orcs' heavy weapons. They were the ones to push the catapults and to smash the gates of human cities.
The ogres were more stupid than their orc masters and were paid with what they called”Shiny Stuff”. Often these things were just polished iron or bronze ore. But even though the ogres were stupid they made a deadly enemy. Especially for the dwarfs. The ogres was often sent into dwarven mines and could easily destroy many corridors and slay big amounts of dwarfs.
The orcs had put the ogres into small groups, the so called tribes. The tribes had only one real purpose. To make it easier for the orcs to command them.
Slaves of Farmers: They were also used as slaves for the humans. Their size made them perfect for working at farms and at building sites. But ogre slavery was dangerous business. Ogres were about five times the size of a human and the ogres wasn't the most loyal race in Atwa.

Goblins – The smallest of Atwa

Territory: The goblin territories were taken from them by the orcs. They weren't really in an alliance with the orcs so the goblins often lived in exile and hidden from the rest of the world.
Goblins were often associated with the orcs. Their main interest was to steal”Shiny Stuff” from ogres. Most of the stolen items were delivered to the orcs so they could defend the goblins.
Some of the wiser goblins also made their living by having the ogres worship them. The ogres did this because as they said”Dey be too small to be mortal.”
Few humans used goblins as slaves but goblins wasn't good to work hard and long so they were quickly replaced by ogres and other creatures.


The Seventh War – The Battle of Atwa

The Seventh War – The Battle of Atwa

With the crowning of the human king Sir Athoin the third the orcs sighted a weakening in the human defenses. King Athoin had chosen to use fewer resources on the human's military powers because of several years with peace.
The old and wise leader of the orcs, Murh'karh chose to gather an army quick and strike while the humans weren’t expecting them. The orcs ravaged much of the land on a few days. Murh'karh's forces began to slow down and finally they captured some key positions that made life for the humans difficult and most of them lived in deep poverty.
The king soon realized he needed to gather up the forces that he had, not long ago, sent of duty. There was only one problem. His highly beloved Imperial Guard had been dispatched to defend the outer regions of his country, and now the only remaining generals ready to lead his army into war were newly trained, and had actually never been to war themselves.
But the newly trained generals were only to gather the forces. They would, if everything went according to plan, never command their battalions in battle against the orc’s main forces. So Sir Athoin decided to sent out word for them after all…
 
Last edited:
Level 10
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
362
I really Like it alot and I like how you went to the storyline of each things and it was cool that you took time to explain each race. If you end up making a campaign for this I would be glad to help/test.
 
Level 7
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
336
Well atm I don't got much time, but if maybe I'll try to start it in my limited spare time :smile:
 
Level 6
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
129
The Lands of Atwa – The environment of Atwa

Atwa was a big isle located in the oceans in the world Juirnoi. The lands of Atwa were often ravaged by battle. A battle between two races. A battle between humans and orcs. The humans lived in the southern areas of Atwa while the orcs lived in the northern parts. The lands of Atwa had various climates. Both the southern and northern parts had a rather average temperature. In the eastern parts were some of the coldest areas of Atwa many few animals lived there. The western parts were mostly decollated because of the areas' barren terrain. Atwa was also covered with high amounts of forest. About 70% of Atwa was covered by forest.

Orcs vs. Humans is very overused, so it will be hard for you to pull it off.

The Humans – Rulers of Atwa

Territory: The humans were the most common race in Atwa. They have lived on the isle of Atwa nearly as long as the elves. The humans came from the continent of Prudkorv located south-west of Atwa. The humans lived in the southern areas of Atwa and there they had lived since they arrived on the isle.
Burning Star: Not many wars were fought between the humans but the king was in constant conflict with the cult Burning Star. The Burning Star studied the dangerous arts of demon magic. When the humans arrived at Atwa such things were legal (Demonic Magic is still legal on many other lands in Juirnoi). But after the Second War, demonic magic was illegalized. A few years later the Burning Star was formed. In the first couple of years they tried to get demonic magic legalized again. But when that didn't work they turned to other methods. They started using dark magic and did it in deep secrecy.
Religion: Most of the humans believed in the goddess Piera. Piera was a goddess from the elven religion. But the humans were fast to adept this part of the elven religion.
As mentioned before some humans also believed in demonic arts.

