Real News Thread

[Feng Shui]

Firefighters rescue 30 stone pig from first floor flat where it ate Chinese takeaways | Metro News

Two-year-old Twiglet, who weighs 30 stone, had been advertised as a ‘micro-pig’ and sold for £60 to a grandma who always wanted a pig.

She slept on a mattress, was toilet trained to use a litter tray, and was fed on Chinese takeaways, chocolate and porridge.

At first, she was tiny but she soon ballooned to be larger than a baby elephant.

Twiglet The Pig is my new spirit animal.

 

[Zombie]

Hey millennials, ‘boomer’ is the ‘N-word’ of ageism, right-wing radio host says

 

[Feng Shui]

Hey millennials, ‘boomer’ is the ‘N-word’ of ageism, right-wing radio host says

Bob Lonsberry is hot.

Also, do you know who else is salty? The Vietnamese. Vietnam’s growing alcohol and salt addiction

 

[deepstrasz]

 

[Feng Shui]

Use of shitty washed out dance remix as backdrop. CHECK.

Speaks to the weaker members of society, like women, horses, and Australians. CHECK.

Reference to Taylor Swift. CHECK.

Tries to blame everything on alcoholism. CHECK.

aka shit and clearly fake news. Without alcoholism there would be no real news. Check out this guy trying to make good with the environment by mating with a pile of leaves. Drunk man 'tried to have sex with a pile of leaves' in a hotel car park

 

[San]

Millennials Playing D&D Confused by Concept of Long Rest

 

[Feng Shui]

Man, 46, has SCREWDRIVER pulled out of his rectum after a week | Daily Mail Online

It is not clear which end of the screwdriver was inserted first.

 

[deepstrasz]

https://nypost.com/2013/09/04/medieval-peasants-got-a-lot-more-vacation-time-than-you-economist/

 

[Feng Shui]

https://nypost.com/2013/09/04/medieval-peasants-got-a-lot-more-vacation-time-than-you-economist/

His life was shadowed by fear of famine, disease and bursts of warfare. His diet and personal hygiene left much to be desired. But despite his reputation as a miserable wretch, you might envy him one thing: his vacations.

I like how they're basically describing every filthy NEET on the planet.

 

[deepstrasz]

Woman Calls Cops After Drug Dealer Sells Her Brown Sugar Instead Of Nose Candy aka Cocaine !

 

[Lord Esdin]

nice one @deepstrasz

no news is realer than that

 

[Feng Shui]

no news is realer than that

Until this one dropped. https://nypost.com/2019/11/19/congressman-eric-swalwell-appears-to-fart-on-live-tv/

 

[deepstrasz]

Deal with Interweb at your own risk, CMA warns traders : The Standard

 

[:Elite:]

real news : trump getting impeached

 

[Feng Shui]

real news : trump getting impeached

The air lies thick with the vile stench of fake — not unlike in India where they use cow shit for seasoning. Indian city's cow dung ban leaves a bitter taste for street food vendors

 

[deepstrasz]

https://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-n...r-selling-pirated-anime-stickers-in-akihabara

 

[Feng Shui]

https://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-n...r-selling-pirated-anime-stickers-in-akihabara

The people of Akihabara can sleep in peace now that this scum is behind bars.

 

[deepstrasz]

 

[deepstrasz]

 

[Lord Esdin]

Live updates: Trump impeachment inquiry - CNNPolitics

 

[deepstrasz]

 

[Lord Esdin]

Here is some real news for you

 

[Feng Shui]

Honest Government Ad

I'm so sorry man, but these are insanely preachy and cheap. "Behold, I am saying something very exaggerated but my painfully stupid grin and super obvious voice inflection makes you understand that I'm not actually for real!" - What an incredible format! And suuuper subtle!

But I guess they plug their merc and ask for money for almost a minute of the video, so at least there's that... Either way, quit posting them! Take a note from @Lord Esdin instead -- he's starting to get real news figured out by the looks of it.

And because it's been a while since I last posted, here's some lady in Florida who did to her landlord's face what I did to that sham of a video. Florida woman throws bucket of human feces on landlord, deputies say

 

[deepstrasz]

@Feng Shui I'll try finding more left-wing news for ya.

