Real News Thread

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Firefighters rescue 30 stone pig from first floor flat where it ate Chinese takeaways | Metro News

Two-year-old Twiglet, who weighs 30 stone, had been advertised as a ‘micro-pig’ and sold for £60 to a grandma who always wanted a pig.

She slept on a mattress, was toilet trained to use a litter tray, and was fed on Chinese takeaways, chocolate and porridge.

At first, she was tiny but she soon ballooned to be larger than a baby elephant.

Twiglet The Pig is my new spirit animal.
 
Level 6
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133
Use of shitty washed out dance remix as backdrop. CHECK.

Speaks to the weaker members of society, like women, horses, and Australians. CHECK.

Reference to Taylor Swift. CHECK.

Tries to blame everything on alcoholism. CHECK.

aka shit and clearly fake news. Without alcoholism there would be no real news. Check out this guy trying to make good with the environment by mating with a pile of leaves. Drunk man 'tried to have sex with a pile of leaves' in a hotel car park
 
Level 6
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
133
Level 6
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
133
Honest Government Ad
I'm so sorry man, but these are insanely preachy and cheap. "Behold, I am saying something very exaggerated but my painfully stupid grin and super obvious voice inflection makes you understand that I'm not actually for real!" - What an incredible format! And suuuper subtle!

But I guess they plug their merc and ask for money for almost a minute of the video, so at least there's that... Either way, quit posting them! Take a note from @Lord Esdin instead -- he's starting to get real news figured out by the looks of it.

And because it's been a while since I last posted, here's some lady in Florida who did to her landlord's face what I did to that sham of a video. Florida woman throws bucket of human feces on landlord, deputies say
 
Level 6
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133
@Feng Shui I'll try finding more left-wing news for ya.
I'm pretty sure you're just saying words at this point. But just so we're in the clear, Honest Government Ad and the Juice Network is extremely left-leaning.

Politics ain't real news though, baby doll.

By the way, my money's on that Jonah Falcon is a scheming slut and Roberto is the true big dick bandido.

'Penis Man' Graffiti Keeps Popping Up in Tempe
 
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