I can see you are going for the classic "feudal" theme for the humans. Pretty much the same as all the other human races from fiction, although you spiced it up a bit with the Burning Star. I can forsee them starting out as a political movement and evolving into a powerful/dangerous cult.

The Orcs – The Brutes of Atwa

Territory: The orcs is the second most common race in Atwa. They can be found in the northern parts of Atwa. The orcs came to Atwa a few years after the humans. The place the orcs came from is still unknown. (Rumors have it they came from a whole other dimension.)
They quickly inhabited the northern mountains known as the Thundercrack Mountains. Why is also uncertain but it seemed like they were used to live in great heights.

Religion: The orcs didn't believe in any gods. Instead they believed in the elements of the nature. They had many rituals including offerings of animals and captured enemies.

It seems like you are making the orcs the more common "brutish" style. Although you have thrown in a shamanistic wc3-orc-style flavor to it, the mention of human sacrifice makes it a new brutish-shaman kind. Perhaps you could use this as a chance to make their beliefs bastardize the idea of nature itself (i.e. offerring sacrifice to the land because they think it thirsts for blood, summoning elementals as a means to let the land murder its enemies).

The Elves – The wisest of Atwa

Territory: The reason for the many battles was actually an area occupied by another race, the elves. The location of their territory was located in the middle of Atwa and therefor had a good strategic position. But the soil of the elven territory was also very rich on precious stones such as diamonds and sapphires. These rare stones weren’t really used by the elves but the other races, mostly orcs and humans, used them in big amounts.
The Council: Even though the elves had been in peace with the humans in many centuries they considered them self as higher beings. But that wasn't all elves that shared that opinion. The ones that did called themselves The Council. They thought elves were higher beings and therefore meant they were better than other races. If someone stood in the way of the council they often disappeared without a trace.
The elven king had for many years tried to eliminate The Council but hadn't succeeded. The Council had the habit of using orcs as their pets. The orcs was mostly used for kidnapping, murders and such. Members of The Council was often hard to track since they mostly used their magic powers to mind control elves or other creatures of”higher intelligence”. The Council also made a big effort in being anonymous even to other members.
Religion: The elves worshipped the great goddess Piera; they believed that she had made Atwa to give her servants (The old elves known as High Elves) a place to live. The elven religion concentrated on protecting and honoring the nature around them.

I am very against the idea of a "perfect race", the title which the elves seem to always take. I would suggest adding more flaws to them, yet still make them believe they are more perfect than they actually are.

The racist council is a good idea, especially due to their anonymity. I could see them being a faction spoken of as a sinister group, but not appearing until much later. When they do come it would have to be with a bang, as in you suddenly discover they are taking over everything.

The Dwarfs – Tradesmen of Atwa

Territory: The lands of Atwa also hosted dwarfs. The dwarfs lived in no particular area they lived where the ground were rich on precious stones and other things. Where there was mountain with rare ores in it dwarf could be found (Except the Elven Mountains). The dwarfs were one of the oldest races of Atwa. But they were first discovered by the human during the fourth war. The reason to that was that the dwarfs used most of their time in their gigantic mine shafts. Now after they were they discovered they use more time out of their mines to trade with the other races.
The Holds: The dwarfs liked to have a more neutral relationship with the battling forces. But the Darkore Hold had befriended the orcs and the Ironfist Hold had made friends with the humans. These two groups made no threat to the opposing forces but the materials they sent to either the human or orcs was more powerful than the average material and was used to make special and magic weapons.
Religion: The dwarfs had no real gods. They believed in a good bargain. (At least for the dwarfs themselves.)

