Storytelling RP: Avataria #2

[clockwork2]

sounds good, have a nice sleep.
also i just posted it, and Arcisal Aaron has finally gotten tired, ok?

 

[Arcisal]

sounds good, have a nice sleep.
also i just posted it, and Arcisal Aaron has finally gotten tired, ok?

Haha. Alrighty.

But I wasn't complaining that he was tired. I was just saying if you plan to make it dramatic or an epic (the genre, not the description) story, then you should also consider physical and bodily limits. Just sayin'. That is all.

 

[Ironside]

I'm confused of what this MCC is all of a sudden which has a lot of metal...

 

[Amargaard]

@Arcisal and Clock: Agreed, Aaron can ressurect, fly, cure poison, etc etc etc. Maybe we should stop adding new abilities for the character?

@Ironside: The MCC is a Mobile Command Center, a dwarven aircraft going to join the rebel forces, but it flew over the wall and recently crashed in the evil wasteland.
And Clock made up the recycling-idea, which means that the MCC's weaponry wouldn't work without crushed metal

 

[-Peper-]

Wait, isn't Aaron a marine? Well he maybe got wings from Dacaos but no not magic

 

[Ironside]

@Ironside: The MCC is a Mobile Command Center, a dwarven aircraft going to join the rebel forces, but it flew over the wall and recently crashed in the evil wasteland.
And Clock made up the recycling-idea, which means that the MCC's weaponry wouldn't work without crushed metal

Alright then.

 

[Amargaard]

Yeah, he was, but story tells that he did, but let's keep it with this. Seriously, one more ability and I'll make up some story how to remove all of them.
And by creating "Darkness", you lost your permission to create characters -Peper-, for now

Going to update first post now

 

[-Peper-]

Don't worry, 'Darkness' is not too imba as it looks. It maybe looks imba, but no.

 

[clockwork2]

well Aaron is currently, from my point of view. undoing his technological side, and heading more for magic. And yeah, Aaron has way too many powers. i may or may not make up a story to wipe them out.

 

[Amargaard]

Ehh guys, I'll be away from the Hive from today 'till wednesday, perhaps longer. I'll ofcourse take any chance of logging in during that time - please keep the story alive, in my absence :b

 

[clockwork2]

Sure!

 

[Amargaard]

Updated main-post to match current events. I'm going to write a new post in the roleplaying thread, if I find the time before I have to leave

Hmmm, you guys are making more posts than I am!

 

[clockwork2]

ahahah...don't worry, i'll lag behind abit.

 

[-Peper-]

Okay, since when Aaron can pray to god to summon light?
No offense, just pointing out that it is funny. Since Razet's tower were covered by permanent black clouds and the sky were complete black since Darkness' morph.

 

[clockwork2]

His homeworld HAS magic ya know, and praying is anyones right, now the question you should ask is why hasn't the gods rejected him. And yer right, it doesn't make sense, but i love my charecters too much to get them risking being killed. Also I think this story will resolve itself rather quick, unless we do something..

 

[Ironside]

It definitely won't end anytime soon after Auxion enters the war zone.

 

[-Peper-]

Lol, so epic Ironside.

 

[clockwork2]

i see..

 

[Ironside]

I'm making my 3rd character: Selia, Titan of Light (human form)
Taken from Titan Land - Rise of Kingdoms just like my previous 2.

She basically looks like a normal human blond girl about 175cm in height, blue eyes.

I won't use her right away, just creatd her in advance.

 

[Amargaard]

I'm back! I'm looking forward to get a taste of what you guys cooked up while I was gone :b

 

[Arcisal]

Fuck. I'm confused as shit.
So we get a third character?

And as I said clockwork, magically praying to a god of light is essentially, god-modding. You're like the invulnerable non-stopping cliche hero that you see in cheap low-budget movies that conveniently have a magical power that springs up each time to rescue him. Now I'm not saying that's against the rules, I'm saying it just sounds like plain shit, to be very frank. No offense though, that's criticism, which is harsh. Look at Amargaard's character, he voluntarily allowed my character to possess him when I allowed anyone to decide whose character I should possess next. You see, he didn't let his character have the good of everything, he allowed some bad things to happen to his character, which is was drives the story to greater heights and deeper depths. And allowing bad things to happen doesn't mean you dislike your character, it just shows that you want to contribute to the depth and complexity of the plot, which makes it all the more interesting to read. Not like some shabby lousy story.

