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Lonely Sea's Cinematic

what do you think of the cine serries

  • Good

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Great

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    14
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Level 3
Joined
Oct 14, 2004
Messages
33
This is a pretty cool cinematic with a great storyline so far. Only real problems I could see was with the grammar, other than that, it was cool.
 
Level 9
Joined
Sep 8, 2004
Messages
633
well, i'm sorry, but i'm not really positive about it.
(maybe i'm just spoiled by other great cinematics i've seen..)

Some tips:
- music fadein/fadeout when the battle starts.
- Grammar
- reduce the obviousness in the monologs and dialogs, the text sometimes made me feel like i was watching a pre-school comicserie of some kind.
(with that i meant the parts like 'first i will have to take off my armor, and lay down my sword')
- Try to use a space, or enter after a sentence is ended. also watch the use of questionmarks, some sentences missed some.

---

@ part 2:

- Who is the warden, where did she come from, why did she attack thranduil?
- Omg at the rowboat, that looks terrible, i'd advice you to change that.
 
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