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Concept Thread

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Level 2
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Running out of ideas for a decent story? Or maybe you have a few that are good, but your no writer? Then look no further then, here!

Basically just post ideas for people, or use ideas people have posted.

Comon lets put some life in this forum!
 
Level 2
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
18
This forum is for story posting, reading and reviews. When reviewing a story you should generally post about how good or bad the grammar is, among other things.
 
Level 37
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Messages
7,601
Ok, wait a sec. I'm going to create it now. :p

EDIT: Here we go. I wait strong criticsm + grammar error fixes. Let's make this better, I just made it in 1 hour.


P = Phodom
T = Thomas

First Cinematic - Phodom enters to a field.

T. Oh, hi there Phodom.
P: Thomas, how are you? How's your animals?
T: They are doing fine, like always. What brings you here? I have not seen you few months.
P: Yeah, I spend all my with the children. They keep me busy.
T: Ahh... I understand. I was just wondering that... Have you heard any scream lately? Or is it my imagination?
P: Screams, ehh? Nope, not a single one. Why are you asking?
T: Well, today morning I wake up to a screams. Someone was screaming, I really wonder if it's my imaginatio or no. I heard it coming from Ogre Mountain.
P: Ogre Mountain... It's near of road from Terdoom Castle.
T: Yes, I think you should go look if something has happened.
P: Yeah, I will do that. Wait here, I come back soon as I have checked that everything is okay.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream:
Thomas was wondering if something has happened in Ogre Mountain. He heard a screams this morning and he's not sure if it's his imagination or not. He told you to check it out just in case. You told him that if you don't find anything special you go to back to Thomas.



P = Phodom
L = Lloyd
C = Carson(dead)

Second Cinematic - In Ogre Mountain, Phodom sees a man who's looking dead man who's his friend.

P: What's going on here!?
L: A warrior!? Praise good someone finally is helping us.
P: Why your friend is dead!?
L: We were a caravan... We came from Terdoom Castle to Dalli to enjoy this Fall. But then... It happened.
P: What happened!?
L: We were attacked by an ogre group. There were at least 5 ogres, we were surrounded very fast, they captures all of us and put us to their cages. Me... and Carson escaped... But now he's dead... DEAD!
P: I'm sorry about him but I will go alert some guards from the street and they will help us.
L: NO! There's no time. You must act now. Soon they will be dead. Ogres will slaughter them and then eat them... You must enter to that cave, you must go help my friends. You are our only hope. Go, enter that cave, go help them... Please.
P: Very well then, I'll go. But in meantime, you go to get some guards here.
L: I.. I'll try my best... But my friend-
P: You go to call help, that's an order, now.
L: Ok, I go.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream: [UPDATE]
You met Lloyd, who's friend Carson is dead. He asked you to enter a cave to save his other friends from deadly ogres. Enter a cave, save all his friends and come back to outside. In meantime, Lloyd go to ask more help.
slaughter



P = Phodom
O = Ogre chieftain

Third Cinematic - Inside a dungeon, Phodom meets the ogre leader. Ogres are very stupid, but srong.

P: Leave them alone, I'm your enemy, fight with me!
O: Uagh... First... Answer... Why me leader?
P: Hmm... Because you are the strongest?
O: Clo... Close... I kill last chief... chieftain, me boss now.
[Ogre kills a human]
P: What have you done!?
O: BATTLE!!!




P = Phodom
T = Thomas
L = Lloyd
E = Elite Guard

Third Cinematic - Phodom leaves Ogre Dungeon. Almost everyone is saved. When he cames to the day light, 2 guard, 1 elite guard, Thomas and Llouyd is waiting for him.

T: Phodom!!!
L: You are alive!!!!
P: Yes, and here are the survivors.
L: FANTASTIC! But... Where's Alfred?
P: I'm sorry, I counldn't save everyone. He was mashed to death.
L: Afred... No!
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an ogre army alone and we are very happy to hear that. It would takes days for us to do the same.
P: That's what dragon slayers are. Powerful warriors.
E: We escord now everyone to the nearest hotel. Phodom, take this as reward,
P: Thank you.
 