EDIT: but until then...
NPR Choice page
Video experience headlines - BBC News
Almost 2,000 homes destroyed in Australian fires

 

[Feng Shui]

@Feng Shui I'll try finding more left-wing news for ya.

I'm pretty sure you're just saying words at this point. But just so we're in the clear, Honest Government Ad and the Juice Network is extremely left-leaning.

Politics ain't real news though, baby doll.

By the way, my money's on that Jonah Falcon is a scheming slut and Roberto is the true big dick bandido.

'Penis Man' Graffiti Keeps Popping Up in Tempe

 

[deepstrasz]

Aliens definitely exist and they could be living among us on Earth, says astronaut Helen Sharman - CNN
Former Pentagon UFO official: 'We may not be alone' - CNNPolitics

 

[Scorpio]

January 9 US-Iran News - CNN

 

[deepstrasz]

@Scorpio
Third World War!

---

A chatbot pulled me out of a 'really dark place'

 

[Feng Shui]

Godspeed, Ostrom-senshu. Godspeed.

Man requests 'trial by combat' with Japanese swords to settle custody battle with ex-wife

 

[deepstrasz]

Man Charged with Public Indecency After Performing Sex Act with Shrubbery

 

[Feng Shui]

Turns out you can't ask the girl who handles your balls to also peel your banana. Good to know where the line is drawn.

Australian Open: Elliot Benchetrit told off for asking ball girl to peel his banana - CNN

 

[deepstrasz]

Mum has 'internal SPIDER'S WEB' threaded into her bum to tighten muscles and stop it sagging - and claims it was pain free

 

[deepstrasz]

A toddler whose head swelled to three times its natural size

 

[Spear]

trump acquitted!!!

 

[deepstrasz]

Bakery owner in Romanian village removes Sri Lankan workers under pressure from locals
+Residents in Romanian village rise against Sri Lankan workers at local bread factory

 

[deepstrasz]

Metal thieves arrested in France and Romania for great train robbery | | IT Security News

Bravo France, your security is worse than during the most recent terrorist attacks.

 

[Reon]

Metal thieves arrested in France and Romania for great train robbery | | IT Security News

Bravo France, your security is worse than during the most recent terrorist attacks.

wow

 

[deepstrasz]

Defiant flag-maker says Swastika will stay

 

[deepstrasz]

Missing conscripts stay in forest thinking drill still ongoing - LRT

 

[deepstrasz]

Un bărbat din Dâmboviţa a murit după ce a fost lovit de copacul pe care îl tăia ilegal use a page translator please
Magistraţii care au decis că o fetiţă de 11 ani poate consimţi sexul same
Caz halucinant la Iaşi. O femeie a murit în chinuri groaznice după ce un vecin i-a introdus un tub metalic în vagin same
Un grup de vietnamezi care lucrează la Cluj au furat și au MÂNCAT un câine same

 

[deepstrasz]

Will Putin Be Russia’s President For Life?

 

[deepstrasz]

Taiwan professor uses kung fu to strike stude... | Taiwan News

 

[Feng Shui]

I envision this place dying out, and that the last 1,000 posts will be @deepstrasz linking Honest Government Ad clips to nobody.

 

[deepstrasz]

I envision this place dying out, and that the last 1,000 posts will be @deepstrasz linking Honest Government Ad clips to nobody.

Imagination is a fascinating thing that most of the time doesn't come true

 

[deepstrasz]

Dead dogs in trees: What's that all about?

 

[deepstrasz]

North Korea blows up liaison office in Kaesong used for talks with South - CNN

The blogger who hit back at a Russian 'assassin'

 

[deepstrasz]

To combat declining birth rate, Japan to begin offering "Breeding Visas" to foreigners

courtesy of @FeelsGoodMan

 

[deepstrasz]

Hundreds injured in huge Beirut blast - Red Cross
Beirut explosion: dead and wounded among 'hundreds of casualties', says Lebanon Red Cross – live updates

courtesy of @FeelsGoodMan

 

[deepstrasz]

Google Traducere
original: Acuzații grave la adresa Poliției. Adriana Săftoiu dezvăluie cazul unei polițiste sub acoperire, turnată de colegi traficanților

 

[deepstrasz]

Funny moment naked German sunbather chases after wild boar that stole his laptop