Short Story

[Gallin]

A quick short story I wrote.

Its a zombie story.

Bam!

It shattered the stillness the peace. It brought back the madness of all I was thinking. Am I really who I was. Can I even call myself a person after all I have done. All the unspeakable actions I have committed.

A single sound brought all this back into my head. I started to run. Not of my own accord but as if an outside force was driving me. No making me do what I did not want to. I didn't want to run but I needed to. It was like an addictive drug. I need more and I was going to get it. Weather I wanted to or not. As I ran faster and faster I could see. No not see I couldn't see but I knew what I needed was around the corner.

I turned the corner and saw what I needed. A group of survivors running dropping their guns as they went blank. I jumped over dead bodies of the others like me. Frantically speeding after what I needed. One tripped and stumbled. I jumped biting into her neck quenching my need. Making her like me. I started to cry inside trying to stop myself but unable to. Knowing that all too soon I would have to do it again. I ran after the rest of them going to my eventual doom.

 

[Fussiler1]

A quick short story I wrote.

Its a zombie story.

Bam!

It shattered the stillness the peace. It brought back the madness of all I was thinking. Am I really who I was. Can I even call myself a person after all I have done. All the unspeakable actions I have committed.

A single sound brought all this back into my head. I started to run. None of my own accord but as if an outside force was driving me. No making me do what I did not want to. I didn't want to run but I needed to. It was like an addictive drug. I need more and I was going to get it. Weather I wanted to or not. As I ran faster and faster I could see. No not see I couldn't see but I knew what I needed was around the corner.

I turned the corner and saw what I needed. A group of survivors running dropping their guns as they went blank. I jumped over dead bodies of the others like me. Frantically speeding after what I needed. One tripped and stumbled. I jumped biting into her neck quenching my need. Making her like me. I started to cry inside trying to stop myself but unable to. Knowing that all too soon I would have to do it again. I ran after the rest of them going to my eventual doom.

It's good, but you forgot to add question marks in the first alinea.
Also, you need to add some commas at some places.

 

[Gallin]

I have never been good with commas.