Last edited:
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
hmm storys pretty good but the dialog is terribly gramaticaly incorrect and the way everyone talk and things happen, it's not so great. try making it not so stereotipical and a little more realistic, like maybe the screams happened within a minute or two of when phodom came and he saw thomas running to see what the screams were, and also i hate these two lines
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an ogre army alone and we are very happy to hear that. It would takes days for us to do the same.
P: That's what dragon slayers are. Powerful warriors.
i think it should be a little more like this
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an entire ogre cave alone and we are very supprised to hear that you are alive. It would take 3 of us to do the same.
P: Thank you, well even ogres are not as powerful as a dragon.
 
Level 37
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Messages
7,601
Well, the problem is I can't. That is why I made that comment. I want your help(or someone else). Perhaps you could make the text better, if you have time? I won't forget your credits.

And I always suck at the end... I always make end too quick. Perhaps it should be made longer?

Btw, I do have an american who's translating stuff for the campaign, but the campaign have soooooooo many cinematics and text so I don't wanna give him all. That is why I'm here also. I have already made 13 translation request and next one is coming very soon. :D
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
ok like this for the first part maybe


P = Phodom
T = Thomas

First Cinematic - Phodom is walking to the inn as he sees Thomas running across the road at top speed.

P: Thomas, is that you?
T: Phodom! great to see you but I'm in a hurry.
P: Whats wrong?
T: I heard some screams coming from Ogre Mountain
P: Screams? Someone could be hurt, especially up at Ogre mountain.
T: Yeah that what i thought, I'm going to check it out now.
P: If you don't mind may I come?
T: Actually would you mind going in my stead? as you know I'm not as strong as you, and my sword is back at my house.
P: Yeah, I wouldn't want you getting hurt too.
T: Thanks a lot, i really gotta finish collecting grain anyway.
P: Ogre Mountain... It's near the road from Terdoom Castle isn't it?
T: Yeah, well i guess I'll see you after.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream:
Thomas was wondering if something has happened in Ogre Mountain. He heard screams. He told you to check it out. You told him that if you don't find anything special you will go to back to Thomas.
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
heres the others


P = Phodom
L = Lloyd
C = Carson(dead)

Second Cinematic - In Ogre Mountain, Phodom sees a man who looks dead and a man who appears to be his friend.

P: What's going on here!?
L: A warrior!? Thank goodness someone's here to help us.
P: Y...Your friend is dead!?
L: We were a caravan... We came from Terdoom Castle to Dalli to enjoy this Fall. But then... we were attacked.
P: by whom!?
L: We were attacked by ogres. There were at least 5 of them, we were quickly surrounded, they captured us all and put us in cages. Me... and Carson escaped... But now he's dead... DEAD!
P: I'm sorry. I will go alert some guards from the street and they will help us.
L: NO! There's no time. You must act now. Soon they will be dead. The ogres will slaughter them and eat them... You must kill the leader, you must go help my friends. You are our only hope. Go, to the cave, go help them... Please.
P: Very well then, I'll go. But in the meantime, you go alert the guards.
L: I.. I'll try my best... But my friend-
P: Go call help, that's an order, now!
L: Ok, I'm going.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream: [UPDATE]
You met Lloyd, who's friend Carson is dead. He asked you to enter the cave to save his other friends from deadly ogres. Enter the cave, save all his friends and come back outside. In the meantime, Lloyd is going to ask for more help.
slaughter



P = Phodom
O = Ogre chieftain

Third Cinematic - Inside a dungeon, Phodom meets the ogre leader. Ogres are very stupid, but strong.