 

[Ironside]

Every 5 chapters you can make a new character.

 

[-Peper-]

I make the King, just to let you know Amar
Now, don't tell me clock you're gonna summon a light again to defeat a tower-sized dragon.
Also, any suggestion about the Evil King's name?
Not defending myself from getting my character overpowered, but it is reasonable to make a shadow, source of evil, hatred and fear to not be defeated by a suddenly-has-magic elf, don't ya? Technically it is looked like a boss in a game, when then one of the thousand soldiers summon a light spear and pierces him to death.
Btw Razet's out till Darkness can fetch the antidote for him, if the tower doesn't get destroyed

 

[Arcisal]

I make the King, just to let you know Amar
Now, don't tell me clock you're gonna summon a light again to defeat a tower-sized dragon.
Also, any suggestion about the Evil King's name?
Not defending myself from getting my character overpowered, but it is reasonable to make a shadow, source of evil, hatred and fear to not be defeated by a suddenly-has-magic elf, don't ya? Technically it is looked like a boss in a game, when then one of the thousand soldiers summon a light spear and pierces him to death.
Btw Razet's out till Darkness can fetch the antidote for him, if the tower doesn't get destroyed

If you checked my latest post on the RP, specifically "Other 2", then you would see Nagros planning to desert the war to avoid the punishment that traditionally awaits losing commanders from the higher ranks. Maybe this King could be the same person he was referring to? Just an idea. I thought it would be cool if there were more connections among the secondary characters.

And yes, I agree with the summon a light again. I just read how my character was discovered and captures and I immediately went *poker face*. Haha, nevermind. I just left him there anyways.

 

[Amargaard]

Agreed, Aaron's becoming a little overpowered - And I'll see to it myself that he'll lose either all or some of his powers if no one else does :b
And I too, am confused as fuck. Where am I? xD .. I think Aaron captured me and Arcisal in a forcefield or something, but I have no idea what then happened to my beloved avatar char? :b

And -Peper-, the King is awzum, thanks for making him - I'll try contribute to his part of the plot a little
Character connections are awzum!

Beware, a post is coming up, but I will probably have to do a research through the new posts again, to finish it :b

 

[-Peper-]

Wait, didn't your character was possessed by Arcisal then Aaron found him then it went unknown?
Also what happened with Duke Talban now?
@Arcisal
Yeah, that'll be cool. Looking forward for that.

 

[Amargaard]

I'll made a post featuring most of the chars, except for Regex, Auxion and Razet - what happened to Razet, by the way?

If I wrote anything wrong - Highly possible as I'm still a little confused about what have recently happened - please let me know

 

[-Peper-]

Razet got poisoned and Darkness sent him to another dimension to prevent uselessness

 

[clockwork2]

Actually Arcisal is trapped in a electronic prison Aaron made.

 

[Amargaard]

Oh right, I recall now. By the way, nice drawings -Peper-

EDIT: He is? What about Am'ar then? :O

 

[clockwork2]

Amaar is back to normal, Aaron accused amaar of beign possesed and Arcisal leaped out of Amaar and at Aaron. Also I am very much enjoying this RP.

 

[Amargaard]

Great - but dude, my name is Am'ar, not Amaar.
I like it too hehe, additionally these kind of RP's are the greatest way to improve your storytelling and RP'ing skills :b

 

[clockwork2]

Am'ar right, got it.
and thanks.

 

[-Peper-]

Gonna try writing in first-person, as Arcisal's way of telling stories really amazes me. Feedbacks would be appreciated.

 

[Amargaard]

First person is a difficult way to write, if you ask me - I'll stick to third person, but here's some feedback for ya - remember that it is only constructive criticism, and meant in a friendly way :b

The tower trembles as the mighty creature jumped off of it.

*The very first sentence in your post ain't following the first person rules - no one refers to themselves as "the mighty creature" ^^
*Also, I noticed how you overused the word "began" - repeating a word in a story is a bad thing and it makes it a disturbing text to read.
*Beside of that, it seems like you love repeating a little part of the actions from the former posts by other players, all the time - This is not some TV series, in which narrators tell what happened in the last episode. In other words, you shouldn't do that neither in my opinion
*With that said, I liked it, and I don't know if you do it intentionally, but your posts are always easy to continue - That's awzum!

Hmmm, I better update the main post once again ^^

 

[-Peper-]

*The very first sentence in your post ain't following the first person rules - no one refers to themselves as "the mighty creature" ^^

Dafuq, too addicted to third person.

