Haiku writing

[N.Knight]

Recently I attended a zen gardening workshop which was followed by a Haiku reciting session. I was literally blown of my feet by the simplicity and beauty of some Haikus. I have never written Haikus before but decided to put pen and paper to work. So went for a little walk, got overtly romantic and this is what came out. Tell me what you feel.

"Why the breeze sings today,
from where this fragrance floats
carrying a beautiful voice in my ears"


"Sunlight saturates the verdant pool
as your fragrance, my breath
as your melody, my lips"


Will try and write more, with more effort, more romance.

 

[Celaquil]

I won't even begin to pretend to fully understand what a Haiku is, I quite recently did
some research on the matter, and by what I found, there are some funky over-complex
complexions at work in Haikus, so I'll read it the way I can understand it, as a fractal
poem without rhyme, but with rhythm, my favourite kind.

Considering I seriously abhor nearly any and every poem or story revolving about the
love between two people, and the constant romantic twists that follows. I chose to
interpret this in a different fashion, as a person completely and utterly at peace with
the world around him, or her. A person that feels a sort of kinship, akin to love, for the
wind and the smell of the nature he or she is part of, like a peaceful, natural, symphony.

Obviously I also interpreted it like this based on the fact that you said you took a walk
to configure the poem. It's nice, it flows well and has a calming, soothing sort of read.

It's not much of a poem, though. The message, if my interpretation is correct, is quite
shallow, it doesn't take much effort to see. Which makes for a poor poem, most of the
time, and on that note I'd like to quote myself:

A good poem is composed when the reader feels like a
genius for understanding it, even if he doesn't

Basically, next time you take a walk to compose a poem, or Haiku, don't only get
all romantic, also awaken your inner augur, consider how you can get your point
across without making it blatantly obvious.

 

[N.Knight]

I won't even begin to pretend to fully understand what a Haiku is -snip

Haikus are Japanese poetry. In essence its just regular poetry, only miniaturized. Come to think of it, the Japs have some serious obsession with miniaturizing everything and converting it into an art form. Take Bonsai for example. Not saying I don't like it, I love Bonsais and Zen gardening and recently Haikus.

I chose to interpret this in a different fashion, as a person completely and utterly at peace with the world around him, or her. A person that feels a sort of kinship, akin to love, for the wind and the smell of the nature he or she is part of, like a peaceful, natural, symphony.

Well, thank you. I take that as a very nice compliment

Basically, next time you take a walk to compose a poem, or Haiku, don't only get all romantic, also awaken your inner augur, consider how you can get your point across without making it blatantly obvious.

Now that I look at it, it seems more like a love song than a poem...I think I even got the meter wrong :/
I will keep your words in my mind for the next time I write any poetry, though I can't say when that time will come. Thanks for the review Mats

Considering I seriously abhor nearly any and every poem or story revolving about the love between two people, and the constant romantic twists that follows.

That was a leeetle misogynistic. I respect your views but I can't say I liked this part.