P: Leave them alone, I'm your enemy, fight with me!
O: Uagh... First... Answer... Why me leader?
P: Hmm? a riddle?
O: *Ogre laugh*, me Don't know word rid...riddle!
P: *sigh* umm... because you are strong
O: Clo... Close... I kill last chief... chieftain, me boss now.
[Ogre kills a human]
P: What have you done!?
O: BATTLE!!!




P = Phodom
T = Thomas
L = Lloyd
E = Elite Guard

Third Cinematic - Phodom leaves Ogre Dungeon. Almost everyone is saved. When he came to the day light, 2 guard, 1 elite guard, Thomas and Llouyd are waiting for him.

T: Phodom!!!
L: You are alive!!!!
P: Yes, and here are the survivors.
L: FANTASTIC! But... Where's Alfred?
P: I'm sorry, I counldn't save everyone. He must have been killed.
L: Afred... No!
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an entire ogre cave alone and we are very supprised to hear that you are alive. It would take 3 of us to do the same.
P: Thank you, well even ogres are not as powerful as a dragon.
E: We'll escort everyone to the nearest inn. Phodom, I don't have much with me but here take this as reward,
P: Thank you.
 
Level 37
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Messages
7,601
About second cinematic, is it bit stupid that if they escape from the attack, they would run entrance of ogre dungeon? :D

And, I still think fourth cinematic is a bit too quick. Actually you just edited it just a little. :<

However, you did great job. I will now combine all and put them here. Then I wait for someone else to final edit these, and they are done. Thanks, take some rep, here.

EDIT: Okay, now I want final touch. Can someone fix all grammar errors that can be found and make this as perfect as possible(not you, AirHead because we need third's brains, no offense of course, you are great what you have done)?

P = Phodom
T = Thomas

First Cinematic - Phodom is walking to the inn as he sees Thomas running across the road at top speed.

P: Thomas, is that you?
T: Phodom! great to see you but I'm in a hurry.
P: Whats wrong?
T: I heard some screams coming from Ogre Mountain
P: Screams? Someone could be hurt, especially up at Ogre mountain.
T: Yeah that what i thought, I'm going to check it out now.
P: If you don't mind may I come?
T: Actually would you mind going in my stead? as you know I'm not as strong as you, and my sword is back at my house.
P: Yeah, I wouldn't want you getting hurt too.
T: Thanks a lot, i really gotta finish collecting grain anyway.
P: Ogre Mountain... It's near the road from Terdoom Castle isn't it?
T: Yeah, well i guess I'll see you after.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream:
Thomas was wondering if something has happened in Ogre Mountain. He heard screams. He told you to check it out. You told him that if you don't find anything special you will go to back to Thomas.



P = Phodom
L = Lloyd
C = Carson(dead)

Second Cinematic - In Ogre Mountain, Phodom sees a man who looks dead and a man who appears to be his friend.

P: What's going on here!?
L: A warrior!? Thank goodness someone's here to help us.
P: Y...Your friend is dead!?
L: We were a caravan... We came from Terdoom Castle to Dalli to enjoy this Fall. But then... we were attacked.
P: by whom!?
L: We were attacked by ogres. There were at least 5 of them, we were quickly surrounded, they captured us all and put us in cages. Me... and Carson escaped... But now he's dead... DEAD!
P: I'm sorry. I will go alert some guards from the street and they will help us.
L: NO! There's no time. You must act now. Soon they will be dead. The ogres will slaughter them and eat them... You must kill the leader, you must go help my friends. You are our only hope. Go, to the cave, go help them... Please.
P: Very well then, I'll go. But in the meantime, you go alert the guards.
L: I.. I'll try my best... But my friend-
P: Go call help, that's an order, now!
L: Ok, I'm going.

Optional Quest 5: A Scream: [UPDATE]
You met Lloyd, who's friend Carson is dead. He asked you to enter the cave to save his other friends from deadly ogres. Enter the cave, save all his friends and come back outside. In the meantime, Lloyd is going to ask for more help.
slaughter



P = Phodom
O = Ogre chieftain

Third Cinematic - Inside a dungeon, Phodom meets the ogre leader. Ogres are very stupid, but strong.

