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The Call of War

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Haha! Hoho! Hey everyone, it's Nerzhul again, with a new story that I think should be remarkable. Recently, I had picked up World of Warcraft again and am hitting the Alliance with my FROSTSHOCK!, for free in fact, on a private server. One of the servers on this particular one was a strict level 40 Battlegrounds one, and let me tell you... my imagination has gone CRAZY with all the violence... anywho, here it goes. And Brad, I expect you to review this!
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The Call of War
Chapter 1: Answering the Call
Why have the Spirits brought me here... to the Gulch of Warsong, in Ashenvale? I have answered their Calls before, but those were of the Elements... Earth, Fire, Water, and Air...

"It is the Call of War, Grimwolf," said Gar'gal, my Orcish companion who favors combat over knowledge. "You're a wise Orc, and a wise Shaman on top of that!"

"The Call of War? Have you gone mad, Gar'gal?" I asked him.

"I think not. But why wouldn't the Spirits-" he began, only to be interrupted by a loud horn. It was deafening, and all around us Horde warriors-Orcs, Trolls, and Tauren-charged down the hillside of Warsong.

"CHARGE!" he shouted. They were hungry, I could sense it. They had an instatiable bloodlust waiting to be satisfied. I had mounted my black war-wolf and had followed the mob North, towards Silverwing Hold.

"TO THE HOLD! LET NO ALLIANCE MEMBER STOP YOU! KILL ALL IN YOUR PATH! CHARGE!" shouted Gar'gal, one of the Horde's High Warlords, and the one incharge of the operation. We were to simply destroy the Hold, and steal their resources. Although when we got to the foot of the Hold, things did not look so simple. A line of Night Elves, bows strung, stood there. One had her hand raised, which meant a volley of arrows was about to be let loose.

The Night Elf lowered her hand and put it to her blade, and her sisters let go of their arrows. I was nervous, for the Spirits were telling me that many of my brothers were falling. But I did not care. I continued forward, a wolf amongst hounds, ever-ready to answer the Spirits' final call: the Call of War.

The Warsong Outriders overran the Night Elves' line of defense, and had dispatched them easily by trampling them. More Elves had fell out of the Hold, and had slowly began to match our numbers. One of them, a male (which was a rare sight in any Elvish army) had attempted to strike my with his blade. I let his sword penetrate my chest, and I had grinned at him malignantly. I pulled it out, and stuck my bear-claw into his, and he died. But I was quickly rejuvenated by the Spirits' healing powers of Water, and I had re-entered the fray.

The rush was remarkable. The feeling of shoving my blade into an enemy was more than satisfying-it was like a gift from the Great Spirits themselves. But the Night Elves were able to push us back, to force us to retreat back to the foot of the Silverwing Hold. Despite this, the Outriders were persistent, and reinforcements kept coming. In my heart, however, I knew that the battle for Warsong Gulch has just begun.


Chapter 2: Captured!
Things were looking worse and worse for my brothers and I. I had sensed much death and chaos, on both sides. But there was just too many of them... too many Elves about! I dug my blades into their filthy purple backs and chests, but for each one fallen, another ran down into the gulch and replaced him. The Spirits began to tell me to retreat... but I could not listen to them. Once the wolf tastes a drop of blood, he is sent into a frenzy, and only death can stop him...

...Unfortunately, death came to someone I hold dear to me. I sensed an arrow flying towards Gar'gal, but before I could urge him to move out the way, it hit him, and he fell. I whispered a prayer under my breath, and I continued the battle.

In the end, we could not hold them off... only a handful of us remained. Gorshfang, an Orcish hunter, Garmohk and Nartuh, two Tauren warriors, and I stood back to back, facing the Elvish onslaught.

"Come closer, Elves! Let me impale you on my horns! Let me rip your puny little arms off!" shouted Garmohk. Bows were strung, and arrows were pointed towards us.

"Brother..." whispered Nartuh, "we cannot take them all... put your weapon down!"

With a grunt and a sigh and an angry face, Garmohk tossed his massive battle-axe onto the ground. Gorshfang lowered his bow, and an Elf approached us.

"So, you thought you could defeat the might of the Elves, eh?" he said with a chuckle.

"No..." I said, spitting on the ground. "I thought I could fry your innards with my lighting, burn off your face with my fire, give you a terrible frostbite with my water, and maul you with the strength of the earth."

"Strong words for someone about to die..."

"If the Spirits wish me to die, so be it. I will return to them gladly, if it is their will."

"Since you prefer to die, I will decide to not grant you your wish. Infact, I will let you suffer alive while I take you and your party to the High Priestess Tyr-"

"Please..." said Garmohk. "I don't want you to waste my entire day sounding out Priestess whatever-the-hell her name is' name."

"How dare you?!" snapped one of the Sentinels.

"Chain them up and load them in the wagons. We journey to Darnasuss!"


Chapter 3: The Requiem of the Spirits

"Alright, we camp here," said the Night Elven leader, sitting down next to a recently ignited fire. "Leave the prisoners in the wagon, make sure it is tied up!"