Also, I noticed how you overused the word "began" - repeating a word in a story is a bad thing and it makes it a disturbing text to read.

My vocabulary is too few

*Beside of that, it seems like you love repeating a little part of the actions from the former posts by other players, all the time - This is not some TV series, in which narrators tell what happened in the last episode. In other words, you shouldn't do that neither in my opinion

I like watching anime btw

*With that said, I liked it, and I don't know if you do it intentionally, but your posts are always easy to continue - That's awzum!

^

Thanks!

 

[Arcisal]

Just a note Peper, I don't entirely write in first person. I adopt the character's persona, in your case a raging dragon. Then I simple just fit whatever words that sound appropriate to the character's attitude. As I said, I don't write everything in first person, but I jump in and out, especially when describing the surroundings. Like for example, I don't use the word "I", instead I use he or Arcisal. But I do add in a few side comments from the character itself.

But don't be pressured to emulate exactly how other people write. If you enjoy my style of writing and others, then mix it in and create your own. Very much like music and art. It just plagiarism if you copy one work exactly. But if you adopt 2000 works then you'll become unique, with, in this case, your own writing style. Good luck!

Oh and Ironside, your character is like in it's own world. Nobody can fucking understand you or Auxion.

 

[Ironside]

I'm not sure what you mean by that. Auxion and Regex are fighting and they're using their secret powers.

 

[clockwork2]

WAIT.REGEX IS MADE OF METAL!? WTH! anyways, great tale everybody!
Also Ama'ar i meant for Kareena to have violet hair, brown works just fine though!

 

[-Peper-]

Thanks for the tip, Arcisal. I'll find my own writing style someday

 

[Ironside]

WAIT.REGEX IS MADE OF METAL!? WTH! anyways, great tale everybody!
Also Ama'ar i meant for Kareena to have violet hair, brown works just fine though!

No, he just activated his metal gear a while back.

 

[-Peper-]

I killed someone.

 

[clockwork2]

ahh..i see Iron.

 

[Arcisal]

Introducing... Zaarnoth!
Hope you guys enjoy reading it. Tell me if you think it's a chore reading it alright, so I can cut down on the rant. My recent post was ecclesiastically long. I described the place a lot, so beware.

Oh and by the way, I felt like wrapping up. So the rebels have taken the wall and are now celebrating. And another army of evil, the reinforcements mentioned by Nargos, is now camping outside of sight, ready to attack at any moment. The tower where the battle between Cadaos (R.I.P) and Aaron had ensued is half destroyed and also captured, renamed into Hillcrose Top. Sorry if you dislike the name! I felt like it needed a nice name, not something over-elaborate or complicated like something in elvish. Just something that was coined by simple rebels.

 

[-Peper-]

So Galros... died?

 

[Arcisal]

Haha. I knew people would be confused.

What happen was Galros had miraculously survived the fall but however was left on the brink of death. Arcisal had inhabited Galros and surprisingly, felt the pain that Galros felt, which is impossible since Arcisal is a virus and thus, cannot feel human or organic feelings or stimuli. It is revealed that Zaarnoth, a sort of god that is the root cause of all the evil in the universe, had "encased" Arcisal within Galros body, whom he restored in order to carry out his plans.

 

[Amargaard]

Also Ama'ar i meant for Kareena to have violet hair, brown works just fine though!

Okay.. please call me Am (By me, I mean me - the user), you should be able to remember that and others call me that.. and my character's name is Am'ar, not Amar, Amaar or Am'aar - how hard can it be?
And since you didn't describe her yourself, I felt like I should do it - by the way, remember that describing stuff is the most important part of storywriting

By the way, I've been to the hospital earlier today, to get my shoulder fixed. I'll have to wear a sling for a while, so I'm not sure I can participate much in the roleplay the next few days

Insane patient

PS: This was all written with one hand and it took an eternity to do :O

 

[clockwork2]

ooff...

 

[Amargaard]

I vote for the Dark Destroyer

 

[-Peper-]

Vote for the Dark Destroyer, but I liked the Darkness' background in the other path.
Also, I'm gonna deeper the Cadaos' story arc by making a character in the next chapter. Yes, he is dead but not forgotten, no no.
Also Am, I know it's hard to write right now. But can you please update the main post (especially the character's background and traits unveiled and the summary) to up-to-date?