P: Leave them alone, I'm your enemy, fight with me!
O: Uagh... First... Answer... Why me leader?
P: Hmm? a riddle?
O: *Ogre laugh*, me Don't know word rid...riddle!
P: *sigh* umm... because you are strong
O: Clo... Close... I kill last chief... chieftain, me boss now.
[Ogre kills a human]
P: What have you done!?
O: BATTLE!!!



P = Phodom
T = Thomas
L = Lloyd
E = Elite Guard

Third Cinematic - Phodom leaves Ogre Dungeon. Almost everyone is saved. When he came to the day light, 2 guard, 1 elite guard, Thomas and Llouyd are waiting for him.

T: Phodom!!!
L: You are alive!!!!
P: Yes, and here are the survivors.
L: FANTASTIC! But... Where's Alfred?
P: I'm sorry, I counldn't save everyone. He must have been killed.
L: Afred... No!
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an entire ogre cave alone and we are very supprised to hear that you are alive. It would take 3 of us to do the same.
P: Thank you, well even ogres are not as powerful as a dragon.
E: We'll escort everyone to the nearest inn. Phodom, I don't have much with me but here take this as reward,
P: Thank you.
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
here's something i just thought of


P = Phodom
T = Thomas
L = Lloyd
E = Elite Guard
S = Stranger
B = Bard

Fourth Cinematic - Phodom leaves Ogre Dungeon. Almost everyone is saved. When he came to the day light, 2 guard, 1 elite guard, Thomas and Llouyd are waiting for him.

T: Phodom!!!
L: You are alive!!!!
P: Yes, and here are the survivors.
L: FANTASTIC! But... Where's Alfred?
P: I'm sorry, I counldn't save everyone. He must have been killed.
L: Afred... No!
E: Erhm... Excellent job Phodom, you just defeated an entire ogre cave alone and we are very supprised to hear that you are alive. It would take 3 of us to do the same.
P: Thank you, well even ogres are not as powerful as a dragon.
E: We'll escort everyone to the nearest inn. Phodom, I don't have much with me but here take this as reward,
P: Thank you.

Later at the inn.

E: Thank you so much for the help, you just made my job a lot easier aswell as saving these people.
S: Excuse me, i couldn't help overhearing that you saved those men that just went upstairs. May i please write a song about you?
P: what?
S: You see I am a Bard i travel around the country and make songs of great doings such as yours, would you mind if i wrote a song about it?
*Stranger is the Bard*
P: Oh i see, very well.

*bard plays song*

and this part if you want you can throw it out the window, i just thought it might be good.

B: I say, that was one of my best songs yet, and as i remember other storys your name seems to come up a lot, would you mind if i followed along and make a note of all of your great adventures, so i can write a few more songs about you.
P: I guess you can come, but it will be dangerous and you may get hurt.
B: No matter i shall come with you.

And later the bard learns he can use his instrument to use magic.
 
Level 19
Joined
Jul 19, 2006
Messages
2,307
Background: These were for Prodigy Productions, but ever since that shut down I've had my curiosities of what you all might think of them. So, finally, I'm releasing them to the public.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The Golden Goblet



Shadows drawn like masterpiece-on-the-mountain, travelers led by leaders no braver than themselves, were struggling to get any bit of progress on this morning’s desperate search. At the top of the cliff, a golden goblet. On the other side, an opposing expedition. The men, wanting treasure, started to look upon each other for help. In the confusion, a man fell off the steep cliff - to his death. Unfortunately, no one could do anything to help the man… watching him slowly clap his flaying head against rock, tree, and brush. His body scabbed and scarred by the everlasting mountain, the dredged climb. As he fell, the men could see no longer a man, but a grey fog, crawling closer, and closer to the top of the mountain.