"At once, captain!" said the Sentinels. They didn't realize it, but just tossing us into a wagon without guarding us would be their downfall. At once we got to work on our escape.

"Alright my brothers... this is our chance! When the Elves go to sleep, we strike! I will show them my knowledge of the elements. Garmohk and Nartuh, you will break the wagon with your mighty arms. Gorshfang, you help me take down the guards. Understand?"

"We are prepared, Grimwolf!" they said together.

"Good! Now rest up. The hour of victory is at hand."

At midnight, we all had waken up and prepared ourselves. Garmohk and Nartuh began to try to break the wagon's wooden walls, it's weakest part. I began to channel a lighting bolt, and Gorshfang strung his bow. I tossed my lightning right at the face of their leader, which had deformed his already-ugly face even more so. Gorshfang fired his bow and hit another Elf in her eye, and the two Tauren and broken the wagon.

"COME FORWARD, YOU COWARDLY ELVES! SPIRITS OF STORM, EARTH, FIRE, AND WATER, HEED MY CALL!" Dark clouds loomed above the night sky. Rain began to fall. Thunder and lightning roared and blazed. The earth trembled and opened up, swallowing the Night Elves... alive. Water came and pushed them into a nearby river, where they drowned. The fire was brought to life and stalked the Sentinels like a hawk does to his prey. Arrows flew from our enemies, but were broken by the power of the elements. Gorshfang fired his own arrows, which hit their marks with deadly accuracy. Garmohk and Nartuh sliced, diced, and cleaved their way through the Elvish camp.

As the smoke cleared, as the fire dissipated, as the water evaporated, as the earth closed up, we stood victorious. The bodies of the Elves were at our feet. The Alliance will remember the night they were struck by the sight, sound, smell, and power of the HORDE!
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Alright guys, remember, RATE AND REVIEW. I don't want one-answer stuff like "great" or "cool", but rather the pros and cons of my story. That means YOU, brad! I want you to tell me if this meets your expectations of what I am capable of in terms of writing! Come on!
 
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There are some typos, but no more than you'd expect in a rough draft, I think. Still, read it over and check your spacing, there-vs.-their, etc.

"The Night Elf lowered her hand aggressively"...that's a very awkward phrase. What does it mean to lower your hand aggressively? Did she chop her hand down; did she clench her fist and pump her arm; did she flip the bird at the Horde? I agree with Void here: when you're describing combat, specific=awesome.

"...and had dispatched of them easily by trampling them with their wolves." It should be "...and dispatched them easily by trampling" etc. "Dispatched of" is poor grammar, and you probably don't need the extra "had". (In fact, I suppose you could rewrite the whole sentence as "The Outriders and their wolves had overrun the Night Elf lines.")

That said, I'm looking forward to Chapter Two.
 
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You should understand that, despite being an O.K. writer, I'm only thirteen. I'm still in 7th grade (or what's left of it), just so you know.

But I'll fix it.

Edit: I edited it slightly, now time to work on chapter two... and by the way, if you're interested with playing with me on the private server I play on, hit my with a PM. I'll be more than happy to give you the info you need to start kicking Alliance butt at my side!

Edit 2: Finished chapter two. Read and tell me what you think! I may just release chapter three right afterwards.

Edit 3: There we go! Chapter two AND three uploaded on the SAME FLARKIN NIGHT! Wow, you guys are lucky people!
 
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Oh dear. You'll want to use a different phrase, I think... :wink:

Er... yeah, on that. So... whadaya' think about the next two chapters? My school's librarian told me that I should try to add more character interaction, but I replied stating that I believed totaling dismembering Night Elves is enough, if not TOO much, character interaction.
 
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There are a lot of ellipses in Chapter 2. You could probably replace some of them with dashes, periods, or exclamation marks. As far as character interaction, normally it's always a good idea. The problem is this story is based on Warsong Gulch, which is basically a thinly veiled excuse for player characters to chop each other up. :grin: Not much depth there. Was your librarian specific about what kind of character interaction she wanted?
 
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I think she wanted to see things other than mindless violence. The reason I wanted to make this story is because I felt most other stories are lacking in combat. Almost ALL stories I've heard of (when describing combat) don't do it like I did here. They don't include the feelings of the combatants, and basically detailed descriptions of what exactly is going on. For example:

The rush was remarkable. The feeling of shoving my blade into an enemy was more than satisfying-it was like a gift from the Great Spirits themselves.

Grimwolf CLEARLY states how he feels. Not just "they had a war". Oh no. It's more detailed than that, which is something I'm proud of.
 
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That's the thing with Warcraft's races. Most of them are wussies except for Dwarfs... I think. Warhammer and Tolkien's Orcs/Orks are bad-to-the-bone. Besides... what's an Orc without going berserk for a little while, huh?
 
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That IS true. But Warhammer Orks are crazy. You must admit that an Ork totally owns ANY Orc other than Uruk-Hai, who fight in organized masses.
 
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