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Wraith: Chapter One v1.2

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Welcome to the world of Gairok, this map starts the story off and intoduces you to your character Valien Srawn, a young child who lost his family in an attack on his home by wraiths.
Gairok is infested with evil and powerful creatures known as wraiths. Follow Valien in this epic tale as he uncovers the truth about them and his own destiny!

I've tested the map several times, but I might of missed something so if you find any bugs, please don't hesitate to tell me.
Also if you have any ideas or tips that might help me with my project, it would be most appreciated.
(Update v0.2: Fixed spelling errors)
Credits:
General Frank (Dwarf Paladin model)
Republicola (Ring of Protection model)
Anubis54 (map testing)

Keywords:
Wraith, rpg.
Contents

Wraith: Chapter One v1.2 (Map)

Reviews
This map had been examined by Alexis Septimus. If you think this map review is not accurate or require another review, feel free to contact Alexis Septimus. But, map would only be review again for second time and also for the last time unless under...

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Review
Notice & Contact
This map had been examined by Alexis Septimus. If you think this map review is not accurate or require another review, feel free to contact Alexis Septimus. But, map would only be review again for second time and also for the last time unless under certain circumstances. It would be selfish to request constantly a mod/admin to keep review your map as there is many other maps waiting for approval as well.

However, if you still insist of another review after it had been review for second time. Feel free to contact other admin.

To contact Alexis Septimus, please click this
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Map Review


[+] Author & map name
[+] Map description
[+] THW rules & regulation
[+] Map in English language
[+] No Error/Crash/Fatal error
[+] Quality are acceptable
[+] Not stolen/hack/de-protect map

Status : Approve
Condition : Good
Review : 1

Note : I make a quick check over the trigger, it seems to be fine and you have give credit to the author. Sources approve.

Reminder
The map might not be fully tested, if any user of the map found bug/error or anything else. Feel free to contact Alexis Septimus by clicking this
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Level 2
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
10
It is finished, i'm just correcting any spelling/grammar errors that maybe in it(the ones I haven't noticed). Just ignore the v0.2 it's just making it easier for me ;).

edit: changed it to 1.2 :p
 
Last edited:
Level 14
Joined
Apr 21, 2007
Messages
1,465
Pretty good RPG with a nice atmosphere.


- The intro is way way too slow. You stretched something that could have been done in a few seconds to 2 minutes. First it's dark for 10 seconds then you see "Created by" for 10 seconds then you see presents for 10 seconds...it's too slow! Also all the dialogues in your mini cinematics are way way too slow.

- The terrain is alright for a campaign/RPG and the atmosphere is just awesome.

- Your mini cinematics need work. Try adding more camera movement.

- Maybe you should make the camera follow Valien and maybe you could make the player control the camera angle with the arrow keys.

- It is pretty dull to go around and deliver stuff, try adding something new or at least add some action.

- There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors.

Overall
- A good RPG with a nice atmosphere and a promising story. Definitely worth playing.

My Advice
-Work on your mini cinematics a bit more, add a few cameras and chose a better angle. Add fog and a sky and possibly import some nice ambient music(w3 music is old, at least for people that played it for more then half a year). Make the camera third person camera or, like I already suggested, make the player control the camera with the arrow keys. Improve the terrain and add some more interesting quests instead of the old run around.

Score
- A 3/5 from me. Like I said it's a lovely RPG with alright terrain, a great atmosphere and a promising story. Keep up the good work!
 
Last edited:
Level 24
Joined
Feb 28, 2007
Messages
3,480
Reviewed by Linaze
[√] Scanned for viruses.
[√] Contains no errors that crashes the map.

Terrain
In my opinion, the Lordaeron Summer tileset is not the prettiest, as it doesn't look realistic at all. Also the "pit" where all the flesh was looked quite bad as it was all square-ish. Also weird why they would keep that much flesh without burning it, just some thoughts. On the whole the terrain of this was somewhere slightly under good.
-- 2.75 / 5 --
Balance
As this map did not yet contain things that require balance, this will be set to 0 and the maximum score will be reduced by 5.
-- 0 / 0 --
Originality
It's an rpg, and thus it's hard to make it original. I thought this was quite ordinary, the regular run around deliver stuff scenario, I've seen and tested it before.
-- 2.25 / 5 --
Fun-Factor
I did not enjoy playing this at all. It was basically filled with boring cinematics and lots of right clicking with the mouse. I suggest you add more to this chapter before launching the second one. You could've added more action to this, like your child fighting another child or something, get creative. I'm not impressed.
-- 2 / 5 --
Overall
This was not the best map i've tested, rest assured. However, it has some potential, and could become better. The insanely long intro cinematic along with all your grammatical errors. Work on your english, reduce time of intro and overall polish and I might vote for approval, for now, I won't.
-- 7 / 15 * 100 = 46.5 --
Linaze Rating System
0-9 - Unacceptable
10-19 - Awful
20-29 - Bad
30-39 - Not Good
40-49 - Mediocre
50-59 - Okay
60-69 - Good
70-79 - Great
80-89 - Awesome
90-99 - Director's Cut
100 - Sub-Zero
 
Last edited:
Level 1
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
7
I'll be frank with my review, while this could be the beginning of a very good story, all it is right now is a beginning. So I won't grade you on story.

The cinematics tell you very little and last just long enough to make you tear your hair out.

I would recommend you scrap this mission and turn the whole thing into a short, introductory cinematic. That is, if you intend on keeping it. Personally I say, just start the story while he's still in training, or finished training, giving the players hints of his past.

There's no need to go this far just to give your story some background(it is freakishly hard to endure), unless you're using this mission to introduce a special inventory/spell/combo system to the player.

But again, given how long it's taken you to make a follow-up, there probably isn't going to be one.
 
Level 3
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
21
Okay, here's my review:

Gameplay: 2/5 The gameplay is boring, its just filled with short cinematics and running around collecting items and then bringing them back. :thumbs_down:

Envoirment: 4.5/5 The Envoirment is really good. Filled with props, plants, npc's etc. :thumbs_up:

Grammar/spelling: 3/5 While the grammar and spelling are OK in this map, it sure has flaws. I recommend you find someone to check that. :thumbs_down:

Story: 4/5 The story was pretty good, but not perfect. :thumbs_up:

Overall: 3.5 This could be the start of a epic story, but i hope the gameplay and the grammar and the spelling will improve over the next chapter. The envoirment is good, as i said before. :thumbs_up:
 
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