The fog would be sure to doom all travelers, both sides, opposing each other, to the look of it. Thus, the men started in desperation, a run to the top of the cliff. Rocks chipping, falling to the ever-so-far away ground that they had once walked. Soon, even tall-standing trees, shortening by length the farther they traveled upward, were also being cut down, maybe by the force of the trotting and tempered humans, or by their equipment and will falling behind them.

Brush was sliced, waving faster and faster, the seemingly deadly fog was creeping ever so closely, and so was the wind that followed. Yet, in the struggle, now almost to the top, both expeditions started to lose more than just gripping turf, men. More now then a single clumsy soul, spearing toward his death. Guards, gatherers, bearers, leaders, lovers and loved ones, were being cut down as fast as the ground they stood upon. Getting the golden goblet, the realized, was no longer a team-effort, but a single trophy. No longer were the expeditions racing, but everyone, racing against each other, cutting each other down. Helmets, axes, torrents of blood, falling and tossing at each other. Once men, now animals.

The fog had turned them from travelers, to runners, from runners, to killers. Once the fog had caught up with the merciless, the monsters seemed to disappear. They had left their lanes and were disqualified from the race of ever-pointless death. For a treasure, that became more valuable to the monsters, as they longed their climb. Once a man, having his title rocketed downward from brave traveler to merciless betrayer, got his hands on the goblet. The fog had seized, and was now traveling at the same speed… downward. But the man realized, that the truth was creepingly obvious, with no help and no honor, he would never get back.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Capitulation or Confrontation




Morning had come, then left. No one had any expectations, predictions or thoughts. The current day, awoken by the crowning of dictators and the mourning of animals in grey fog… was one of deep and thickening battle. One side, polluted by the smoke of utterly unimaginable war machines, and the other just the same. If one fired at the other, they would all follow along. Mindless, but necessary. Trained men, or zombies as most would call them, manned the machines, and the ones on the open plain were sure to be dead within minutes. The Machines had heavy defenses, armor plating, and devastating turrets. The infantry had rifles whose bullets would bounce like pellets off of the War Machines’ armor, and instead fling back at themselves.

One tank shot, accidental, no question. Then, a festival of deadly lights spread across the land. First there was the sound of bullets, the occasional turret spewing out deadly shells, or the scream of an unlucky victim. But, soon the bullets stopped, the screaming became scarce, and the turrets started to fire like land dragons. With no more infantry support, the tanks were forced to fire at each other, some had been manned with different weaponry, artillery, shrapnel-corpses loaded in the cannon. None were very effective, each armor plating was designed to deflect shells and only take the most heavy of fire.

After days of conflict, only minutes of rest, and thousands of casualties, the shells started to have a sorrowful effect. Some of the once war-ready tanks were now almost completely abandoned, or evacuated. Some tanks had been pounded by shells to the point of annihilation. From tens of thousands, to merely one or two, the men had all lost their initial motivation. Soon, men dropped like flies, some had given up, set their secondary weaponry on the ground-covered in blood.

In the final moments of the battle, some said that no one left on the battlefield was half the man they used to be. None of which were even half a man when the battle had started. None could remember what they had done, what they had planned, or even what they wanted at that very moment. One thing was certain, though, they had a sense of necessity, because they pleaded and retreated from the field of battle the moment that their inner instinct or controlled tweak had told them to. Sad and depressing, but amazing.



_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hand of Commandment






Trees being drown like murderous victims in suspenseful rain that chokes them as if every drop were a prick of acid, and men circled in the middle of this forest-like battlefield, were expecting a chaotic downfall of more than just natural occurrence. Strapped to these men’s chests were swords, axes, and inexpensive bows, useless, as were their pretty red-crimson armor plating and their adequate ability to follow orders - against their powerful enemy. In the middle of these soldiers, not prepared even to the slightest bit for battle, was a wimpish commander.