Typical dwarves. The fact that there are two different holds helping two different sides creates a division, but still doesn't make the dwarves dynamic enough.

The Ogres – The biggest of Atwa

Territory: Since the ogres were mutated orcs they never had any real territories. The most concentrated amount of ogres was found in the north though.
Heavy Weapons and Tribes: Ogres was used as orcs' heavy weapons. They were the ones to push the catapults and to smash the gates of human cities.
The ogres were more stupid than their orc masters and were paid with what they called”Shiny Stuff”. Often these things were just polished iron or bronze ore. But even though the ogres were stupid they made a deadly enemy. Especially for the dwarfs. The ogres was often sent into dwarven mines and could easily destroy many corridors and slay big amounts of dwarfs.
The orcs had put the ogres into small groups, the so called tribes. The tribes had only one real purpose. To make it easier for the orcs to command them.
Slaves of Farmers: They were also used as slaves for the humans. Their size made them perfect for working at farms and at building sites. But ogre slavery was dangerous business. Ogres were about five times the size of a human and the ogres wasn't the most loyal race in Atwa.

You definately put a twist on them by making them the "slaves" of the story. I think this part doesn't need much change. Just remember to continue making slavery their theme.

Goblins – The smallest of Atwa

Territory: The goblin territories were taken from them by the orcs. They weren't really in an alliance with the orcs so the goblins often lived in exile and hidden from the rest of the world.
Goblins were often associated with the orcs. Their main interest was to steal”Shiny Stuff” from ogres. Most of the stolen items were delivered to the orcs so they could defend the goblins.
Some of the wiser goblins also made their living by having the ogres worship them. The ogres did this because as they said”Dey be too small to be mortal.”
Few humans used goblins as slaves but goblins wasn't good to work hard and long so they were quickly replaced by ogres and other creatures.

Thieves of the story, I suppose that works out. I would try to stay away from the wc3-capitalistic-goblin style and go for a more mischievous gremlin style.

The Seventh War – The Battle of Atwa

With the crowning of the human king Sir Athoin the third the orcs sighted a weakening in the human defenses. King Athoin had chosen to use fewer resources on the human's military powers because of several years with peace.
The old and wise leader of the orcs, Murh'karh chose to gather an army quick and strike while the humans weren’t expecting them. The orcs ravaged much of the land on a few days. Murh'karh's forces began to slow down and finally they captured some key positions that made life for the humans difficult and most of them lived in deep poverty.
When the king first heard of this he gathered a group of heroes to battle the brutish orcs. The heroes met in the little town Grollslof. There they would start their journey. Their journey to battle. Their journey to judgment.

Here is the part of the story I dislike the most. If I were you I would take out
When the king first heard of this he gathered a group of heroes to battle the brutish orcs. The heroes met in the little town Grollslof. There they would start their journey. Their journey to battle. Their journey to judgment.
completely. You really need to find a different way to start the adventure of your hero. The king would have assembled an army to stop the orcs, not a band of heroes (any "heroes" would all be commanders of different armies, so there is no reason they would just abandon them to go solo when they can lead thousands of men). Its just way to cliche.


With improvement, this story will work out quite nicely though.
 
Level 7
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
336
Thank you for your reply Ghoulrush
I am glad that you liked (most) of my story, and I am aware of the parts you are pointing out is a bit lacking, especially the ending.
When I first started this story I wanted to do an RPG (where the ending still would be unrealistic, but somewhat fitting).
But I later changed my mind and I'm now doing a Campaign. At this time I already changed some basic ideas about some of the races (giving the orcs a more civilized way of living), and I’m also trying to make the ending more realistic.
In the campaign you will start of by yourself, but already from map 1 you will end of commanding your own little battalion of men.
I haven’t updated the new storyline due to lack of time and the fact that it’s not anywhere near finished. So for now you have to do with this one :wink:
 
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