Trembling in the wet, cold pouring precipitation and white tears, the men stood, shaken, pail and colorless. Screeches came from the trees, the commander started to bight his nails, and show his oh-so-skinny physique. He crumpled like paper-set-aflame, and with that, the enemy showed it’s first valiant minion. The minion was covered in soot, flesh-covered bone and blood, creeping down from all of its pours. Tearing marks across its chest shown torn clothing and then terribly stained ribs, revealing a creepingly, and utterly reassuring fact, these were not mere mortals.

The minion had shown itself, then stepped back, the soldiers were looking in all different directions, seeing monsters of all shape-and-form. Some taller, some frozen, some more rain than man, and some were once mortals such as the ones that were surrounded by the impenetrable force.

Without notice, all of the warriors, countless, came charging in. Their leader, unlike that of the utterly useless militia’s, was a tall, confident, and ingenious one. The mortals’ leader, was pouring tears, and his awfully crooked and deformed spine was showing through his bent robe. The pitiful and crumbling commander started to point in all directions - with only one of his hands. Starting slowly, moving his soldiers from one location to get slaughtered, and then to another. Moving them in front of assassins charging in to take out the heart of the formation. Until nothing was left but a few soldiers, mindlessly wandering, with a slow slaughtering ahead of them.




REVIEW OR DIEZ
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
cool, i liked the last one.

So here's what i have.


Mother Earth

The town of Gamor was peaceful and still, the farmers were in they're fields the maids were just waking and the children were still asleep. the sun was low and the grass as green as ever. a few boys had been planning a trip to the forest of Lomar for a week and had finaly got around to going. 'are you ready yet John?' yelled Abram through the door to johns bedroom, Abram was a tall and thin and had thick curly dark brown hair. he continued on down the hall to grab his bag. A thick man, opened the front door of the house and rushed in 'is he still sleeping?' he asked 'no Will, now hes getting ready.' said Abram Will groaned and went outside to Farley.

when they had finally left it was almost 10:00 when they had planned to leave three hour earlier. as they walked through the hills toward the forest Farley noticed that Lomar forest had grown a great bit since they started from the house and often said things like 'this forest is closer than i thought.' but never was it true. when they finally got to the edge of the forest John screamed 'what's wrong? asked Will 'th...the forest is-' but john was cut short by the screams of the others. they all ran back toward the town as fast as they could but ended up only taking one step before all of them passed out. the sun was high and noon was upon the town.

by the time the sun was getting low again the farmers on the side of town of the forest were confused, 'is the forest actually bigger today?' they said, to which the reply was always 'no, of course not' but they all continued with whatever it was they were doing. by nightfall a man noticed a tree in his field he went to see why a tree had been put in his field without his permission but never returned. the farmers all began to flee back into the center of the town and the sheriff came to see what was the matter in the farms. as he came he saw many unusual things, one was a family traveling to town alone without a father, another strange thing was that he saw the farmers had planted many trees since he had last been there. but as he approach the edge of the farms he saw the Lomar forest. he turned and fled back to town immediately. by the time he had finished telling what he saw to the farmers it was dark, and nobody could identify much of anything they didn't know without, a candle. a large cloud of dust began to rise from the farms and the edge of town, as it grew nearer the people started panicking, some thought it was bats and other though a flame had come to consume them, but none could tell in the small light. suddenly grass started sprouting quickly through the cracks in the cobblestone roads, and houses started collapsing. there were some who ran into the dust around the houses but none came back out. a man screamed and pointed at the clearing dust around a house, the house was covered in vines and the floor appeared to be nothing but grass. two trees has broken through the house, demolished two walls and were now coming out of the smoke toward the man, he ran in terror across a courtyard, the grass became razor sharp and sliced at his feet, he collapsed to the ground and died impaled my thousands of razor sharp blades of grass. the bushes in the town were hopping around whipping people with thorny branches, the trees stabbing and whacking with they're large branches, and the vines strangling and destroying.

the sheriff was hacking and cutting with his axe but every time he cut a plant, another took its place. he stopped and rested for a few minutes but as he did a golden figure approached him, a woman dressed in a great gown of leaves with hair of the peddles of flower. 'who are you?' he ask and she replied not with words but with thoughts, he heard them in his mind 'I am mother earth' she told him 'and i have come to tell you, this town deserved to be destroyed.' he then noticed that the whole time she had been floating off of the ground with her dress hanging down past here feet almost to the ground. 'deserves it, what do you mean?' she let out a beautiful laugh that almost made him happy even though he was about to die, then she was gone.

After the battle the town was no more, nothing remained not even the roads or debris from the houses no bodies, no buildings, no roads, no survivors just grass and trees. all that was left were plants.
 
Level 9
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
443
here's the next part of the story, which actually has nothing to do with Mother Earth herself but more with the overall story.

Inthilian Affairs

In the town of Inthil all was well, the mills were working and lumbermen cutting. noon was near and life was normal for all, all but one man. this man was Jacob, a lumberman like most of the town, his hair was thin and dark, his skin pale, and his arms thin. His day was not normal for as he was cutting he seemed to get lost, he was hacking at an average tree with an average axe in a usual spot, however when the tree was cut he no longer recognized the forest around him. he looked this way and that to maybe find a familiar tree or bush, or even a mark he had set to mark his cutting territory. It was as if the tree had moved him into a unknown part of the forest, without him noticing.

He had decided it a good idea to find which way was north, then he could get back home. so he climbed a tree, when he reached the top the sun was straight in the air, and it was impossible to tell the direction of north, also he could not see anything beyond forest. he climbed down more confused than ever, and made his way in a random direction. he reached a stream thick and deep, also he didn't want to get wet as he knew it would be cold that night. he walked along the stream and it grew into a river, as it grew he began to wonder if there were a way across, but he found a tree grown over the stream, a strong oak with long branches stretching across the entire river.

He climbed onto the tree and across the branches with little difficulty, but as he neared the other side the tree seemed to not be as long as he thought and not stretched to the other side of the river. he got as far as he could stood as best as he could and jumped, he made it across but barely and with wet feet, he noticed immediately that the ground was rough and hard, he dug through the top layer of soft dirt, and found a wooden floor. he dug along the ground to find the end of it, and found it had been a house, not just a house but not too long ago, he found hot wood and rocks buried in the dirt and metal with no rust. he heard sounds around him, but saw nothing, he hid in the bushes but the sound continued, and even got nearer. he dashed into the forest and heard the sounds following he looked back but saw nothing, as he continued to run it got louder, suddenly the sound leaped right behind him and a large whip seemed to wrap around him tightly and pull him to the ground. he struggled but the whip never loosened, he looked at the whip and it appeared to be made of vines, he looked back but couldn't find the direction of the person whipping him. he was dragged and tossed into a large ditch.

He looked around but couldn't find anything familiar, the sun was setting and he couldn't see allot, as he fumbled around in the rocks on the ground trying to find his way to the wall of the ditch, the shadow of the walls were making it especially hard to see. he found the wall but no place to grab, no roots or vines. he moved along the wall until he got to a place where the light reached. he looked at the ditch from there and screamed, there were dead bodies everywhere. he grabbed at the dirt as best as he could and barely managed to get a few feet up, he grabbed the top of the wall and pulled himself up to a place where he could see over the ledge, he looked and saw a great tree, the largest tree he had ever see, it was covered in vines and had a the basic shape of a face carved into it. he pulled himself onto flat ground and ran through the trees, until he saw the end, by the time he reached the edge of the forest he could see the sun getting ready to rise on the horizon.

He ran into the large field on past the forest and squinted hard at the horizon to see if anything was there. the sun grew from behind the hills and lit the whole field, he saw a town in the middle of the field. he ran to it exhausted and almost collapsed a few times and finally did at the edge of the town.
 
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